I had an idea recently (while thinking about my own life) that feelings of
unfulfilment stem from alien values. It may be that the life you aspire to or
have been coerced into living is not the one you are best suited for.
I once heard a succubus say this (paraphrasing as it was a while ago and not in
English): "When I was young, I felt that I wasn't good at anything. Then, my
grandmother told me, 'You don't need to be brilliant; just live a good life.'
I thought that was very nice, and I have always remembered those words."
Well, when I first heard the succubus say that, I thought, "How silly. Of course
that's what you would tell a child who isn't particularly good at anything. It's
a cope, like so many others." But lately, I've begun to wonder about it more,
and in fact, I found myself idly wishing that someone had told me something like
that when I was younger. It might be that this idea that we have to become as
good or better than others is a kind of trap, and that for some people there is
no need to be especially good at anything. I spent so much time worrying about
stupid things like grades and reaching a "perfect future," and for what? I
was overwhelmed, I had nervous breakdowns, I thought about suicide regularly
and even developed health problems. In retrospect, it was all so silly and
unnecessary, but because I had internalised ideas like "good grades in school >
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