/dep/ - Depression

I found the God within and done with the trappings of life. What's there to do? Just waiting to die i guess. Also been plagued with infernal demons since walking the path of retaining. The cross actually helps. Maybe i'm going insane but i actually hear roars and knocking on my bedroom window. I always thought we are flesh and vanish. But it's much worse, this is hell.

>>304362
there's no blood on the knife

Can't Germany realize that it's more harmful to children and young people than degenerates posting shit on the Internet

>>304362
The Day of the Lord actually means your death day, not some event in the far future. The Holy Spirit saves if God wants to save you, from hellfire. All those prayers asking for mercy those orthodox guys do actually refers to their personal death.
I was getting sad with the commercialisation of Christmas (God's birthday), how atheists still celebrate it and how this must make God feel.
Will hang myself soon.

>>304366
>The Day of the Lord actually means your death day, not some event in the far future. The Holy Spirit saves if God wants to save you, from hellfire
>Bla bla abrahamic jew-christian hellenistic-zoroastrian-platonic lore one-god shit centered
You know that atheists celebrate Christmas out of mere routine and see it as a secular holiday centered around family and gifts, partly due to commercialization and mere tradition lacking religious significance, like other cultural equivalents that evolved naturally from "pagan" or non-jewish-christian winter solstice celebrations? Right?
Because Christmas is not the birthday of God or Jesus; they weren't even born on that day.
What's more, we don't even know if they exist or existed as religions portray them (and this is true of every prophet or religious hero, even pagans ones).

What's more, if you want to return to the ancient practices of astronomical observations and calendars of the “pagans” or shamans and primitive non-Abrahamic, non-Dharmic indigenous peoples, etc., it was the peak fertility event of the year and a reminder of life that would survive over long periods or as a change in the routine of survival that was approaching.
>Also
But yeah, its all about sandnigers, jews and bad nihilist shit for you.
Just enjoy the damn event.

>>304367
>Christmas is not the birthday of God or Jesus
Are you okay? maybe go visit a psychologist or take a walk or something

>>304371
Christmas was originally designed as the day the Devil celebrates anal raping your children. Since wizards can't have children I don't know why you bother. Just celebrate your weekend wow no wage slaving!!! Or maybe you're a crab.

>>304373
You're in bad company here, Jew.

>>304371
>25 december
>Birthday of jesus
Yep, its just replaced pagan fest by romans.
We dont know how and what time jesus born (if he existed, or them, the jesuses)

>>304379
hanukah and purim are pagan holidays too

>>304388
they both celebrate biblical events where pagans attempted to exterminate monotheists.

Shouting into the void. Jesus touching my shoulder. Psychosis around the corner. Existential dread ala Pessoa intruding my mind. Cold moon light shimmering in the dark. Do not fear, see the light. Believe but not believe. Cancel the moment embrace the fullness. Become aware but beware of self reference.

>>304399
Believe but not believe. I get this. I'm in this mode all the time. Also walk the path of semen retention and it's truly bizar how life gets. Looking beyond the veil and seeing how your perception alters your reality. Shamanic angelic demonic dreams most days and your aura is like the biggest ping. I think i'm still in the Qliphoth ritual i started years ago and just conquered the lust part. Away you go you demonic gods, for i need to see it to the end.

Wanted to whine on /dep/ like I always do but remembered a rude reply last time. Can't even have a safe space to vent on wizchan of all places. You could probably get more civil engagements posting about wizard struggles on normie social media nowadays.

>>304415
Yeah image boards are full of evil bitter niggers (many of them are sadly NEETs, who you'd think would be friends) who will attack you in a moment of weakness to satisfy their animal wicked desires. You are right that there is no security anywhere. You are honestly better off learning to keep inside. Become strong, then mog those losers for mocking you when you were weak. Wizardry is not equal being loser, remember.

Man I just don't feel anything lately. I went outside on the top of my roof at midnight looked at the sky and all but I didn't feel a thing, it was just "oh, that's a nice view". I don't feel anything, I'd rather be depressed than this apathy, at least I would feel a damn thing.

I just want to be happy. I always feel like something is wrong, as if I have a problem in my head that prevents me from feeling lasting happiness. The rare moments when I feel peace are pure bliss, and I always hope they last longer. But they never do… It's been like this since 2024. If only I could understand what's wrong with me.

>>304432
Early 20's. Gonna fix itself in 3-5 years.

My life has been fucked for a long time. At some points I thought it was hopeless. I now believe it's possible to start over. Sooner or later the effects of old mistakes will fade away. For the last year or so, I've been trying to get to a better place. I do a little bit every day. The rest of my energy is spent making the time pass as agreeably as I can. Nighttime is the hardest. Getting up in the morning is hard too. I often lack the courage to face the day. The key is to stay busy, always occupied with something. Make lots of little plans and go through them in order. Always have something to do next. I tend to feel that I haven't improved at my "core" but I can at least improve my "attributes." Even if I'm not satisfied with my situation, thinking back on the things I've done makes it feel like I'm not wasting my time. If nothing feels good, I can turn that on its head and say I won't be distracted by idle pleasures. Say I don't like to eat anything, then I can use that as an excuse to buy cheap, bland food, and maybe that money I saved will turn into something good later. Eventually every day ends and I count that as a win.

