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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>290006
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i think we should implement a point system to see who suffers more


might as well make an upvote system


nonononot this feeling again please no
fuck it
stupid piece of shit
i've got to get busy
but there's nothing i have energy to do


I think it was till July 16, so there's still time not to download the app to update the data. Then prolly commission for being medically unfit and my mother already had threatened that after that NEETdom would be over. Somehow I even forget about that scenario in the past.


don't jerk off or have lustful thoughts for a month, then simply tap into that sperm energy in your balls. first time i did, felt like i was goku or some shit. i washed the dishes AND took a shower, that's how energized i was. currently collecting spermies for my next kamehame wave (cleaning my room and playing 5 minutes of a video game)


>i washed the dishes AND took a shower,
Hopefully not at the same time


At least that fag is not posting his gay posts


don't gaslight me sir.
>don't jerk off for a month
one month isn't gonna do anything
>no lustful thoughts
impossible. squelching them is feasible though. actually, if you don't deject them you'll end up jerking off, so nofap implies battling against lust
>tap into that sperm energy in your balls
sorry i don't do drugs
>felt like i was goku or some shit
never felt anything like that. never felt any benefits of nofap at all, even after months of nofap. i only do nofap to harden my will.
>i washed the dishes AND took a shower
wow wiz that sounds awful


i promised i would be productive and actually do something useful
12 hours ago


This but 12 years ago


I think they measure depending on how long the person lives before they finally succumb to death, how long their pain receptors work I suppose.




lol'd, it's quite funny that this guy being alive destroys his argument.


Piss jug broke. Mother declined to get a new one and started her crap about being normal whole providing examples like my cousin's fucker. Could've talk about normalfag filthy, scum and pronatalist ways including bashing that example, but didn't have time to remember ultrafast. Plus they don't have conscience regarding that either way.

Instead mentioned how my toys, drawings on a paper and a 5-year work in a form of 48-sheet copybook got thrown away. Forgot about books from my childhood. Of course, it's either denial of making, denial of harm level or belittling of harm. Like "I said sorry" and nothing more. Despite being explained all life and months beforehand, and no way out, completely destroyed without even checking every page plus other pages with a cross (like a checkmark) still made it seem still usable even despite mother's misunderstanding of the cross meaning. Noone checked shit. Mentioned it to say, if I buy a cup, don't throw it away or I'll do the same. Don't want to reach their low level, but no other choice.

Visiting local convenience store could be me first leaving my home in about 2 years, though I think I did opened the apartment building door slightly to see if the cat was outside once.


I suddenly thought about how different lives are for neurotypical people. I wonder if any of them actually had to put effort into speaking normally. Usually I don't care, but today it for some reason dawned on me. I feel so weird that I have to actually concentrate and be very careful when speaking to keep my pitch "normal", otherwise I speak like a book case autist. My pitch is entirely broken and my diction doesn't exist. For them it is something so easy, but for me it is a constant mental struggle. Also I have not even once succeed in actually faking normal speech, so I personally consider social masking a stupid joke, but I really don't want to put off people, not because I care about their opinion, but because 60% unironically think I'm crazy. Some even threatened to call psychic ward lmao.


Also it took me 20+ years to learn to speak fluently, when I was 13-15 years old my speech was so extremely ragged and unlistenable that when I taped my voice and listened to it I paled in horror


Happy post. I can't wait for WW3, i live in Europe near Brussels so i'm gonna be evaporated. What a death!! THE END. FINALLY!!!! COME ON PUTIN!! YOU HERO!!!


Luxembourg ?


I keep looking for a place to fit in
Where I can speak my mind
And I've been trying hard to find the people
That I won't leave behind

They say I got brains
But they ain't doing me no good
I wish they could

Each time things start to happen again
I think I got something good going for myself
But what goes wrong

Sometimes I feel very sad
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Ain't found the right thing I can put my heart and soul into)
Sometimes I feel very sad
(Ain't found the right thing I can put my heart and soul into)

I guess I just wasn't made for these times


Belgium. Things are looking grim by the day, i wonder if the young usa wizkids will fight when they get drafted? Maybe find purpose in fighting, who knows.


