[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
Email
Comment
File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]   [Catalog]   [Return]   [Archive]

 No.291261

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>290006

 No.291263

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?
O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.
But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.
Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.
They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.
But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.
All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying,
He trusted on the LORD[b] that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him.
But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts.
I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother's belly.
Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.
Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round.
They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion.
I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.
My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death.
For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet.
I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me.
They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture.
But be not thou far from me, O LORD: O my strength, haste thee to help me.
Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog.
Save me from the lion's mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.
I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee.
Ye that fear the LORD, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel.
For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.
My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him.
The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever.
All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.
For the kingdom is the LORD's: and he is the governor among the nations.
All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul.
A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the LORD for a generation.
They shall come, and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born, that he hath done this.

 No.291267

I'm gonna quit my job
I can't do this
Dealing with normies while working in a fucking factory is a pain in the ass
2 months and half were maximum I could put up
All the money I made were spent on food because I'm depressed. Mom already provides me food. So why am I working anyway?

 No.291271

>>291267
Same situation. I had a psychotic episode and lost my job. Now I live at home and my parents don't bother me about it. I eat their food and stare at the wall all day. Like a dog or a cat.

 No.291272

I learned today that my father is terminally ill and will die in the coming week. I don't know what to do. I have been having a mental breakdown

 No.291276

File: 1713276667960.jpg (4.24 MB, 3120x4160, 3:4, IMG_20240416_104154_667.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Tonight at dawn
I have literally nothing to lose

 No.291279

suicidal urges started again basically as soon as I started therapy which I was forced into by my parents. I know it's because my parents are expecting the end result to be me as a normalfag wage slave. The idea of that being my goal again just makes me want to rope myself because I know I can't do it. When I could just sit here comfortably and get high watching TV and browsing chans I could imagine tolerating the rest of my life like that and the suicidal urges went away. The problem is that this is not sustainable long term, not unless my parents agree to it and have enough money for it which I doubt. Any time I need something I will have to rely on them. The shame will never go away. So really what to do, to try to be a normie wage slave even though I know I can't and it will be torture when I try or just sit back and neet it up for as long as I can get my parents to support me for?

 No.291282

>>291276
There are better ways to do it, I hate when people suffer needlessly

 No.291284

>>291279
>get high

Yeah, therapy isn't going to bring back all the brain cells you killed off with your drug abuse. It's over.

>>291282
No backseat suiciding. If you know a better method, then use it yourself.

 No.291285

>>291282
drop hanging would be my way. Good chance it breaks your neck and you die instantly. Otherwise you just strangle to death. Blood loss to the brain should happen fairly quickly so you go unconscious. It would be a very unpleasant 5 seconds as you feel your neck massively fucked up and then you fade to black. I think I would duct tape my hands together before I jump off the branch to resist the urge to fight it if it doesn't break my neck. I'm not sure what knots I would use to secure the rope to the tree branch though.

 No.291286

File: 1713287821067.png (278.83 KB, 412x578, 206:289, 1700760364690.png) ImgOps iqdb

I wish I was smart

 No.291287

Grandpa is showing signs of dementia. Mom probably won't want to send him to an old folk's home (which I don't really blame her for, as they're awful in my country) and dad doesn't give a fuck.
It almost makes me want to get a job, at I won't have to be around him all day and won't be expected to take care of him. But then I remember that the only jobs I can get are dead-end minimum wage ones and that thought disappears.
Sorry about the blogpost. I have to vent or else I'll go crazy.

 No.291288

>>291287
why is your dad an asshole to grand pa?

 No.291289

>>291288
Dad's not an asshole to him, he'll raise his voice, but won't do anything else, for the most part he's indifferent.
Grandpa is an alcoholic who can't do anything properly. He smokes indoors making part of the house smell like shit, forgets burning cigarettes on the edge of furniture.

 No.291290

>>291289
you should do sole activities with grandpa, what do you think of it?

 No.291291

>>291282
Any recommendations?

 No.291301

File: 1713352760179.png (16.36 MB, 2204x3058, 1102:1529, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

sorry for all the posts. i wanted to say something but i cant. ill just keep it to myself and take it to the grave.
its very embarrassing. im very mentally ill. hopefully ill start getting better. nevermind and sorry.