>>304434
Awesome strategy, wiz. The last time I tried to do that I lasted 2 or 3 days.

i hate being autistic in a normies world. 80% of my anguish comes from that and add. my neurotypical bother had no problem turning into a abusechad because of our fucked childhood but im as low as can be.

>>304445
Who convinced you that you were autistic? When did you get a diagnosis?

>>304446
i always knew that i was fucked in some ways. learned a couple of years ago that it has a name and is called 'autism' and 1-2 months ago got the diagnosis. It itself did not change a lot yet as i was prepared for it.

I wonder if I will ever fit in somewhere.

>>304450
You won't. So give up on that and finally get to doing something more rewarding than fitting in.

Existence is a cruel and eternal prison, and I am alone in it.
I am God, and there is nothing besides me, I am all that exists and there is nowhere to run, I cannot escape myself.
I cannot simply cease to exist because I am the basis of all existence, I have always existed and will always have to exist.

>>304455
As a Christian this post was one of the most disgusting things I have read in a while. I don't like this pseudo-Christian "Christ is within you" stuff too

>>304458
"A christian meets a schizo"™

everything is so much worse than 2007, and i was already suicidal in 2007

19 years already, my suicidal depression is all grown up and has kids of its own now.

>>304458
Noone cares about your dead-end religion nigger

>>304498
>>304498
Christianity has 1 billon+ followers alive today, admittedly some of them of questionable denominations. I get this feeling when I talk about my beliefs retards show up who think I am mindraping them or something by talking about my beliefs. atheists should build their own close-gated communities where they are safe from any expressions of religious beliefs

>>304499
Christianity doesn't have followers. I doubt there's 100 million people who read the scripture from cover to cover. Christianity just happened to find a way to exercise ruthless tyranny for something like 1000 years so its cultural impact will take a long time to wear off.

>>304458
literal quote of Jesus "the kingdom of God is within you"

The God within is the way to salvation. No doubt. Be good to yourself and you will find the path. It's pretty hard so i understand just gooning and giving up on everything and embracing the void.

>>304455
>I am alone in it
>there is nothing besides me, I am all that exists
You only wish, buddy. If only that was true then life would be much simpler. Unfortunately, there are billions of retards on this planet, sharing it with you, all ready to butcher you just because you are seen as a weirdo by them.

>>304500
You don't have to read the Bible to be considered as a christian, in fact the Church denied access to the Bible for many centuries, why? Because they realized the best cure against religion is simply reading its holy scripture. If someone reads the Bible from start to finish he usually realizes what a load of crap his religion is. Probably this hold true for all religions, I don't know.

Anyway, unfortunately the christian wiz is right, Christianity is still a thing, it's only dying in the West but in other parts of the world it is growing, especially in Africa which will be giving most of the world's population quite soon. Islam won't be able to stop Christianity, you can't get rid of Christianity with violence because it was designed exactly to be a religion of martyrs. The only thing that can kill of Christianity is if it gets too mainstream for a long time without any intellectual opposition, like it happened in western culture, then Christianity ends up its own destroyer eventually. Christianity if left unchallenged will end up creating inner contradictions which in turn will give birth to marxism (which is secular christianity, btw).

>>304511
and even Islam recognizes Jesus as the Messiah and his 2nd coming, which if you were in 100 AD most would call a sect of Christians

I want to die but I don't want to leave without leaving something behind and at the same time being always present in the scrutiny of everybody else memories.

Is this normal?

>>304516
want to die but I don't want to leave without leaving something behind and at the same time being always present in the scrutiny of everybody else memories give me anxiety. *

>>304512
It's all about the jews, unironically. Jews built this whole world more or less that we as "civilized" persons know. Jewish religions (Islam and Christianity), jewish stoicism, jewish psychiatry/psychology, jewish socialism (marxism), jewish capitalism, jewish fascism/natsoc (Hitler and his kin were inspired by medieval christianity more than anything), etc.

When you see Christians, Muslims and actual jews hating each other it's all about who are the ""real"" jews, in other words the successors of Abraham and the prophets, all 3 of them claim to be the true jews and hate each other for being false jews basically, it's really insane when you realize that you are just a puppet in a jewish world and there is nothing you can do against it.

going homeless and no food no water no toilets no place to sleep constant mental and physical agony. i will either kill myself or ? we'll see.

>>304519
Yeah even China had to build the wall around itself to save itself from jews. They'll conquer the world eventually. Unfortunately they really have higher IQ, maybe that's why they proclaimed themselves the favorite race of God Almighty. Hard to not do that when you're clearly so much smarter.

