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/lounge/

 No.316606[Reply]

Are you disabled wiz? Mentally or physically? I'm talking actual diagnosis. I got pretty bad OCD and PTSD.
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 No.321572

>>321535
based

 No.321885

>>316606
Type I Diabetes since childhood.

 No.324190

I have scoliosis, not sure if that counts as disability or just a minor deformity. I don't get any government gibs for example, not even allowed in those sweet sweet blue parking spaces.

 No.324220

I hear voices and have some epileptic symptoms but I avoid psychiatry altogether, doctors can't really help you anyway.

 No.324239

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My disability is that I have high I.Q. I haven't been officially tested but I just know it. It's hell on Earth. Total pain. I try to enjoy things, but I'm just too smart. I try to watch an anime (Japanese animation), and I just feel bored because I'm too intelligent to laugh and clap like a normie would. Even anime made for high I.Q persons, such as Neon Genesis Evengelion and Serial Experiments Lain, are just boring to me. I even tried video games such as The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, but I find myself simply outsmarting the enemy A.I and so the whole game is just boring. When I was in kindergarten I was so bored with how easy the easy schoolwork was that I instead just played with the Link-n'-Logs while the mundanes struggled to learn basic phonetics. The school system caught on to my intelligence so they prescribed me Xanax and Zoloft which I have been taking daily for 25 years. They wanted to keep me from being too smart, but it failed and I'm still too high I.Q to enjoy things. Why must life be so boring? Why must I be too smart to smile? Happiness is truly a fabrication by liars. A cope by unintelligent commoners who only believe that they are happy, when the reality is that they are suffering from being low I.Q. Sigh.


/dep/

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 No.305955[Reply]

Its hard being bad at everything, even the things you do for yourself
Whatever I touch usually ends up ruined
Its very hard on me because I allready expect to fail at whatever I try nowadays
Maybe bad luck is real, but whatever I lay my hands on usually ends up more damaged then fixed
Id like to say electronics are a hobby, but i have destroyed more then I repaired
I have no talents no ability to put any Idea I have in my mind into reality
It doesnt matter if I prepare, if I practice
My fingers dont do what I want them to
Something unexpected happens
I couldnt even fix a carburator on my bike
And I couldnt get the replacement to work either
There are very few times I have tried something and got positive results
I have been fired from every job i have ever gotten quickly
I have been learning japanese for 3 years now and I have seen other people become fluid but despite the time I poured in I still suck
Its very hard to explain to other people, they will say "you have to try more or try something different"
But I am trying and failing
Its not that im just seeing the negatives, when I actually succeed at something it makes me very happy but its a rare feeling for me
I try things, even follow tutorials and it never turns out well for me
I have ruined many things I love by trying to fix an issue and breaking them irrepairably
I just want a bit of sucess in what I do
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308629

>>305957

>I know exactly how you feel and I want to tell you, I was in the same spot but I learned quickly.
Never been the case for me.

>I realized, very early on, that I can only succeed if I fix things on my own terms. Something in my mind just refuses to cooperate if I adhere to a 'correct standard' set by others, I must have total control over the medium I'm working with and I must be the one to set the architectural rules


You explained what I always hateld about my degree, basically. Thanks!

 No.308631

>>306013

people will read and instantly dismiss you sayin you are cursed.

As a person who sincerely believes am cursed myself.

Try to take a bath in salt water. It helps if its sea salt.

 No.308644

I buy warhammer models. I fucked up even the most basic assembly. A soldier with 5 fucking pieces, how the hell would I not fuck up a big model with 100+ pieces?

 No.308650

>>308644
I bought a legit Stormbird. I'm probably never going to assemble it let alone paint it.

 No.308651

>>306021
I hear voices and will hang myself


/wiz/

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 No.226924[Reply]

Today is my 30th birthday. I've been on this site since 2013/2014 until I left in 2023. I feel this chapter has been closed.
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 No.228912

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>>228910
I rolled that dice last year in this thread but my dementia is getting so bad I literally forgot how to do it

 No.228913

1d99

 No.228918

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>>226927
>>228910
>>228912
>>228913
You gotta type it between square brackets [ ], no spaces.

 No.228919

roll 1d99[ 1d99 = 63 ]

 No.228920

congratulations


/dep/

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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
238 posts and 35 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308638

>>308635
If your dad was mindful, he wouldn't have had you in the first place. Education and distance from you allows doctors to be dispassionate about your weakness. Ignorant people who are close to you and close-minded are never going to be able to accept objectivity.

 No.308639

>>308638
I tell him everyday he shouldn't have made me and he agrees with me, he sentenced himself to a life of wageslavery just to feed me and my mom, not a great move.