 No.291308

File: 1713378707351.png (153.21 KB, 396x455, 396:455, 45794579457947.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>291291
nta but I have that old paper if that might help you
idk how accurate or reliable it is

 No.291321

File: 1713402179106.jpg (212.36 KB, 858x1088, 429:544, 1422081377473.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I got banned for 1 year.
I googled how to evade bans and nothing worked, so I kinda gave up and stopped even lurking here.
Remebered it just now and came back just to say FUCK YOU JANNIES!
I never did anything bad, why rangeban me just because my countrymen are assholes? Seriously fuck you.

 No.291327

>>291301
I hope i too will start getting better soon.

 No.291354

Just came back from the store and saw that I got distracted halfway through trimming my facial hair off. Damn I feel quite chagrined.

 No.291359

File: 1713492939030.jpg (387.97 KB, 1200x800, 3:2, Dirk-Dzimirsky-artwork-2.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

i hate living with roommates. some people are so filthy and inconsiderate its unbelievable. now i have to take time out of my day to do what their parents failed to in properly raising them.

 No.291364

>>291261
This album is the definition of Depression and Suicide. It's literally so fucking depressing

 No.291365

>>291308
>agony
How to measure agony if the person dies? Like, shotgun to head method, surviving person said: 'Well, actually it didn't really hurt, just a little sting, would do it again anytime'. Same with getting hit by a train.

 No.291374

>>291364
Joy Division's two only albums are perfect.

 No.291376

I am literally overdue. My life should have ended years ago. This is fucking ridiculous. And if it wasn't for my brain still making me feel ill, it would be really beautiful. I keep on having theses beautiful feelings of just being, being here, like fuck you universe, I am still here. And all the same I hate being, I think life is a mistake, a punishment, a fraud. But let's be honest. People that think they have nothing to lose are the biggest assholes around. They are actually awful persons by definition, even worse than fanatics and terrorists, who have a similar complex. So I have something to lose, it's the sense of being. But that's fine. Being humble is all right. My life sentence is served. And none of this helps. Do you like being here? No. Nobody can. It's too much to deal with to expect to like it here. How ironic people say life is a present. A present to throw away. Then all these posts here on wizchan. All these somewhat clever and intelligent takes on history, psychology, what it means to exist as we do. All that goes down the drain eventually. We are companions in suffering. But you are not my companion. You are just egoistic idiots, like me. You value the life of your mother, your father? Sure you do. And yet you are addicted to being alive. And yet you hate them for throwing you into this life. You do all of this at the same time. There is no difference here. You are not different from me, but you would never admit that. Which is fine. Everyone is completely isolated, solipsism is our forgotten reality we all deny and know that it's the truth.

 No.291387

File: 1713609725282.png (5.23 MB, 1603x2048, 1603:2048, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

sorry about my behavior. im very mentally ill. maybe ill change.
i wanted to say something but i cant and this is taking a lot of time so maybe ill just go. maybe i have a lot of things i want to say but maybe ill just keep it to myself and take it to the grave.
i cant communicate well. i dont know what i am supposed to say. it doesnt matter but sorry.

 No.291394

lol, my therapist just ragequit on me. I suppose my personality is so detestable that not even someone who is taking my money to talk to me will tolerate it.

 No.291396

>>291394
what you said you think made your psychatrist quit you lmao?

 No.291397

>>291394
What a shit therapist, his whole job is listening, if you can't do that you're a lousy therapist

 No.291398

>>291394
not always your fault, wizzie. it could just be that they have a full workload already, or they don't feel they have the ability to help you out with your particular issue. they should have given you a referral to another therapist tho.

 No.291400

>>291394
How do you even fall for such a scam?

 No.291407

>>291394
That happens quite often, actually. Most therapists won't even take 'difficult' or more 'broken' or socially incapable patients. Why? Because they have so many to chose from that they will only choose those that they are comfortable with. Therapists like easy work. Patients that don't want to eat shit and go the normalfag slave way are too much work for them.

 No.291411

File: 1713712315460.jpg (1 MB, 2560x1920, 4:3, 1702021920001486.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

My cat died yesterday, it had a stroke in my mom's room and just slowly stopped breathing. My mom was crying the entire time patting it but I honestly barely even cared; the poor thing had feline aids and was deathly skinny so I guess it's a good thing it's no longer in pain. It felt weird burying it, I had no intense feelings about it, just vague disappointment and apathy. I'm planning on relapsing on Heroin soon (after nearly 6 months) so I've been pumped about that as hard drugs are the only thing I've found that makes life tolerable - other than that, I've been smoking 3-7 cigs a day.

 No.291413

>>291411
Imagine feeding and loving a beast that could easily eat you alive if your size was proper to do so.

 No.291513

Apparently I'm selected to die. Not a big deal, but can't help feeling bad about it.