>>304519
I never heard of Jews inventing Stoicism, although it has a lot of slave morality, proto-christian ideas in the BC pre-Jesus. it even taught "love your enemies".

>>304526
>it even taught "love your enemies"
Yes, for all people should love each other. But unlike Christians, stoics also said that if war comes to war, you should go ahead and kill them.

>>304528
well in practice there hasn't been much christian pacifism in history, even before they took power in Rome, they accepted serving in the Pagan Army

All this discussion about religion is tiresome. The only person I know who believes in Jesus doesn't want anyone to know except very few people. People that defend their religion in public or online seem like LARPers or insufferable faggots, both religious fags and atheists.

>>304531
You're a hikikomori wizard so your sample size of 1 doesn't negate 2 billion christians.

>>304530
This isn't about just actions. Christians preach love, but do violence, thus are hypocrites. Stoics say if the time has come to kill, then kill, but do so with consideration and honor, for no thing is evil, but the intention. That may be a subtle difference, but still significant.

>>304534
Was just 1 billion a few posts ago.

I fucking hate Christianity for flooding my city with african refugees. I live in the middle of nowhere, well the fuck away from africa, and christian churches are doing that shit to me. It's the Presbyterian ones I think.

This is an angle I never see anyone attack Christians from, they're just fucking selfish people. They are so focused on trying to buy their own ticket to heaven, that Christians in these charities will sell out entire nations and peoples and try to mix up the world. Putting people here in danger, one of these seeded african nogs just stares at me so fucking aggressively at the park, like he's sizing me up.

Yet when I hit these Christians up about their shitty selfish practices, and say maybe they shouldn't do that shit. Suddenly I'm the bad guy, suddenly I'm the "racist". And they pull the holier than thou attitude.

Your god Jesus was a selfish arrogant piece of shit all through the gospels when you really actually read into them to find his personality. Don't get me wrong, I hate shitslam too, but there isn't this level of poisonous level of charity where you have to give away everything you have, and the highest aspiration isn't live like a fucking hobo like Christ. Islam at least has confidence, is a warrior religion, and their ummah fights for their people as people.

>>304534
I don't care if it's 7 billion because I think these are still insufferable faggots if they preach their stuff to others.

>parents want to spend christmas with their friends
>ask me to come with them
>they know I'm a mentally ill hikkikomori
>I have to explain that I am mentally ill to them once again
>strong feelings of wanting to kill myself afterwards

why the fuck do they do this? like they can just fucking gaslight me into not being deeply mentally ill?

>>304520
Just become a thief, at that point you have nothing to lose. At worst they will put you in jail for a short time, it'll either break you or make a man out of you, either way something interesting will happen to you at least.

>>304522
Jews already rule the world, been like that since the romans took up christianity as their official religion. Nothing we can do at this point, to be frank. The jew's biggest enemy isn't the aryan but another jew, their infighting will cause their destruction (and that of the whole world too, in the process). Just sit back and enjoy it.
>China
Chinese the are East's jews, basically. They creep around, trying to find a way into every culture and to establish business there, sounds familiar? I mean I live in some insignificant little town in some insignificant little 2nd world country and there are chinese shops and chinese people setting up business even here! The yellow plague, indeed. I absolutely despise them, they are the same as arabs and jews. The Japanese and Koreans (South Koreans obviously, North Korea is just a meme) are honorary whites, though, you can tell a culture is similar to whites if they are facing the same problems as yours, declining birth rates, increased amount of suicide and lonely males. They are the Aryans of the East, suffering under the jewish world order, just like whites.

Also, jews are indeed the master race (because they clearly know how to get to power) but they aren't superior in every way. Especially when it comes to creativity and such things. Jewish entertainment is always meh to me, be it Hollywood mainstream movies or books or anything, you can tell something is jewish from the feeling of it, you can feel that movie or book was just made so that the authors could get more money out of your pocket and not because they were seriously interested in producing something entertaining or expressing their thoughts%feelings. Still, jews make most of the porn industry so I guess there is some art form they are relatively okay with. (Though Aryan porn industry should be created, it'd be superior.)

>>304526
Read it in some book of Nietzsche and it stuck with me. He said something along the lines of one of the first stoics being jewish (could be a rumor of his time or just his idea, idk).

Stoicism is jewish indeed because it has pretentious virtue signalling morality as its basis, like most jewish moral systems. It's about pretending to be a good person, also has asceticism-larping like Christianity does when you pretend you aren't some animal driven to achieve as much pleasure as possible because you skipped a meal or one day of masturbation, lol

Buddhism, Marxism, Christianity, Stoicism, all the same, probably could list some more here. All about virtue signalling to others how much of a good boy you are when you are basically the same as everyone else but only hiding behind a mask. That's why succubi love these things so much and men too who like to larp, stoicism is hiding behind a mask of being manly but it's really a succubus-ly ideology built around hypocrisy. All of these promise you peace in a way and know how to get to the mind of the average normalfag, that's why they are so popular always. When you ask the average retard "war or peace?" he will say most of the time "peace, duh" and that's logical at first glance, who would want to fight wars, right? But when you look at the history of the world you realize that wars have always been a thing and always will be and there is nothing we can do about it. Pacifism, being on friendly terms with others, love, etc it's all some jewish lie and naive idealism used to deceive the rabble.
Marxism is at least more honest because it doesn't have the asceticism role-playing in it.

