No.305312
Starting to consider the possibility that I am not a loser because of some cool mental illness but because I am lazy and addicted to the computer
No.305315
>>3053034chan b becoming a porn thread board was already broken, old b wasnt like that. Traps were a big part of 4chan culture from the start of 4chan, probably the only place online you would come in to contact with them in the 2000s.
Modern Troon obsession is political and cultural. I grew up on 4chan with traps as a cute meme where people would laugh and didn’t hate them, I have no association with them as a threat to my “world” or sense of being in the world.
Compare that to modern chan nerds who have thought about and talked about trannies their entire adult life. Average 18 year old has been exposed to modern internet since they were 9 years old, they have thought about trannies more times than theyve eaten food.
While the arguments of it becoming political, philosophical, and more of a force in the world - the complete obsession and emotional reliance on the concept of trannies as the big bad is because of modern internet retardation and the soulless meaningless culture it has produced.
No.305316
>>305315I dont really like trannies or traps, and I never liked how it only ever goes one way (men dressed as succubi) instead of the other (succubi dressed as men). But I do agree, tranny hate seems to come from an inferiority complex and fetish from most people. It feels forced. There are good reasons to hate trannies (legal monopoly, special protections, etc.), but transgenderism as a concept kills itself.
No.305326
>>305315>>305316Trannyshit both pro and anti is a psyop. Just a non issue magnified by the media to stress people out. Now it's indians, later ""people"" will be making Iranjaks because they're bad or whatever
No.305331
>>305315>4chan b becoming a porn thread board was already broken, old b wasnt like that.Did he say that /b/ was a porn board? It was still usable in the very beginning of the 10s until phone posting started becoming more prominent. That doesn't mean /b/ didn't have porn threads.
>I grew up on 4chan with traps as a cute meme where people would laugh and didn’t hate them>cute memeNow I know you're a newfag. It was a just a joke that didn't go far beyond "bridget is actually a guy" because he's drawn like a literal succubus and threads where'd they cut off the bottom of shemale pics and trick anons into jerking off to trannies.
Now it's infested almost everything nerd. Tons of modding communities and projects get derailed because of them.
No.305337
>>305312Have you considered that mental illness and lazynes and poor impulse control are all rooted in the same problem?
No.305343
wait wait does everywiz have an autistic father? an autistic bloodline somewhere? cuz that makes the whole picture epic, you're not just an unlucky guy, in terms of a fantasy setting you're the guy with the goblin blood that ran in his family for a hundred years!
No.305345
>>305337Underdeveloped prefrontal cortex? Dysregulated stress response? I did consider that. It's just less acceptable both socially and in terms of self-worth if you fail because of something common that everybody also struggled with as opposed to a rare mental condition that you only get due to bad luck.
No.305346
>>305345>less acceptableless acceptable how? they magic your problems away? no, so they're just gonna bitch and moan then leave you alone
No.305347
>>305346>they magic your problems away?If your problems involve how others or yourself judge yourself then it actually solves that problem.
>nooo you have to be stone cold wizard who don't care about other people like meIf you had ever avoided other people because you don't like what they say or do then you care about other people. You can rationalize how little you care on a cognitive level but your stress response and amygdala activation don't lie. Ironically someone who doesn't care about what other people think like the "truwizards" here claim they do would be an extrovert monster since they would feel comfortable and confident in the presence of other people. Maybe a "stone-cold truwizard" wouldn't feel the need to seek out other people but they wouldn't feel a need to avoid them either.
No.305348
Just putting this out here, I need to stop this certain behaviour which kills all my time weakens my immune system and deletes my capacities for regeneration. I'm not doing myself a favour with this. Even simply watching porn and be done with that is better. I'm making a cut here. Life is annoying either way but I can always choose the path which is less annoying.
No.305349
>>305347>If your problems involve how others or yourself judge yourself then it actually solves that problem.your problems always include the external judgment at least because you e.g. get your food from there. no amount of cratering to niggers will solve that though, because this problem doesn't have a solution. you're always gonna be judged and unless you're some super witty chad that judgment isn't gonna be in your favor.
