>>230050I'm phoneposting but there was a book on this by some spanish cortesean. He gave advice on social settings, specifically high stakes environment like the spanish court.
Basically he said socialization is like running a marathon and is exhausting, and is more about pacing yourself rather than 150iq gossipy moves. Not to bother thinking too deeply into people's motives. Never outshine your superior. Cultivate a sense of mystery by only sharing a fraction of your personal life. Cultivate one obvious but harmless flaw that people can joke about. Never moralfag. And never give 100% all the time, reserve your best work for special occasions. And always act busy and like you have a lot going on, always being available makes the value of your time diminish. Try to be the one who leaves earlyish and doesn't linger around.
It was mostly about avoiding displays of anger or neurotic behavior. The big thing he emphasized was it was overthinking motives, holding grudges and exhaustion that lead people to have flashes of anger that fucked them. Flashes of anger destroy irrevocably what took a lifetime to cultivate.
He emphasized that personal advancement was down to luck and people's reputation is fickle. Fortunes change and that you can do everything right and still fuck up. Stressing out about how you missed out on X or Y just leads you to make mistakes of anger.