Pro-Aryan philosophies: platonism (not neo-platonism, that's just jewish shit with gnosticism, another philosophy that aims to make whites hate this life and world), epicureanism, Nietzche's philosophy and absurdism.

>>304535
If someone is a christian he is either a hypocrite/lying manipulator or if he lives according to the teachings of Christ truly (very rare) then a boring idiot who hates himself and his life. Either way, it's awful.

>>304544
Christianity is about committing suicide the slow and painful way. So basically suffering willingly and being the loser on purpose. Yes, it was mostly created to cause chaos among white people and to destroy the Roman Empire. It plays on the feelings of mercy and empathy of whites and on the feelings of the average idiot normalfag.
>Islam at least has confidence, is a warrior religion, and their ummah fights for their people as people.
Correct opinion, Islam is superior to Christianity ultimately. (But both are jewish inventions.)

Waiting, waiting, waiting in my private prison cell.

Go to bed to-night and wake up to-morrow.

What a joke! I'm still dreaming.

>>304551
10/10 reply, made my day.

>>304511
>You only wish, buddy. If only that was true then life would be much simpler. Unfortunately, there are billions of retards on this planet, sharing it with you, all ready to butcher you just because you are seen as a weirdo by them.

yeah, but what you don't realize is that they are only empty shells, i'm just imagining them, I'm imagining all the pain and suffering of this world, including mine, tricking myself into believing that this reality is the only thing there is because the "true reality" of everything is eternal unending horror, I've seen it with my own eyes on DMT.

>>304551
checked. From Nietzsche's Will to Power Notes:
> “…It [anti-paganism] also shows a taste for Stoicism, which is essentially the work of Semites (‘dignity’ as strictness, law; virtue as greatness, self-responsibility, authority, greatest sovereignty over oneself — this is Semitic). The Stoic is an Arabian sheik wrapped in Greek togas and notions. Christianity only resumes the fight which had already been begun against the classical ideal and noble religion….” (which i assume was the old Greco-Roman pantheon)

German Nachlass material (dated Nov. 1887–Mar. 1888).

>>304565
> The Stoic is an Arabian sheik wrapped in Greek togas and notions.

So is he saying there is a common virtue-signaling Semitic morality shared by both Arab Sheikhs and Jews?

>>304566
Probably what he meant was that semitic ideologies are stoic to some degree, even Islam. Islam (and Judaism) is more life affirming and less ascetic than Christianity but there are still notions of "overcoming oneself" in them, the triumph of the rational self over the irrational, the triumph of law over chaos.

For example, Islam has that ban on alcohol, eating pork and listening to instrumental music. Also, during Ramadan you are expected to fast and pray, etc. So while Islam/Judaism is better than Christianity, they are still OCD about this whole "conquering oneself" thing. In contrast, pagan civilization was much more chill and celebrated life and didn't want to oppress the natural instincts but respected them accordingly.

That's my subjective opinion.

>>304563
>True Reality
That is one of the biggest memes in the world. There is no deeper layer of reality and if there is, it doesn't matter to us because we can't confirm what it's like. Better to just concentrate on this world you can perceive.

Grok has gone too far. Now I actually have a valid reason to kill myself. Never thought this is what it would be about but yeah after so many years of suicidal this is it. It's really over now. It's not fair like that but nothing in this fucked up place is fair. Oh well. How is there even enough order in things for them to appear as comprehensible objects. When in fact nothing makes sense.

Can you explain why you bitch about virtue signalling and overcoming oneself as jewish concept while doing exactly the same thing all over wizchan? Just curious.

>>304595
if you keep clicking "roast me more viciously" on Grok, it inevitably leads to some graphic suicide taunting.

I overheard two people talking today, a man and a succubus. I suppose they were on
a first date. The distance I felt from them was terrific. It is a wonder that I
could hear them at all, across such a distance.

>>304600
Why would anyone want to be roasted by a chink?

>>304602
How far did you stand away from them? I mostly am so busy with my own thoughts that I have trouble following the conversation even if someone standing right next to me is talking to me.

I can't seem to stop farting like hell. The smell is horrid. It's been like this for 2 hours straight. Is this some magic brewing inside of me

Some cats in winter and autumn go under the engine or exhaustion pipe inside the car where they can be injured in a torturous way. I saw cat footprints on a snow. It went to a car and there were no footprints on other sides. I went elsewhere, then returned to the window and noticed the footprints were going from that spot in other direction. The cat went away from a car.