 No.308642

>>308587
I have 2 uncles that were older gen X, but had AMAZING job offers, they knew all the right people. Nope they became party boys and got drunk EVERY DAY. They were on the type of money that both of them were able to buy brand new flagship cars imported from the USA. Now one is dead, the other is basically homeless and travels on his broken bike everywhere. Abusing everyone he finds. Calls me a lazy loser for working and not being able to afford a 200k+ car

 No.308647

>>308628
They let me have one because they think I don't listen to them when I have them both on. I don't mind it though.

Again, I am not sure that the checklists would help since I am not sure if I'd even check them. It is also a problem with complex procedures when I'd have to make really advanced checklists to cover all possible mistakes.

I thought that I might be spacing out simply because of anxiety over wasted time and people watching me. Perhaps I'll try to drink some mint or whatever when I'll be at work next time. At least I'll be less upset when I'll fuck something up.

 No.308649

>>308642
People back then thought the good times would last.


[Last 50 Posts]

/lounge/

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 No.319696[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

this thread is for Hikikomori and N.E.E.Ts.
use this thread as an exchange between hiki and neet and share what you think is worth sharing.
here's a website that sell hikikomori themed magazine in japan. the website has some interviews of hiki around the world. if you'd like to check it, here's the link: https://www.hikipos.info/
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 No.324198

>>323965
>Your definition is quite irrelevant because it's patently incorrect. NEET is an acronym standing for 'Not in Education, Employment, or Training'. It's not related to one's source of income at all.
self emplotment is also employment.

 No.324200

>>324032
Part-timing?

 No.324201

>>324196
will you working again?

 No.324228

>>324201
It's almost impossible for me to work. Looks like hanging myself is my only option.

 No.324235

>>324228
can't you do something you like before?


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.305401[Reply]

Does anybody else live with family who have seemingly not a care in the world to be careful with your belongings?? It's incredibly annoying and often blood boiling. I have a lot of collections, and attempt to make models like tanks/planes/warhammer stuff and quite often my parents will "inspect" my room for whatever retarded reason and often break several items. I internally call my dad "The grabbler" he picks up delicate items with his full fist, all fingers perfectly alinged - like a special ed kid grabbing a pencil. As you can imagine, this often BREAKS anything even remotely fragile.

This has been an issue I've dealt with my entire life. I'd have my pokemon cards on a playing mat in my room, parents barge in and walk right on them despite them being able to walk around it, and I wasn't even in the way. Or other times where they would grab my school work with greasy/chocolate coated hands and get stains all over it. Also they love coughing and sneezing without any attempt to cover their mouths. You will see spit and mucus stains EVERYWHERE in the house. Especially on the shared computer screen, utterly disgusting.

I have tried everything to get them to be less dirty and more respectful and mindful but they just don't care, my mother is literally too stupid to understand, my father just doesn't care. I don't really want to move out either as it's not a possibility on my wages unless I want to live in a car or next to criminal social housing with even more disgusting people.

The list goes on and on about all the dirty behaviour they get up to. I might even jot down some greentext stories if I'm bored later
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 No.308502

>>308498
>If I cut contact I wont get inhertence
It's the natural order, nothing to be ashamed of. I'll get a bit when my parents pass someday, not much though because they bought annuities instead of investing (facepalm).

 No.308530

>>308498
Try buying a Harry Potter themed "snitch" battery-powered decor, 7$ a piece.

Put it into an old glass pc case.
Instant distraction.


Besides, you could buy a semi-busted 20$ tape player with some chill, sleepy, lullaby-ish tapes…
…and a voice-activated outlet (12$ or so)

And attach some empty can full of steel nuts (0-2$) to your door so the loud "clang" would activate the outlet.

 No.308533

>>308502
>nothing to be ashamed of.
it is

 No.308645

>>308502
the inheritence I will be getting (if they dont waste it or give it to someone else) will carry me into NEEThood for life

 No.308648

>>308645
whao your parents must be rich. do you have brothers and sisters


/lounge/

 No.324068[Reply]

I dont know how to cope that old internet is not coming back and that it will get worse for each year that goes by
14 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324107

>>324099
Norman Norbert Norman Normandy XDDDDD

 No.324136

Today the internet is so boring people prefer to chat with bots

 No.324207

Are you sure it's just the internet?
Both real life and virtual space seem to be accelerating towards a singularity of soullessness and meaninglessness.
I guess finding small or niche places with original content is the best you can do, but it still doesn't really bring back this 'old internet' feeling.

 No.324208

Bad Platforms, with bad concepts, administered by bad people.
Social Media CREATED these people, with intent.
We as a society didn't look through their scheme and have let it happen.

Good platforms with good intent draw in the right people, and will raise next generations better.

 No.324229

>>324207
>Both real life and virtual space seem to be accelerating towards a singularity of soullessness and meaninglessness.
Because they are the same space now and have been for a while.