>your stress response and amygdala activation don't liekek do you even know what you're talking about? you only care about what other people say to you because you're a little wizkid who doesn't have enough self awareness to understand what it means when somebody says something to you.
>would be an extrovert monsterthat's called sigma gigawiz.
>stone-cold truwizardwhat a load of crap. i'm not talking about your stone cold boner, i'm talkinh about enlightenment. are you enlightened? no you're not. meditate on it. look into your amigdala.
No.305350
>>305349I am starting to think the sigma male truwiz posts are all made by one person
No.305352
>>305350nope i've seen at least a couple of other enlightened gigawizs out here. what a shame the only place we have yo go to is full of crabs who can't process external judgment.
No.305369
I just had a targeted advert for schizophrenia on youtube and now I've been awake all night paranoid.
No.305371
I had another bizarre dream, there was a prison and depending on the severity of the crimes inmates would have parts of their genitals removed. Like:
light crime = circumcision
medium crime = castration
heavy crime = complete removal of both cock and balls
this was just a dream and there is no methaporical meaning, it was just brutal punishment, has nothing to do with wizardry or "crabs" or troons
No.305378
I'm a ghost. The world moved on long ago.
No.305410
>>305409I dunno man, as someone barely functioning now who used to have friends and a decent career. I used to feel the same way, but I lost all that shit and it's just a way worse hell.
You have a good thing, you have what I lost.
No.305445
i know wizs get angry at complains like this, but when mom tries to spend the money i don't have and she doesn't earn to make *me* appear as a decent man, it kills me inside. she just rolls hysterics until i cave in because i can't move out. if i looked shitty but had the money she throws away i'd already be able to afford tons of cool useful staff instead of being a cool looking cashier or some other dead end worker. so fucking stupid
No.305446
>>305445stuff*
also wanted to triple stress "me" but spoilered it instead lol
No.305451
>>305446>>305446random advice: Salvation Army, disco70s/synthwave80s
say you got some kewl r3tr0 stuff "financed" from a nice store in other town
boom. style = covered
make sure to get a nice synthwave album or two or more. IDK, its just a random advice
No.305452
>>305445learn to tie a tie
this will make her quieter.
A have a hif on tying a ridiculously easy knot, but…
No.305453
>>305452here it is
https://joyreactor.cc/post/5462321(the gif, not the highlited pic)
No.305511
>>305509>shouldn't People on their death bed regret mainly two things: that they would have had spent more time with their loved ones and that they would have had been more violent, more truthful, to their own ideas and positions. I'm not telling you what you should do except making you notice that you don't need to care so much about what you should do and care more about what you are and start giving some respect for yourself.
No.305512
>>305509shiiiiiiit. Happens to me sometimes.
No.305523
>>305509It sucks. Were you drunk?
I drank too much on Chrismas and revealed my power level, blabbing all night about the filthy jew scumbags. Suffice to say I woke up hungover and anxious beyond any description
No.305524
I can't escape the pain
No.305526
Is there anyway I can stop giving thought to retardly irrelevant stuff and people (that I don't even know, futhermore) and overcome apathy for things that truly matter?
No.305527
I had yet another bizarre dream. I was at a nightclub and like 5+ people started harassing and bullying me. I confronted them and they said "the guy in the taxi outside is doing this to you". I went outside looking for it and somehow people wanted me to go back in, but I kept refusing. Then suddenly all the normies in the world decided to commit mass suicide, there was no logic behind it, they were just panicking and following each other unto death. The streets were filled with corpses from people who had jumped outside of windows. I was one of the few people left who had managed to keep their sanity
No.305528
>>305511>would have had spent more time with their loved ones and that they would have had been more violent, more truthful, to their own ideas and positions.1. violent → ruthless
2. These two kinda contradict one to another. You cannot be ruthless achiever AND "lotsa time with loved ones!"
And having a spouse (and inlaws too) who share your
>ideas and positionsis hard to get
No.305529
>>305528sorry to break it on you but you're delusional.