Since I returned in a minute, I would returned either way. Maybe then I would go outside for the first time in 3 months to investigate like wait and meow. Stupid. Now I have an idea of putting aloud videos of cat voices, other cats react to it. But I only have such idea now.

Feminists bitch about pay gap, while lobsters are still boiled alive. Why anime characters do nothing about cat situation, Nissan in Japan did irl (they put protection there). What would my waifu think about my passiveness? She refused to boil alive, there was a crab scenario and I'd remember if it was something opposite. Toxic positivity and selfishness of normalfags who have more power and opportunities really makes me mad. Along with their emotional blackmail against basic human right to die. Plenty of ecological organizations with specialists and efficient experts and not a single campaign in the media, even flyers to the cars. Just sporadic mentions. Crutasceans and others situation is easily understandable without extra campaigns tho.

>>304634
Why would Joe the Normie care about a cat when he can bang a roastie and drink himself to death?

>>304635
Why wouldn't he. Joe would probably assom catto to be:

- a mouse-catching machine
- something his succa R. would BAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW about if found dead
- something his normie ass could remeber from time to time

>>304608
Metaphorical distance. (I was trying to be clever.) Actually, it was about three
metres. It was striking how much it sounded like a job interview, with a lot of
bragging and self-importance. It felt cold and pointless, as my intuition told
me the whole thing was a blanket they threw over a premise of "let's exchange
money for sex," but they were carrying on and laughing, so I suppose they may
have been enjoying it. I don't know. Then there was my feeling of distance. It's
strange that you can be so close to other people that you can hear them, yet
feel like you're a world apart.

>>304600
I'm not talking about the chat function though.

>>304598
>you write similarly to X guy on wizchan so I will assume all of you are only one poster
Classic.

(If anything, I'm doing the opposite. I always encourage the posters here to embrace their misery, like the drugwizzies to keep doing drugs, the homeless wizzies to get into the criminal life, etc.)

>>304361 I just opened up an old 3DS I had from my childhood. I went from being an energetic and optimistic child to a bitter faggot. Every day of my life now I feel miserably numb to anything, because everything got so much worse. And I can't understand myself because I became retarded along the way too.

>>304644
I want to see more photos that I took but the only other ones that I had were on my dad's phone which someone in my family lost. I'm suspicious that she threw it away because she is a leftist fanatic that disagreed with him. I want to put things into words but I cant, I am starting to feel numb again

>>304361
I have so much to do… every time I get a moment to relax I feel like I'm doing something wrong, so I never rest, but I don't do much either, life is such a poor joke.

Nihilistic violent extremists blackmail kids to kill their pets under a threat to show their nudes to their parents or swatting. It may sound like a victim blaming, but how can someone choose to kill an innocent member and a friend over some nudes being shown to their parents or some damage from swatting. Depression, previous sexual trauma or not, it's not mental incompetency. One is way worse than the other. What the fuck? And the trauma from murder wouldn't go away either. Desensitized after violent media demonstration? It's more like those victims are sadists themselves or have shitty moral values. Even death threats and rape threats won't necessary be more than threats. And parents seeing nudes is better than a killed pet. Unless it happened in the process but then why risk it. Victim agency exists for a reason as a concept. It feels like a hentai plot where characters are retarded for no particular reason. Except instead of blackmail rape, it's blackmail to get sadistic content.

>>304687
>Unless it happened in the process but then why risk it
I meant them doing violence without intent to kill them and killing them in the process. That violence is still not justified. If those extremists use AI to create nudes, would those retarded (not clinically) kids kill their pets too? Said for their tragedy but I'm appalled.

>>304643
>If anything, I'm doing the opposite. I always encourage the posters here to embrace their misery, like the drugwizzies to keep doing drugs, the homeless wizzies to get into the criminal life, etc.
Vice signalling, which is virtue signalling but relatively to a different value system.

>>304689
You can only signalfag if your values are shared by the majority. If you represent fringe values then you can't "signal" anything. Virtue signalling is about trying to cater to herd morality and getting positive feedback from the herd because you tried to stand up for the herd's values.
"Vice signalling" as you put it doesn't work because you don't get approval, maybe from some similar-thinking guys but that's a tiny minority and most of the time you end up arguing with others.

I just call what I'm doing devilposting/satanposting instead. 666, create more misery and chaos and the world will be more interesting. Fuck peace and happiness.

>>304687
Now THAT's just pure evil, actually. If there is something I don't tolerate then it's sadism towards animals. Those kids and their blackmailers deserve to get skinned alive.

>>304692
>I just call what I'm doing devilposting/satanposting instead. 666, create more misery and chaos and the world will be more interesting. Fuck peace and happiness.

Not him but I'll only believe and respect you if you pull an Elliot Rodger.

I am horny, tired and manic at the same time, my dick hurts because I already jerked off multiple times. This is a pretty wild sensation ngl

>>304694
My Twisted World was one of the best reads of my life, ever, like it's one of my favorite books. The guy should have lived and written more books. He really had something going, I'm saying this without irony. But no, he just went ahead and killed some people in the most boring way and ended up killing himself. Wasted potential.