>>324208
>and will raise next generations better.
The damage is done and cannot be undone. The moment that line between real life and the internet finally disappeared in the very early 10s was the end. To "return" would mean that whole thing would have to somehow collapse.


/wiz/

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 No.228246[Reply]

ive come to a conclusion normies operate on a subconscious level. They still worship a yehweh like being but they dont like to admit it. They talk about how indifferent god is but praise nature for being a provider. when nature is a practical way of explaining a god. You talk about how cruel nature is, and pagans will justify it by saying its supposed to be like that while believing we should use nature as a basis of our sense of right and wrong. Kind of like what christians do when you talk about the indifference about their god. Regardless what belief a normie puts themselves as. it comes to the same conclusion on their thought process.
>the system I support is infallible
>the system I support is perfect
>whatever harm that comes from said system is ment to happen or is justified as the lesser evil in someway
>but we are the ones that fight for progress wven though we dont want to see the flaws in our system to fix the issue.
>but blame those who see the problem in the first place

normies seem to have this mentality that likes to support this Saturn like system in the persuit of "beauty" or "progress" when its nothing more than a dog chasing its own tail. What's worse is people believe im obligated to participate in a dying system they support, or a rebellion that would replace the same concept they swore to fight against. Im simply tired and wish to not exist, wishing this whole thing wether its nature, yehweh or even politics would just fade away. We were fine without experience. We were at peace. But there is that primordial ambition that constantly likes to put itself in the way of everything like a clumsy flamboyant retard stumbling in the room with its utmost redundant suggestions like that filthy serpent that suggested eve to partake in the fruit of knowledge. Or god himself that brought light into darkness to antagonize the peace.
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 No.228338

>>228310
okay

 No.228339

Why remain within the Abrahamic framework if this is your belief?

 No.228341

>>228311
>God is evil because he allows free will and personal agency
Satanism is the ultimate brainrot, if they really are arguing this

 No.228916

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god does a bunch of evil things like kill people but when he does it it's "divine providence" and it becomes objectively a good thing that we can't question

god told abraham to kill his child, for no reason, and as god's faithful servant, he didn't question it at any moment. he was perfectly willing to murder his child like every god-fearing person would. faith in god must be absolute, regardless of how his commands would sound like madness to any rational person.

there is no victory against an omniprescent, omniscient god. absolutely anything he says and does is unquestionable because he is god. a satanist recognizes this and accepts the futility of disobeying regardless. satanism is very similar to existentialism if we only replace God with eg. the cold indifference of the universe. is there a point in rebelling against god? no, but we'll do it anyway. smite me down, god, but i will not murder my child for you.

 No.228917

>>228916
i don't actually have a child obviously. that was rhetorical. thought i should make that clear


/games/

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 No.63562[Reply]

I'm interested in rpgmaker games in general, I feel like there's some gems out there ready to be discovered. digg in! as they say haha
I also like to know the games you've played and your opinions on it.
Don't forget to share some gems, wizards!

 No.63563

>>63562
>I also like to know the games you've played and your opinions on it
A whole lot of goonshit throughout the years. It's not good for your brain, avoid it.

 No.63565

>>63563
can you share some goon games you've played, please? black souls 1 and 2 I guess?

 No.63566

Wadanohara

 No.63569

I've played some of the more popular ones
Off the top of my head, I really liked Yume Nikki, OneShot, OMORI, Your Turn to Die, .flow, The sigcorp series and LISA The painful.
I'm midway through Yume 2kki so that'll occupy me for quite a while

 No.63570

>>63569
I'm playing Ruina:fairy tale of forgotten ruins right now. it's enjoyable so far


/wiz/

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 No.228138[Reply]

Stepped on the scale today and realized that despite the initial "push" from a medical crisis a year ago, I basically regained all weight I lost (minus 5-10kg).
I also realized I've been working for almost 3 years now, going to be 30 the same week I'll hit my 3 years of work too.
3 years… of wages wasted.

I don't even know what the fuck I spent most of it on. It just escapes me.
Still live with mom and all my necessities are taken care of she takes nothing from me.
I had a blessed opportunity these past 3 years to save up for the dogshit future that hit the world now and I wasted it on toys and basically indulging all I couldn't as a NEET with no money.
The worst is that since I'm an impulsive retard I mostly have nothing to show for it either.

Health is even more fucked then ever before since I never took action.
Rather every action that didn't prove fruitful or flat out failed resulted in my absolute surrender for another month or three or six…
Absolutely defeated at the starting line basically.

To get to the point of this thread. Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?
I barely have a sense of time. Kinda like when I was a NEET, just instead of 12-16 hours of sleeping and then PC stuff I'm forced to work a rather easy, blessed job.
Once it passes I just feel like I'm teleported to the next shift until I get to sleep through a weekend and months pass.
Even chronic pains don't make me act much. What does one even do to live?