>Get severely mentally ill
>shut myself in my room for weeks
>Dad insists I come out to see relatives for breakfast
>barely any sleep for days, depersonalized, fucked the entire time
>because I'd been heavily drinking over the previous few days, had to go toilet a lot
>sit back at the table at the cafe
>think I see white birdshit on my hands
>loudly cry out "yuck, a bird has shat on me"
>awkward moment
>suddenly realize I hadn't wiped my ass properly and it was my own shit

That's done it, I'll never talk to or speak to any relative there at that table again. Everyone tried to defuse the situation making out it was okay, or whatever else. But I'm at the level of a Chris Chan retard now it seems, I've been forgetting things for a while now and I notice when I write there's sometimes words missing. All this drinking and no sleep is catching up on me.

But beyond that, it's not that I'm worried they'll mock me for it. I'm just worried I'll be seen that way, that I'll have to forever witness people washing their hands after interacting with me, or questioning themselves around me. I'm sick of being dragged to family gatherings, guilted into going, just to be this depersonalized schizo staring out into space. People say it's alright, and it's probably alright. But I'd rather be alone in life than seen that way.

I've lost so much dignity over the years being dragged out to shit when I'm not well, being pushed to work when I'm not well. I just added up the hundreds of days of misery I've experienced just suffering through some shit I'll apparently feel better through when I'm there, just to repetitively make a fool of myself.


you're not mentally ill, you're just a braindead alky drunkard that's so wasted he can't even wipe his ass properly. wizards don't go out to "cafes", lurk more before posting. crying about spending a couple weeks in your room is another big tell that you're a normalfag tourist, down in the dumps because he overdid his drugs and gave himself brain damage.


"Normalfags" hole up in their room, shit their pants, are drunk and disoriented 24/7?

Get a reality check. And I'm not that poster


yeah, druggie and alky normalfags do. i'm in my room 24/7 because i can't handle going outside emotionally at all. all their psychological issues come from abusing substances and consequent brain damage.

don't think that just because someone has a sad story and a reason to be depressed, that he actually fits in here. lots of normalfags treat this place as a depression resort, asking for suicide advice and coming here to wallow in self-pity before bouncing back. he won't even answer this because he's already gone, he's a classic tourist. i've been here for so long i can easily detect them lol


It's not hard to buy alcohol, and it's common to have family insist you come out (I really should be more thankful)


Anyone just get homicidal urges to kill their parents? They pretty much set me up to fail and it's hard to act on the impulse.


>oh he's depressed
>oh it's just an angsty teenager phase
>he wants to die
>oh it's just a phase
>he grew up and didn't kill himself
>oh it must mean he stopped wanting it because it was just a phase
I'll phase my way out of this living fucking hell eventually as I should have ages ago, I went from not wanting to live to not wanting to exist into not wanting to die because I hate people so much that thinking about the idea that once I die that my soul might become one with the souls of other people that I despise, it makes me want to become a living vegetable, and I'm well on my way to that as well. I hate everyone and everything so much that I don't even want to say anything because if I end up talking, I'll be having some type of connection to people which implies that I want to talk to them, when in reality I just want to off myself.


Getting drafted and dying in war as a "sacrifice" for a society that doesn't give a fuck about you / considers you lesser - to protect normalfags and femoids is disgusting and pure evil. I'd rather kill myself or go to jail.


Sometimes I get tired of being the problem.

I'll lie to myself and "fake it until I make it", but the crushing reality of having no one to talk to, constantly standing around like a dipshit when around other people because no one thinks I'm interesting enough to talk to. Have fun with your faggy cliques you supposed Ubermenchs of society. Oooh look at me and my fancy job and education.

>"Oh why are you leaving, anon? We totally want you to stay"

Yeah fuck you. Just WAITING for me to be vulnerable so you can squish me like a fly for being some spergy loser.

>inb4 "shut up fakecel failed normalfag gtfo"

Fuck you and die faggot I'm still trying. I'm posting here so obviously everything isn't "all right" with me. One of our family friend's is really going through it. Cycles of binge drinking and smoking. Manages to hold on to a gf, so that's good for him. I wonder how he's feeling. I hope he doesn't also post here.