 No.291514

>>291513
Just throw a grenade at your superior officer and gta as far as you can go, keep one bullet to kys yourself for when caught

 No.291515

>>291514
Yeah gonna do precisely that.

 No.291520

Trying is frying.
Yeah pretty proud of this little rhyme. Gonna be my excuse for a while.

 No.291522

>>291267
Maybe you can still mess those normies for good, if they have been a problem to you, before getting fired. Think about some other wizards who could come after you, make the ground softer.

 No.291523

>25
>permanent heart damage suicide attempt at 20
>no one on earth
>don't have family that I talk to
>shut in
>may have had tuberculosis for five years since I was exposed to it at a mental hospital
>can't get it treated due to no transport, no money, no friends or family to help
>social anxiety so intense that I almost puked while talking to a cashier (first time I spoke to someone in 4 years) and ran out of the store forgetting my money and food
I hate living so much. I have had a wet cough for years that comes and goes. It could be from the heart failure, could also be TB. I have no options.

 No.291524

File: 1713923793253.jpg (152.47 KB, 720x697, 720:697, IMG_20240423_064108.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

One of good things that were said in this website

 No.291525

>>291413
>imagine if thing was other thing!!1!1
bravo wizzie

 No.291526

Knowing somebody has it worse does not help in the least. If anything, it makes it even worse, because you know you still have a good length to descend yourself on your way down.

 No.291527

>>291526
Why?
Is it your job to save them or something?

 No.291529

>>291527
No my job is self destruction.

 No.291546

>>291276
You allowed your enemies, who brought into this state to win. You off yourself instead of them.

Stay away from us

 No.291548

>>291546
Fuck off nigger and go mass shoot your fellow Americans as much as you like.

Suicide is a major victory, provided you do it for the reasons of maintaining your superiority, and not because you pity yourself too much. Not counting those too mentally ill, they live parallel reality and have their right to take the vacation anytime they fell it's time.

 No.291549

>>291526
What makes me happy that no matter how crappy my life becomes, eventually others will just be miserable like me soon enough. I fucking hate individualism and only caring for yourself until the time comes when assholes like this>>291527 loses everyone in their life.

 No.291551

Well generally speaking it could go better, but I suppose it's good enough anyway. I'd even call it too good if somebody explained me why I still give a shit, but let's agree, that's something you'll only ever figure on your own, that is, never.

 No.291553

>>291548
Well, it is better to finish your bullies than finish yourself! Sorry if this is too antiwoke for your ass!
>suicide is major blah blah
>suicide maintains superiority
Cuckery. And also hypocrite since here you are, alive and yelling shit.

 No.291554

>>291548
You normalfags are the biggest cucks.

 No.291555

>>291548
What good is "being superior" if you're dead?

 No.291563

>>291548
I think this is an israeli jew, judging by his uneasy english and unfailing drive to get gentile wizards to kill themselves.

 No.291565

>>291359
living through that shit rn i have to text my roommate to tell him to clean his shit like im his dad

 No.291567

>>291555
What is good in killing a dozen of fags if you afterwards kill yourself or get in prison?

 No.291586

You know, wizards, I have tried my best, but it seems I'm going to be back to wizchan soon enough again.

 No.291587

^ what did he mean by that? are we not on wizchan????

 No.291590

>>291587
I have tried my best to avoid being depressed, but it seems I am about to fail, so yeah, I'm one leg in /dep/ already, though threads here are not very appealing to me with their relentless discussions about succubi, social validation and being a failure. Year to year. The same fucking thing. This place is insane, but it's not like there are many other places to be depressed. Here we go again, so to say.

 No.291604

>>291590
are the failed normies making you upset? man, when i am not mentoring them i just mock them for their mania

 No.291606

>>291604
Yeah but sometimes you have that crippling bout of depression when you feel nauseous and literally feel your stomach wringing. When in this state your tolerance is below zero and even benign asshole makes you feel so unbearably bad you want to vomit your life for good. I can't really meaningfully explain in, but sometimes I feel too shit and these kinds of people we talk about are not helping at all.

 No.291608

File: 1714148918226.png (1.58 MB, 1500x750, 2:1, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

sorry for my behavior. im very mentally ill. maybe ill change. it doesnt matter but sorry.

 No.291610

>>291608
My wiz you're still here. I've wondering about what becomes of you while I was away from wizchan. I feel your posts very much, because while I don't seem to have (at least it's not immediately apparent) schizophrenia, I am stuck in the exactly same loop as you. I just try to do some shit that's supposed to make me happier, but I always end up more and more miserable. And the more desperate my attempts are the more devastating my failures. It is so fucking frustrating. I wish you learn to life such that your desires do not fail you.