No.305531
>>305524oh by the way while i'm at it, i shall tell you that after some years of unending emotional pain i accepted it as a part of life and now i'm not bothered by being unable to escape it anymore. like, when i suffer the worst that can happen is me missing a night's sleep due to whatever the fuck is happening in my head. sure it's sort of distressing but it no longer makes me want to kms. idk just trying to give you hope
No.305532
>>305528You're probably too young to understand that these two don't contradict each other at all and that being truthful to yourself does not equal ruthless.
No.305533
>>305532to be fair violence often goes along with cruelty and cruelty is a cope and cannot be qualified as being 'truthful to yourself', because if you are wiz enough to be truthful to yourself you'll know that cruelty is never called for.
it's the same as with overprotective mothers. love's good but the way it's taken to extreme is bad. violence too is kinda unavoidable but if it's taken to the extreme of cruelty you get what you get i guess
No.305535
>>305527Brain being a piece of shit as usual. You've probably doomscroooolled a bit too much and it tried to cook the information salad in your head.
I have fucked up dreams as well.
I've been having one particular scenario of primordial 'evil' chaos. Distorted faces fill the eternally liminal spaces, screaming of damnation. Waking up feeling grateful for this existence as a human and not a victim of that dimension. For a day at least.
No.305555
20 years since I started reading about stoicism. Reading philosophy and pop-science books about building habits as a teenager. Theology, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, fitness, all didn’t touch my dysfunction.
It’s been 2 decades and I’ve done all I could to try and feel ok. I’ve gotten nowhere. I’m worse than when I began. No great lessons just a grinding tediousness.
No.305556
Almost every franchise that I liked growing up is now popular with subhuman normalfags. They are like locusts.
No.305557
>>305556Wrong place, wrong time.
No.305558
>>305555Nice quads.
That's not surprising, living accordingly to the rules and teachings of some over hyped religion, self-help ideology or some other fixed thought system doesn't work for a mind which is absolutely by itself and seeks its very own omissions independent of linguistic and cultural manifestations.
No.305566
Gray skies cast cold light on walls
Reflecting brightly, blinding–
Colourless mirrors of colourless heavens
And a small man in between.
I'm doing my best here. I know things will get better "soon" and my imprisonment
is only temporary. I had a dream that I was resting my head on a pillow, which I
picked up and noticed had big clumps of dust on it, and then I was shaking the
pillow and trying to brush off all the dust. I guess that's my life here, more
or less: dusty old comforts. As long as I keep busy, it's not so bad, after all.
No.305574
>>305556A lot of my favorite media got hijacked by retarded gen-z kids and furries who spew their vomit onto everything. These people ruined my perception of whatever interests I had left and have since dropped them entirely. What a shame.
No.305592
>>304361Can't yearn for revenge, don't deserve it either. I brought this upon myself, now I have to take it like a man and face the consequence of my actions.
No.305644
The more I improve my life and overcome personal obstacles, the more attached I become to life and the harder loneliness hits. Isn't it funny how that works? You do what you're told to "get better", but it blows in your face and makes the good old escape Plan B (suicide) less feasible
No.305660
I keep trying to hang myself but backing out at the last moment
No.305662
>>305660Your body will fight till the last bit for oxygen, it will give you convulsions in the end, you need to knock your consciousness through drugs and alcohol.
No.305665
>>305660I hope your life gets better.
No.305667
>>305662Does it have to be drugs or alcohol specifically? I have tons of antidepressant blister packs and all kinds of meds — not sure if that would even work. I practice self-harm instead of using drugs or alcohol. I don’t like the taste or the effects of either.
No.305668
>>305660Are you doing partial suspension and backing out whilst hanging or are you trying to do a full suspension and not going through with it?