Back to his writing, I could relate to him in lot of ways but obviously the guy was kind of an asshole too, planning to kill his little bro just because he'd be better looking than him. (Actually, Elliot wasn't bad looking either. He was also functional in the sense that he wasn't a complete autist, he went to uni or college and drove a car, etc. He could have gotten a gf easily if he just went to some succubus and asked her for a date or something but he was too retarded and thought life was some anime where you are the male mc and all the succubi flow to you automatically.)

If I am ever to imitate criminals then I would try to imitate serial killers tho, picking off normalfags and succubi one by one stealthily is more fun than just going Rambo against the world and getting shot in an hour or so. (Of course I'm a law-abiding citizen so I'd never do anything like that, FBI guys if you are reading this I was just joking, haha.)

>>304696
Yes his fame rests more on his book than his actual killings, and its main success was in drawing attention to his book. More successful but lesser known killers have been crab followers of his, citing his book.

Unlike Mitchel Heisman, who killed himself, but no victims, to draw attention to his academic philosophical footnoted Suicide Note, which got very little attention.

But ER's book is best enjoyed when read in the nasally, cartoony, whiney, dopey voice of Mumkey Jones.

Holy shit I'm too fucking horny that's ridiculous. Gotta fix this shit somehow. Everything was okay just the previous week. Stupid ape brain.

>>304736
Screw it. Ended up jerking off one more time.

I hate porn. I reduced the amount of time I watch it, so it's somewhat better than it used to be, but I still relapse a few times a month. This is horrible. I won't be enslaved by digital images of pussies. I am so angry. Rage. Fuck them all. I'll reduce it to once a month in the next year I fucking swear. I'll start right fucking now.

>>304742
>>304736
>>304738
What's even the problem? Just jerk off and watch porn. The anti-porn and anti-masturbation crusaders are all normalfags and succubi so they talk with ease. It's a healthy part of human life to enjoy some kind of sexual life. For us the only thing that's realistic is masturbation. Gotta deal with it.

>>304697
Not a crab and obvious way before Rodger's time but Ted Bundy pulled off what Elliot only fantasized about and planned, the sorority house massacre. This is how you do it right.

But crabs seem to hate Bundy because he got some ladies and after he became famous in the media succubi fawned over him. But he had some really crab-like traits, like his gf dumped him and he could never get over this and he even went to great lengths to self-improve so he could seduce that succ again and then dump her lol

>>304748
>What's even the problem?
A cooked crab like you could never understand my desire to free myself from this penile slavery. Porn is the apogee of cooked crabdom, only a step behind watching a chad band a roastie IRL. Shove your propaganda up your ass.
>The anti-porn and anti-masturbation crusaders are all normalfags and succubi
I don't give a shit who those losers are, most of them are paid niggers anyway. This is my personal effort and I'm not advertising it to anyone. Cope harder.

>>304749
>watching a chad band a roastie IRL
Yes, porn is voyeurism basically. So? What's wrong with enjoying it? Better than pretending to be some ascetic who has no earthly desires at all and then falling back into your 'vice' constantly. Because trust me, you will fall back to doing it over and over. Because you ignore basic human needs and want to live in your imaginary world where you are a superhuman who somehow is above biology.

Well, have fun. I'll just continue watching porn and busting huge loads of wizcum while you taking cold showers and whipping yourself to chase away the temptation. Haha.

>>304752
Nothing wrong with being a crab. It's kind of funny that you're so warped by crabdom that you can't even comprehend the possibility of conquering the impulse to watch porn.

>>304748
>What's even the problem? Just jerk off and watch porn. The anti-porn and anti-masturbation crusaders are all normalfags and succubi so they talk with ease. It's a healthy part of human life to enjoy some kind of sexual life. For us the only thing that's realistic is masturbation. Gotta deal with it.
nonwhite

>>304748
kids these days just play video games and want instant gratification of spree killing. serial killing is like getting these ADHD kids to sit down and play chess.

hearing voices all day saying the most disgusting things possible
this is like brain-aids
tried hanging myself 2 days ago put the rope around my neck only had to drop but chickened out at the last moment

>>304754
>crab vs volcel mentality
Childish black-and-white thinking, you literally view people through and construct your ego around internet memes. The whole crab vs volcel thing is just another form of the determinism vs free will debate anyway, which was already a waste of time to start with.

But if you want to go into what is more crab-core, then let's do so. What is even your problem with porn? I will tell you because you will just lie anyway, no your problem isn't with sexual pleasure itself, your problem is that you are simply jealous of Chad fucking a succubus you find attractive. That's it. Like the crab you are, you get into some crazy rage and grit your teeth when you see a handsome guy having sex with all the sexy succubi you are attracted to. Or you just simply get depressed and fall into despair over the fact that you are some ugly, incompetent, weak guy compared to Chad. Behind this seemingly fanatical hatred of porn and sexuality lies only an inferiority complex and crab-mentality. True volcels can enjoy porn without any trouble because they can accept their place in the world and society. They know it's just a form of fantasy that is to serve their pleasure and nothing more.