Why did I have to be so fucking ugly? I don't even care about getting succubi, I just want to go outside without people staring at me like I'm some sort of monster. I have been living hiding from the world for most of my life. I have been depressed since I was in my early teens, now I'm in my mid 30's and I feel like depression is finally winning the fight.


Don't, a lot of young zoomers are killing their parents and it's creepy and weird. Yeah they fucked you over but chill out, just wait for inheritance because they won't be there forever, appreciate your parents and the simple life you have.


Same but with being short, literally people always belittle me and treat me like shit or never take me seriously. I wanna be super tall big and strong and fucking kick everyone ass, i'm tired of being a weak pussy


It's a fact of life I would never have been bullied if I was jacked and 6'4 instead of my current skinnyfat 5'3 form.

In fact I've tried working out ever since I was 15 and my genes don't even allow me to put on muscle mass.


>my genes
Fuck off. Unless you have a one-in-a-million disease, your genetic makeup is never a hindrance to building muscle. Furthermore, there are libraries worth of stories about tall, large framed men being picked on all the same as short skeletons such as yourself. Why would you think being 6'4"+ meant things would be different for you? Would you have looked at yourself better, and therefor treated yourself better, and therefor carried an attitude that wouldn't be so receptive to bullying? Why not just adopt this attitude anyway?


Not him, but it's scientifically proven that tall people are treated with more respect.


>tall men get picked on too, yknow
>height doesn't matter it's just about attitude
Fuck off and leave this site, disingenuous fag. You will never be a wizard while denying reality and facts.
I won't even bother citing the myriad of studies that demonstrate how short wizards get the short end of stick and get bullied for their height and even suffer pstd from it that affects the rest of their lives.


Moron. By virtue of being larger and stronger than 99% of the population, most bullies just back off. They pick soft targets, their worst fear is being beaten by the person they attack, which would completely humiliate them in front of their peers.

I got constantly picked on in school for being smaller than other students, even succubi.


Things have been getting worse and worse in general and I’m sadder now than a year ago, I think I posted before about taking a loan and just spending it all and then killing myself.

I think I will just do that, I don’t know exactly when but Im sure that this is what will happen eventually, it’s probably a fact at at this point.

I’m just waiting for my breaking point, and honestly I hope that it’s soon, going out with a bang is what everyone here should do.


I would probably change places with your dad if I could anon, lately I’ve been feeling envious of my grandparents that are both dead, at least they don’t have to suffer everyday like I do.


5'3 as a man isn't great. You're about as tall the average succubus if not a bit shorter.6'4/6'+ in general are less likely to get bullied unless they're ugly, deformed, mentally ill, etc. As a shorter guy building muscle/strength is easier but you'll be seen as a "coper".


Nice bait, i've been bullied by both men and succubi, even succubi straight up always mentioning im short all the time and always reject me. But tall dudes were so respected and glamourized in school and always had gf or friends. It's just natural selection, people don't like weak and inferior people, only thing you can do is hangout with other inferior people and get away from normalfags.


why the fuck isn't this site fixxed yet

>succubi straight up always mentioning im short all the time and always reject me
>reject me
Rejecting how? Are you flirting with them or something?

Crazy how anytime someone reminds us that being "bullied" as an adult doesn't mean jack shit, the butthurt pajeet crabs crawl out of the bayou to holler stuff like
Delusions of the overly self-conscious should be kept to themselves as to not promote such a dangerous mindset.