The worst part really is that so many years went down the drain and I really have nothing to show for it. Not even memories.
I want to at least look back on SOMETHING fondly when I'm dying someday.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 No.228643

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>>228641
If you are about to get a degree you are at least that much ahead of me in terms of capacity to act and stick to something.
So look at it as a positive. I spent many many years going to colleges as a way to mask my NEETdom, but never really bothered since I was unable to focus on something I cared nothing for.
You have proven to yourself that you can force yourself to do things, or at least competently accomplish something if forced by external circumstances.

>I don't even feel like I have a personality.
This however is something I couldn't crack no matter how much time I spend with my thoughts.
It was something of a revelation to me a couple years back too. I don't really have a defined character like many people seem to have.
I adapt, I tend to mirror the most recent person I interact with or observed pretty much, but when alone I'm just a bland mass of nothingness.
It's hard to be something if you were never challenged, you never had to make hard decisions, you never did anything of note or got attached to anything deeply.

If a persons character is a sum of their choices, then what does that make of me, who chose inaction, who chose nothing at every step?

Not really a fitting place to discuss this, but I wonder how much of this is just simply lacking any goals, long term or short. From your short posts I reckon you got railroaded into some computer science degree because "hey he spends his time on the PC all day so surely…" or something along these lines. Just going with the flow.

Most normal people have a clear goal of self development for the purpose of eventual reproduction, then provision for offspring.
This key base thing is like gravity that keeps them on track if nothing else.
Take such goals/drive away and even self preservation becomes optional.

This is what makes me deeply envious of wizards on here that seemingly have it all together and managed to self-actualize without the most obvious driver of life.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.228644

>>228138

good genetics. mine are a fuckin dumpster fire. 93 Iq, 5 ft 6 in, not a succubi, weak , messed up knees and shoulders from a car wreck as a kid.

i got jack shit.

And, will sometimes run across some dude, exactly like me…… BUT 143 Iq,

life is sweet, life is cream, cause of 50 IQ point boost, makes 6 figs.

if someone is like us, and livin it up
they were lucky in genetics someplace. i was dealt all BS

 No.228646

>>228644
I can't disagree, but it's also one of those things you just can't accept else the rope becomes the only real answer.

I'm just about 5'6" in shoes. Funny thing you point out not being a succ, probably got called "male" or "man" in a derogatory tone before too huh?
Wasn't blessed with smarts either. I managed to avoid major accidents, but head injuries from beatings and being born a month premature don't exactly result in the healthiest of dispositions.
Especially if you manage to inherit a bunch of debuffs as well.

I'm still hopeful that I'm some special wisdom / conclusion away from a decent life.
I recall one of the wizards was some wheelchair bound cripple and he seemed to be more competent and at least happier too.
I'm sure there are wizards who are worse off yet managed to get better. I'd like to believe I'm just missing something by being dumb/lazy/self-absorbed or whatever else.
Accepting that the reason for failure is something I can't change fills me with the same dread as thinking of death/oblivion.

 No.228762

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>Reasons why I think my life is "decent"

I have some money saved up after a few years (2) of living at home. Perhaps 30k, some is invested, and I make 54kish a year. I do pay my mother rent at a flat rate of 900 a month, and I help out in other ways monetarily, and this is all partially because she takes me to work on the days I do work in office (I am luckily working a hybrid schedule). I have a degree (CS). I am slowly gaining hobbies, working on correcting bad habits, etc…

>Share some wisdom
Ultimately….. what keeps me going, in all honesty, is my lack of a safety net + my desire for worldly things. Not too original I know but that's it. I can't rely on my mom to coddle me because she kicked me out at 18 once she saw me attempting to sink hours into MMOs, and I had to scrape my way into college and that degree and rough it out for 7 years in a little roach-infested apartment, eating rice and beans and barely passable meat every day. I will never ever qualify for NEETbux. She will kick me out again if I lose my job. And I love air conditioning and the internet. I want to go traveling. My mother is "poor" (living off savings and what I give her) and my father is a dead bum. I can only rely on myself.

I also feel living in that shitty apartment and eating terrible food, surrounded by crackheads and old, old people living in subhuman conditions because they didn't plan for being old really scared me straight. The human body is so resilient. I'm sure you, like me, never thought you would live past 20. But here we are. Unless a freak accident happens we're going to see 60. We need to prepare for that.

>More "wisdom"
I also think you just need to get a GOAL. That isn't helpful maybe but goals really do help. Go "I want to visit [x] country before I get too old and my health starts failing and I don't want to visit it as a pauper" or "when I eventually move, I need to move cities, and I never need to return" or even "I want other people to see this idea within me – let's study art, programming, polish our writing skills…"

When it comes to spending, seriously consider if you need whatever you want to buy. Or try saving 50% of your paycheck and just blow the rest on whatever you please. Even saving 25% of your paycheck will build up fast.