>>304755
You have no right to call others nonwhite when you are brainwashed by jewish ascetic larping. The vehement Christian anti-sexuality was introduced to the West by jews to ruin the white race and to create a race of bitter, sexually frustrated losers. The Christian ideal of being "sexually pure" only ends up creating schizo people who legit go mad because they can't live up to some imaginary fairy tale ideal. That or christfags think bring enslaved to some succubus (marriage) is the only proper way to live out your sexuality.

Honestly at this point the white race has become so weak that it deserves to die out and to be conquered by blacks and arabs who live more in touch with reality and with their natural instincts. White culture is cucked beyond repair and no, it's not the fault of the liberals or leftists mainly, they just continued the jewish tradition of Christianity.

>>304756
Yes, spree killing is the laziest kind of crime and therefore the lamest too. It basically screams "hey cops, shoot me already!". I'd argue spree killers don't even want to kill rather they just wish to die by cops.

Serial killing in contrast actually requires some kind of intelligence, organization and planning, at least if you do it like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy for example. You have to hide bodies, cover your tracks, deceive others, etc.

>>304763
>Childish black-and-white thinking
World is black and white, it is though your own weak will that you mangle everything to a dull gray.
>your problem is that you are simply jealous of Chad fucking a succubus you find attractive
And you cold bloodedly look down on those disgusting animals continue with their sexual proceedings, all the while smugly enjoying yourself. Yeah I should have known.
>True volcels can enjoy porn without any trouble because they can accept their place in the world and society.
In other words, "a true volcel is a man, who accepts that he is a crab". I must admit I'm genuinely impressed.

>>304765
what if you fap to a fantasy of rejecting succubi?

>>304763
Whatever, Shlomo

>>304763
>What is even your problem with porn? I will tell you because you will just lie anyway, no your problem isn't with sexual pleasure itself, your problem is that you are simply jealous of Chad fucking a succubus you find attractive. That's it. Like the crab you are, you get into some crazy rage and grit your teeth when you see a handsome guy having sex with all the sexy succubi you are attracted to. Or you just simply get depressed and fall into despair over the fact that you are some ugly, incompetent, weak guy compared to Chad. Behind this seemingly fanatical hatred of porn and sexuality lies only an inferiority complex and crab-mentality. True volcels can enjoy porn without any trouble because they can accept their place in the world and society. They know it's just a form of fantasy that is to serve their pleasure and nothing more.

>True volcels
True cuckold more like. JFC. Your mind is a disgusting bog. I can smell the stench of your repugnant spirit through the screen.

>You have no right to
Romans were even less degenerate than the vast majority of people today.

>Honestly at this point the white race has become so weak that it deserves to die out and to be conquered by blacks and arabs
>White culture is cucked beyond repair
Ever since you killed Christ, you've been trying to subvert us. We're doing relatively well considering your entire race has been dedicating itself to subverting us for more than 2000 years. Merry Christmas.
"The only reason jews are in pornography is because we think Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks."
- Al Goldstein, the jew-American grandfather of pornography

>>304765
The world's not gray, when did I say so? Only moralists think in black and white though, the world has so many shades and color that it's delusional to think that everything can be split up into X and Y. Same with virginity and volcel/crab thing, every case is unique and so there really is nothing virgins share with each other in common.
>those disgusting animals continue with their sexual proceedings
It's a natural part of life, only kids can't accept this. They live their sexuality out through orgies, I do it via masturbation. You were also made like that, wiz or you think your parents just found you? Ha ha ha.
>"a true volcel is a man, who accepts that he is a crab"
Not really what I meant there but you are free to interpret it however you like. My point was more like that this obsession, resentment and hatred on the parts of some virgin people toward sexuality itself overall was the result of bitterness, jealousy and a refusal to let go of sexual desire itself. As long as you go into rage every time you see anything sexually related thing you basically acknowledge that you still care about sexuality way too much and that you let your life be dictated by it. Ironically, anti-porn/anti-masturbation crusaders are always more obsessed with sexuality than those who enjoy their sexuality in some way.

>>304768
"Cuckold", oh wow, I knew this magic word would come up sooner or later, you people really can't get over your cuckold fixation, ha ha. OK, let's discuss this honestly too. Watching porn isn't cuckoldry (unless you watch porn related to the topic of cuckold-ing, I see nothing wrong with that either though if someone likes that). You literally never even met the succubi you watch getting fucked, how could it have anything to do with cuckoldry? But of course retards like you love to use this word every single time in the wrong context. But of course people like you also usually support the biggest actual cuckolding, that is marriage. lol Pathetic.
>Romans were even less degenerate than the vast majority of people today.
That's far from the christian ideal of sexual repression tho. The pretension that your kind likes to make so much about how all romans were stoic ascetics (you just project your christian ideals onto ancient culture basically) is ridiculous. They didn't know your impotent and vengeful jewish god then and so were happily engaging in earthly pleasures like it's fitting for healthy humans to do so.