So that faggots like you who deny the real experiences and suffering of wizards have a hard time posting


nonono i didn't flirt or do anything, she just kept saying i was short and weird, i worded this wrong, i never even held hands, SPARE ME


File: 1719070799027.png (1.74 MB, 850x1202, 425:601, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

I want to draw so much but I'm poor and will never afford a decent drawing tablet. I'm a NEET in a poor country, the currency is toilet paper, there are no jobs that pay enough that I can afford it. It hurts so much, I'll never draw in my whole life. I wish I could express how much I love drawing, I wish I could do nothing but draw all day every day, like 14 hours a day. Maybe it doesn't matter, I tried drawing on paper with a pencil for like 5 minutes one day and I sucked at it, worse than anything that has been ever posted on /ic/, I have only drawn for like 20 minutes in my whole life but I think maybe I don't have the talent and I'm a retard that cant't learn but still I wish I could at least try it and see if I can do it. Drawing is the only thing that really picks my interest, I wish so much I could draw beautiful things and share my ideas and so on. I also wish I could make music but I don't know where to even start, I'm musically illiterate, and instruments and equipment are all expensive too anyways. It's all just unrealistic pipe dreams for a subhuman like me but it hurts so much and I wish so much it were possible. I don't care about anything else, I just spend all day every day agonizing about how much I wish I could draw but can't because I'm poor. It hurts thinking of all the things I wish I could draw.
This life is over, there's no point in trying anything anymore, everythin went wrong and there's no fixing it. I just wish I could reincarnate after I die, I wish I had another chance. I feel like I didn't live my own life, I didn't get to "be myself", this life was a disaster so I wish I could reincarnate to try again. I think it's not my fault that I ended like this, there are a lot of things that happened beyond my control, I think my case is different and I can't fit everything into a single post, I just wish I had another chance, I didn't really have a chance, so I wish I could reincarnate or go back in time to when I was like 3 years old and start over from zero. If possible I wish I could reincarnate back in time in this era, the 2000s and 2010s, I really like this period. It doesn't matter. It seems impossible to translate what I feel and think into words. I really suck at English, at languages in general. I wish there were a god or an angel that saw everything that ever happened and knew how I feel. I'll just take it to the grave.


Was going to post this somewhere else but it’s a waste of time :

I don’t kill myself because of family, and it’s a shit fucking life. I’ve been suicidal for 22 years, I became fully accepting of suicide being right for me and ready to die 13 years ago. I have multiple disabled family members and blah blah they have shit lives, my now sick mother tried hard for me and I turned out barely able to function while wanting to blow my brains out. I’m objectively useful and suicide would break them beyond their already crappy hand in life, and even then when things get too bad I can be a negative force in people’s lives and it’s debatable whether suicide is the lesser of evils; those days are tempting.

I’ve been trespassing in an existence that should have ended decades ago. Trying for years and getting nowhere. I’ve lived a life I never should have and I would throw it away in an instant, I have had nice times, I have had nice experiences with family, and I would not have cared if I’d killed myself 20 years ago and missed out on all of it. If my family weren’t involved it would have been the right decision to.

Not killing yourself for family just freezes you on the ledge, stops you from jumping. It doesn’t actually give you anything, there’s no waking up and realising your family loves you and that’s some life changing event. Values and meaning are just luck if they create anything other than years of drudgery where you can’t even tell people the reason you are alive, living lies pretending you want something here.

It doesn’t matter though, this is what we are condemned to. There is peace when the universe kills us and it’s out of our hands and sense of responsibility. I really am tempted to just do it when my mum dies, do I really need to stick around for my brothers. We will see won’t we.


The thing is, the universe is just this chaotic arbitrary sandbox game. Like you I trespassed and extended my life well beyond my years, I should have naturally died at around age 18-20.

Then for inexplicable reasons the world decided to give me money at age 35 from dumb risk taking, so much of it that I rarely worry anymore.
And reconnected with childhood friends before that.

Some health issues fixed themselves instead of me decaying further and further.
Sometimes life does get better with time, but not because some arbitrary judge is doling out justice; It can simply happen due to pure dumb luck.

Outside third world hellscapes, nobodys fate is sealed. Everything is in a constant potential flux, upset or radical change. Even the life of a permanently depressed ghost who was supposed to end it decades ago.


back at my fathers, living in absolute squalor with bugs, heat, crying children, filth everywhere, roaches everywhere, dilapidated walls, 2 hours of sleep a night, constant noise starting at 7 am not ending until 2 in the morning, people up at night walking around, drunk rednecks everywhere.

maybe i should just kill myself?


currently hearing a dude violently vomiting at 8 AM in the morning.


did you move on?

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