You also need to look at all the years you've Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.228915

>>228762
Do relate to material desires, but even that got old for the most part.
The only remaining "desires" I might still pretend I have feel unattainable (monetarily, world situation, personal options etc.) and are also related to what you mention in part.
Safety. Ironic because I don't do anything for my health… anyways.

>I also think you just need to get a GOAL. That isn't helpful maybe but goals really do help.
I agree.
I agree.
I agree.
So, why not? I feel like the very world is mocking me with this. I know. I fucking understand this. I distilled this myself. No goals, no point to anything. Not hard at all.
I don't get why the world is rubbing my face in this for some reason. Like elderly doctors completely fucking unprompted giving me this lecture.
Normies bringing it up completely at random even though they know zero things about me, it's weird. Either some cosmic influence thinks this is how to motivate me or it's literal demons mocking me.
I know. I get it.
Goal, split it into manageable parts/steps and follow through. Not hard.

Never managed to find a goal that didn't feel made up and artificial. It's hard to strive for something genuinely if you know it's some fake nonsense.
Following through, taking action hasn't been my strong suit either, but I'm firm in belief that it is related to the former lack.

I'm grateful for your response, it's just tiring. I don't know what I'm expecting here at all.
I'm not going to magically care about shit.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


/wiz/

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 No.227908[Reply]

It's official. Sexbots are almost* here.

Would you guys sexbotmaxx or remain a pure Wizard?
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 No.228905

>>228897

fellow old person here, id do any to go back to 1990s.

for people who experienced 1990s, its really hard to describe how Normal it was compared to this fucked up decade,

main i remember of 1990s vs 2020s. Everyone, almost everyone, would be willin to talk. bartender, politician, bus driver, teacher, succubus who didnt find someone attractive, etc….

Thats all swept away now, and you need like a presence or brand (see LinkdIN) to get social interaction. Or it definitely wont happen, it constantly diverts back to online, and online if you re un attractive, your interaction will boil down to: eeeewwww

 No.228906

>>228902
But such discussion directly contradicts the subtitle of the board. Why can't anyone, wizard or otherwise, be allowed to have a single online space in which crabs and other whiny faggots aren't permitted to infect with their whining about succubi's sexual references? This board was made from the ground up to be a place free from that single subject.

 No.228907

>>228902
Au contraire this thread is proof that you can't.

 No.228909

>>228907
We aren't insulated from normie retardation. In fact I have to deal with it daily at work because my country has no
neetbucks.

 No.228914

>>228896
>id debate it, if it worked, but, i dont have time, money, and key word Privacy
Privacy? How come?

>>228891
>A soulless robot is arguably even worse.
I'd argue that it's in the execution. A VR overlay on a BJ device is the same as real sex, has greater potential for customisation and better than physics stimulation. No one is going to fuck a cream colored CRT monitor. I still think that building an MVP >>228886 would be something /pol/ worthy. Anything else is just vapor, not even vaporware. We've had "holodecks" for decades now so there's no point posting what-ifs into IBs and social media.

A lot of men would do better with robots than succubi. I think >>28870 is a robo-man.

>>228897
>>228898
>>228900
>>228905
>>228909
Normies FOMO-bomb each other and social media and dating apps dialed the aggression to 11. Most men are unattractive because they're FOMO traps.

This is the sexbot thread, maybe discuss the normfags on a normie discussion thread?


/dep/

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 No.302164[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
104 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308589

>>308588
you can do it, alkie!

 No.308590

>>308575
How does wine taste better than beer? Beer is much more accessible.

 No.308591

>>308590
Why not just drink fruit juice it tastes better

 No.308593

>>308590
It's equally accessible here but you might be right that beer is more common in certain countries.

 No.308646

>>308590
Try a sparkling rose wine. It's almost fizzy like a soda, and often has fruity tastes. Also Ciders are a great option to explore more flavors whilst maintaining beer level alcohol. Sadly the multi pack ones are shit, it's the single bottles that are like 5 dollars that taste nice


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.308419[Reply]