 No.291611

>>291608
Even the pictures you choose. Sometimes I really feel like you wiz has been the closest poster to me out there, but I know that probably we're one hell of a difference.

 No.291612

You know, wizards, every time you think something is a lie, check yourself, and remember that it was not a lie, but it was you who believed in something, that isn't. Do not believe in anything. Do not expect anything. And you will not be disappointed. Don't believe me? I'm at it and going to figure it out. I am not certain yet, but it seems I will try to do that. I don't know. But if I ever succeed, I'll tell you, so whoever has ears hears me.

 No.291619

>>291611
>>291610
I get what he's writing too. Normaltards can't understand the feeling.

 No.291637

I have headache.

 No.291662

Headache is gone, the emptiness in my soul is still present though. I feel somewhat weird, but there is no helping it, so it seems like I'm going to wipe this thread again with my relentless woes. Or maybe I'll find the strength to check myself, after all it would be worth suicide if I haven't learnt a single thing after all those efforts at not being depressed.

 No.291667

I am a ukrainian wizard. Most likely I'm gonna end up in the army soon enough. The new mobilization law forces fighting age males to go to the complectation center to renew their personal info which means getting drafted if not outright then in the observable future. It can't be avoided. You have 60 days to do it, otherwise serious fines and some other issues.
The other day I already received a notice from the military that I need to go there and get my shit in order there. I am planning to go there at the end of next month and come what may. There won't be any other option anyway.
In truth, I've been hoping for such outcome for the last half a year. I won't have to experiment with roping or cutting or seek some other way to rush towards the exit. I will have access to a gun and my relatives won't be as hurt. I won't be remembered as a loser who just offed himself for no observable reason, but as a poor soul consumed by the fires of war. Plus I will leave them my flat, so they will be kinda reimbursed for the trouble.

I should feel at peace knowing that whatever happens next is outside my control. But the waiting is hard to bear. What ifs, what ifs, what ifs…

 No.291668

>>291667
Fucking run, Jesus Christ it's not a coward way to survive for yourself instead of dying for rich pricks. Run as far as you can or do anything to get the fuck out of that country.

 No.291669

>>291668
>run

I have a broken brain. No running away from that.
Even if I wanted to, the borders are closed and well-guarded and there is no escape from being a male citizen of Ukraine.

 No.291670


 No.291671

>>291667
Exactly the same situation, exactly the same feelings. It seems like I should have made peace with dying long ago, but prolonged wait of death just makes this shit insanely hard to bear mentally. Sometimes I just with a missile fucking landed in my house and saved me the trouble.

 No.291674

>>291671
Надеюсь, все это скоро кончится, брат по несчастью.
I hope our suffering will end soon enough.

 No.291698

After 10+ years of barely leaving my room I drank one gulp of alcohol to have the courage to reply to a job vacancy near my home (to sit alone in the corner and sell stupid shit, miserable salary)
They asked for my short resume and asked many questions (i made up some lies)
Waited while sweating and shaking
They said I'm too old (i'm 35) and have little experience
The end.

 No.291701

File: 1714406078991.mp4 (1.1 MB, 320x540, 16:27, tisza-river-escape.mp4) ImgOps iqdb

>>291669
>>291671
can you make it to the border?

 No.291705

>>291698
Wait until stress level lowers and try again elsewhere. You will succeed.

 No.291708

>>291698
there's a specific antidepressant that makes people really confident as a byproduct. I'm having trouble finding it, but there are much better options than booze for this

 No.291709

>>291705
Thank you for your words.
I replied to a dish washing job vacancy, maybe they will reply in the morning.
>>291708
I avoid pharma products, but such specific stuff requires prescriptions most likely.

 No.291712

>>291701
Why bother? I am suicidal anyway.

 No.291713

>>291712
"Escaping" in the Europe is not going to help anyway. Europe is the same shithole, just looks prettier, basically glorified slavery, because the only difference is that you are not whipped to force you to work. It is just brutally over for us.

 No.291718

Fucking leave me be! Take away that bullshit of you, stupid normalfag monkeys! Damn, how is that possible that someone be so unbelievably stupid? They are not just braindead, they have no fucking brain cells at all. And their retardation has this funny way of living rent free in your head. Normalfags were a huge mistake.



[Go to top] [Catalog] [Return][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]