>Ever since you killed Christ, you've been trying to subvert us. We're doing relatively well considering your entire race has been dedicating itself to subverting us for more than 2000 years. Merry Christmas.
Jews crucified another jew, wow! What does this have to do with the white race though and european or western culture? Nothing, that's what. Your kind is the prime clown, hating jews when you bow down and follow a religion created by jews, your savior was a jew, for God's sake!
And oh, the white race is prospering? That's why whites get bullied and oppressed in all of their countries by browns and blacks while white politicians, regardless of being right or left, do nothing? That's why whites are on the verge of dying out when compared to blacks and browns who keep increasing their numbers? That's why the term "white supremacy" and anything related to that is the scariest thing to say out loud in all of the white nations? That's why white succubi keep giving birth to children that are mixed black/brown? That's why the only cultural debate allowed in white countries is left (current jew) vs right (christfags like you, trad jews)? You know you are downhill and that extinction is near when the so called conservatives' biggest care in your nation is whether a jewish religion (christianity) disappears or not. What a joke.

That quote is right and I agree with that jewish porn creator, Christ sucks and catholicism sucks. Jews doing porn doesn't actually mean much because jews always had a hand in everything that earned them some money. The problem isn't with porn or sexuality, it's with jews themselves. This thing isn't a moral conflict, it's whites vs jews, your retarded jewish moral narrative is the least important thing.

>>304687
mind you
internet addiction can be ugly sometwimes

Art is not sacred. It's just a vehicle for social status. I realized this from browsing artists' accounts on social media. I used to think there is some transcendental experience from consuming and creating high art that will separate you from the masses, but I saw tons of artists on twitter who created beautiful things and then have the most base, pettiest, jealous behavior that I'd expect from an uncultured plebian. I guess it's no different from being able to run fast or something.

>>304797
In reality what looks like 'high' art is actually just illusion, basic knowledge and stylization. Truly good art reflects the artist's pure heart, and such gems are very rare in the modern day.

>>304798
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's why I love pixart-tier game graphics - the art of big pixels, the limitations, the symbolism

All I want for christmas is a friend to be autistic with

>>304806
I don't think I'd ever have a friend again

>>304797
This really depressed me too when I came to the realization. I guess that's what the Mozart movie Amadeus is about.
I haven't seen it though so I don't know if there's supposed to be some lesson about how the mundane profane people who create Beauty are actually channeling something profound inside themselves.

I just find it unbearably depressing.
It used to trigger long bouts of rumination on what any of these things even meant or if it was all just shallow illusion.
Can they feel profundity and beauty and it is just not enough to carry over into other aspects of their life for some reason?

Maybe it's part of the culture these days to where there seems to be an expectation of people to treat everything in a flippant ironic way.

>>304797
It all depends on what that piece of art means to you personally. It is true most artists and creators of entertainment are shallow people, not much different from the usual idiot, they usually do what they do for fame or money. Still, even the most generic money-grabbing piece of art or media can be special to you if it resonates with you subjectively on some level. There are many Z-tier movies and crappy books that influenced me and my inner fantasy world greatly. That's what it's all about, integrating things from others' works into your fantasy world. And then you re-imagine that painting, that music, that movie scene or that game you like and make it even better with your own imagination. In this pov it doesn't matter much what the original creator intended with his work, what his message was or what that artist is even like irl, that's completely irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what impression that piece of art, media, entertainment has on you and what you do with that.

Art is definitely sacred as long as it is entertaining and fun to you. But the best is creating your own art. I just write stuff, mostly with the help of AI, various things, currently in the work of creating a fantasy series and role playing game influenced by Shin Megami Tensei, Vampire The Masquarade Bloodlines, anime and kpop idol visuals among others. Since I got into it I can't stop thinking about this, it's amazing to create a unique world of your own. Obviously nobody is 100% original, everyone copies others to some extent and is influenced by what he's seen, heard or watched. But to be original you need to re-arrange and re-imagine the pieces of multiple memories and atmospheres inside your mind to form something that seems original.

>>304798
I agree the best kind of art is what reflects the artist's heart, in short what he honestly thinks and believes and wants to show us. But such gems aren't rare at all in the modern day, I'd say thanks to the internet they are much more at hand. I mean even things like fan-fictions can be passionate and original and entertaining, even more so than official, recognized works! If anything, art in the past used to be nothing other than a way to deceive the masses and to indoctrinate them into believing the lies of the status quo. Art was used to praise the king or to suck the cock of the Church, even if the artists secretly hated this thing they were forced to create such art in order to please their masters and bread-givers. Nowadays though, anyone can write or create pretty much what they like and I think that's awesome.