I got a very sad event and started to write things out of nowhere, like poems and short shitty ironic funny stories in my language, even some are sad or deppresive or even dramatic histories.
Sometimes i like to draw calligrams.
I shared it sometimes with randoms or people i know and they enjoyed it.
I doing this now like two weeks and i feel kind calm and in some way at times little happy after reading or laughing at my shitty work, i dont know why but i like it feels more fulfilling than doing nothing or focus much in fixing my sadness bacause sometimes i even got some smirk or laugh of people seing my art and they looks happy to me and that's everything to fill my day with their little spontaneous bacon of sunlight in this abyss.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308468

sounds fun, you should do this more often if it makes you happy

 No.308634

When i try to do it, cannot begin without getting sad and i end up crying

 No.308640

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>>308468
>i don't want to ruin your peace but i'll just feed you this thought that you should keep yourself prepared for when your brain starts returning to the baseline and thinking rationally again. maybe it'll never happen, but just in case.
No, i chill out now. i start the day writing or doing one of these thing like picrel and strangely elevates my mood a lot.
Maybe just the expression of art is therapeutic in a lot of ways. i know that this fix anything but the way elevates my mood is magical to me.
I stop a little with poems but i have a lot on a note i use it to write calligrams or time to time i re-read these to make a mind-laugh smile or something like that.
Its kinda evocative, its like i recalling a emotion from other time.
>thinking rationally again.
Maybe i think rationally everytime trying to get something healthy to my brain. staying everytime in the sad or deppresive mood of pure apocalyptic dissaster never gonna give anything good in the long run. the end of the race its the same, but its worth suffering to much during the race? some damn bad people just want the perpetuation of suffering.
>>308634
>When i try to do it, cannot begin without getting sad and i end up crying
I started in same way, use it, start writing sad things and later laugh off of your shit, you can read some poems of others and little by little start to find more laughable things or try more to write shitty poems. its not the result but the doing the thing, i never used crayons or color pcrabs as kid (just black pencils and etc) and in a way painting and writing with colors make me joy.

 No.308641

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>>308640
I like these other very random or geometrical, look magical in a lot of ways.

 No.308643

I like to make random pieces of art and blogpost randomly online and then get those accounts banned or deleted. making the art helps me not drastically ruin my life more, but keeping a catalog of those things would keep me mentally insane.


/hob/

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 No.33619[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Has anyone read 5e's fucking Ravenloft?
Just some of the horrid shit in it:
>Strahd's played off as what amounts to Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Angelus levels of edge, literally feels nothing and seemingly has no interests above the usual, though not for the same Bram Stoker's Dracula tier reasons, Literally just wants Tatanya as if a meaningless trophy on his belt
>These dumb faggots made it so that Strahd wants to turn whatsherface not into a vampire bride, or hell, even a true vampire, BUT VAMPIRE SPAWN (You know, sniveling wall crawling nosebleed assface monster vamps?)
>Tatanya's a nigger
>The reincarnation is a nigger
>Strahd's wives are niggers
>Nigger Mayor of a town surrounding the land
>Evil white "everything is fine man"
>Strahd's a Bisexual sodomite degenerate with two male consorts to boot
>Made Barovians "Diverse"
>Made Strahd's conquering of the land sound tyrannical as fuck and less just
>Made it so that Some have Barovians have souls and some don't because of 5e's ravenloft being in a private demiplane, stopping newborn bodies from getting souls, in a piss-poor attempt to mimick the Old demiplanes of dread thing where some residents are literally just NPCs made by the powers, even though this makes no sense to anyone who's had to deal with Gulthias in 3.5 and Ashradorn in the whole Soul font thing with the ban on unborn souls in lore, so these people should be getting souls, because otherwise the demiplane would have to deny all positive energy for this shit to even remotely work
>All done because they're too lazy to redo the demiplanes of dread just like before,
>Strahd now heals for 20 in his fast heal
>Mongrel Men are the results of Racemixing past the half-race stage suffer for it, check their description and it's fucking played off as a good thing despite them being ugly mutants beyond redemption in their racial descriptions, the self-unawareness is real

This is why warhammer roleplay and castle drachenfels will always be superior
280 posts and 62 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.70266

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>>68419
Hello again anon! It's been a year, how are things going in your game? Still playing with that GM and that other guy?

>I spend most of the week despising it
>Then it's gaming night and all is forgiven. I have a great time, I get to talk with other human beings I don't actively despise
>Then it's the next day and nausea returns
I have started my campaign again and as the GM, I've been having the opposite reaction. I enjoy preparing the game during the week, stocking the dungeons and moving the gears of the world, but on game night I can feel my tank emptying in real-time, and by the end, I tend to be slightly dissatisfied. The players are engaged and definitely seem to enjoy the whole thing, and I think I've found a pretty good risk/reward balance that makes the game meaningful. So I don't know what else I'd want really, yet I usually get more fun preparing the game than actually running it. After the game, I spend the rest of the evening being negative and mulling over minor things that could have gone more smoothly, not feeling the raw satisfaction you'd expect, or being excited about what the players did in the game.
But then, on the following days, I get motivated again and enjoy devising new things for the players.

