>>310494I have selective mutism so im like airlines fuel to assholes jerks that like to talk to much or have no problem to make suffering me bacause i fight little to them. In general i talk normal to normies and in hobby talks but when there're these attention whores its like they build a hierarchy to bully people thanks to their power, wealth, charisma, image or wathever
>AlsoI never told anyone about this thing about selective mutism (just one nun and she was the most gentle and kind person i met in my life but she was more a nun than a succubi)
but i know these assholes know it by nature and they love ans enjoy torture me.
>And worse, I kind of just think "what if he died. Then I could enjoy my hobby in peace". As a Christian I shouldn't want the death of anyone.I a stupid agnostic but i read a lot of religions and philosophies of life and every year i turn more slowly into a Buddhist Daoist with some christian like mindset and ideas.
And yes this year i got that idea of "what if this asshole achieve the worst possible suffering experience in life and keeps living with this suffering for his entire damn existence without death peace" and yes, this is a contradiction of my ideas and ideals, these are like alien ideas to me.
You know, doing these practices of metta or love-kindness actually hurt me a lot knowning that i feel like this in response to suffering that these assholes cause me. Its like i slowly turn from a Jedi to a Sith.
The best to do is learn to ignore them and if they are too much annoying take it to the legal.