 No.70678

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>>70266
Hey there. It's been a while since I checked this thread. Apologies. About the game, I quit about 5 months ago and it was a mistake. I miss it more than I hated it. Now I'm reading the books wishing I was playing. I'm beyond fucking pathetic, what else can I say. I don't feel like going back to my old group, I fear they think less of me for quitting. Now I'm thinking about finding another group, I don't know.

Happy to know you started your own game. How is it going? I'm sure your players are enjoying it. Players that are at all worth their salt always appreciate their DM. You're basically doing hard work for their enjoyment. Even if things don't go smoothly here or there, who gives a fuck, right? At least that's how I see it as a player.

 No.70679

this looks fun

 No.70680

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>>70678
Hello anon!

>About the game, I quit about 5 months ago and it was a mistake. I miss it more than I hated it.
Ah, sorry to hear that. I'm sure you had good reasons to quit after so long.
Have you ever ran your own game, or thought of doing so?

>Happy to know you started your own game. How is it going?
I have stopped running it, mostly due to the reasons I mentioned. My motivation dried up, and at some point it started to feel like a chore.
It lasted long enough, and the players were certainly enjoying it, if I'm going by their near perfect attendance, engagement during play, and long sessions often ending later than reasonable on week nights. It was also the best campaign I ever ran, having perfected my methods from previous ones, and that was good. But I lost the spark eventually, and sooner than I expected too.

>Even if things don't go smoothly here or there, who gives a fuck, right? At least that's how I see it as a player.
That's my issue as a GM, I'm too autistic about running the system rules-as-written. It makes for a rewarding and meaningful experience for the players, and while I'm good at running it this way, it's a lot of work. I could certainly gain from being more flexible, but even as a player, when things are too loose or when I sense the GM is cutting corners, I tend to lose interest because it stops feeling like a game with strict rules I can win or lose at.

Anyway, like yourself, I have been reading stuff again, old gaming magazines from the 80s. The spark is never completely dead.

 No.70682

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>>70680
There wasn't a good reason, it's just that I tend to focus on the negative side of anything I'm doing. I quit because I thought I was going to dedicate myself to reading more books, but of course, in the end, I barely read shit anyways and now I'm outta game. I'll probably find a new group on Roll20.

How long did it take you to call it quits with your campaign? I hope you had fun with it. Maybe it's best to have shortish games that end after some months so people can recharge, instead of turning it into a fucking religion the way me and the guys were doing. The first couple of weeks after I left I truly felt like I had escaped from a cult. And now I want back into the fold. I'm almost inclined to give a hollow laugh.

I prefer strict rules myself, but I'm not dead set on them. I do very strongly prefer no fudging to save the characters, no matter what. You can only have true consequences from your decisions if the world is not conspiring in favor of the PCs.

>>70679
It is fun. It's way better than any video game out there, that's for sure.


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.306545[Reply]

I am not even that horny, a lot of the days I force my self to do it while not even being in the mood for it, it's just the most effective way for me to cope, masturbation is free, gives you instant pleasure and can burn for you many hours at the time, there are times when i find my self touching myself just so I can use it as a way to distract my self for my anxieties and negative thought loops, as soon as i start touching myself all my anxiety and negative emotions start to dissolve as much as i hate and it hate how much i overdo it, i can't deny it makes getting through my days easier when i can just touch my self for many hours instead of just sitting there being miserable feeling hollow bored to tears and empty or anxious and overthinking at worse, my point here is that I believe the addiction for me is a mere sympotom, something I use to escape my negative feelings and the emptiness of my daily life, thanks for reading my blogpost
67 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307854

>>306545
If I have something to do and am sleeping well I don't do it for months without even thinking about it. If i'm not sleeping and I can't focus on anything it's hours a day

 No.308390

I did no fap for 70 days once but now I realize that was fake it didn't interrupt the addiction. I now genuinely have lost all interest and don't think about it at all and even when stumbling upon random material when browsing the web it doesn't do anything. Not sure if this will go on but it's the first time for almost two decades that I'm not prone to pornographic material. Certainly it's liberating I even play single player video games again.

 No.308596

I was able to escape my porn addiciton by learning meditation and mindfullness.
Mostly it teaches you to observe your cravings with detachment and you will eventually lose interest in porn

 No.308597

yuki

 No.308633

>>306545
I have the opposite problem, I've done it so much my dick doesn't even care anymore, I just ignore the feelings now because it'd be too much effort to make anything happen physically.


/dep/

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 No.308343[Reply]

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

Previous: >>307210
41 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308609

>>308608
It's almost as if TLoZ is a game targeted towards small children who don't do well with hard puzzles

 No.308611

>>308602
Nah, it is.
>>308605
>when's the last time someone got bullied for not being intelligent and creative
It's not about outside perception. At the end of the day, you have to take a good, long hard look at yourself in the mirror, and you can't lie about yourself. You can't force yourself to like what isn't likable. A lot of those intelligent, creative people while having those qualities just aren't good enough - they don't cut the mustard. Could society be set up to be more forgiving? Sure, but that doesn't change the fundamental reality.

 No.308616

Every day I feel like I need to be doing something but I have no idea what it is I should be doing, so I'm just overwhelmed by this spiral of feeling lost and ashamed and then trying to distract myself from the feeling.

 No.308620

>>308616
you have unfinished goals that your subconscious keeps on trying to solve, that gives you that restless feeling of wanting to do something. try to make them explicit in your awareness and either fully give up on them, get some kind of closure that allows your mind to stop obsessing over them, or actually do stuff that's relevant to those goals (but often there isn't anything you haven't already tried, which is why you've dissociated from them in the first place).

 No.308630

>>308616
Writing down random "need to do stuff" notes counts as an activity; you really need to set a timer for 20 minutes, write down a bunch of things you *could* do this month, and then - bam! Youve just spent 20 minutes actually doing a job of managing yourself for some future hours


/lounge/

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 No.323901[Reply]

No politics or religion in the crawl thread, please.

>Ambient sounds to wash away distraction
https://asoftmurmur.com/
30 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324199

>>324101
Dammit

Get a rice cooker, the "smart" variant. And some cheap tupperware.

Make it cook rice, pour some soy sauce in, yum yum tasty carbs

 No.324205

>>324199
Rice and soy sauce taste awful and are really poor for the health. At least corn chips and vodka root bees taste good.

 No.324210

>>324188
magnet links are so convenient

 No.324211

>>324199
Why, cooking rice is easy why do you need teflon coated crap to cook it

 No.324216

Made my second comment on Viber chat of one TV channel and the host read it aloud. Thought he'd say name and first letter of a surname like sometimes, though now I remember that it wasn't always a case. I used my father's second phone so his name was used. I knew that phone number, e-mail, full name and city won't be mentioned. YouTube creators responding and liking my comments, one literally mentally ill person posting blogs using a few phrases I added to Wikipedia (I think I even undid his edits), now this. Though the mentally ill man doesn't mention my nickname or surname, just the phrase in his hyoergraphia diarrhea of the same shit all over again.

The TV host botched some lines, though he recovered and agreed that compulsory exams in Maths constitutes a form of violence (it's not the only idea of my post, he read everything). I saw it twice on live stream on YouTube too and it's not a local channel. I hid that chat (my posts without talking to anyone, just replies on topic) by a password
For now, I won't remove it from the list of chats. New achievement unlocked. Not that life's worth living, but a nice bonus.


/dep/

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 No.307980[Reply]

Might just be one of the myriad of things from health issues to shit life syndrome, but I've been thinking maybe my small living space is affecting me.

Still live "at home" in a flat with my mom at 30, my room is 2.5m x 5m so 12.5 square meters. (134.549 ft²american)
With all the furniture I have a usable space of about 0.8m x 3m maybe, so less than 3sqm. (25.833 ft²)
Spend all day sitting at my desk anyways so whatever.

Been wondering if maybe this tiny space is part of the reason why I just don't do anything.
Do any of you have experience with living in a small space for a decade+?
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308583

We've been stuck in a cabin-like overcluttered apartment. A loan later, my home feels liveable. I think I could use some "faux 70s disco" lo-fi background music to make it a proper single-themed home.

 No.308584

>>307980
>Been wondering if maybe this tiny space is part of the reason why I just don't do anything.


No.

I have a lot of places to go yet I don't go anywhere much…

 No.308599

Sounds like over pathologization of a something that is just common sense. Restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, etc. are all just bullshit symptoms that could apply to anyone in any situation.
Yes, if you're couped up a tiny room for a prolonged period of time it gets boring and annoying and you want to go outside and have a change of scenery.
Nobody would say that you have "doctor's office-fever" which includes symptoms such as "irritability and restlessness".
What's next? "Stubbed toe-itis, symptoms: uncontrollable rage"? People need to stop making everything into a condition.

 No.308600

I go on a walk every morning (at least like 3k steps but I often get 10k like consistently) and the second I stop maintaining it I go out of my mind. Wish I had a nicer more secluded place to walk but it's not at all optional for me.

 No.308612

>>308599
Yes, they would - it's called white coat hypertension 8D

Whatever validity there may be in acknowledging "living in a less than optimal state" has physical symptoms, balkanising the causes seems counter productive.


/wiz/

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 No.224502[Reply]

It's my 30th birthday I can finally post here woo!
This isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
35 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228880

>>228879
I wish huuh I wish to get a job

 No.228881

>>228880
I hope you get the greatest job ever in human history ever, the best of the best jobs ever, the greatest jobs never thought of, trillionare paying jobs, jobs that makes billionares jealous, jobs that makes satan jealous! YOU SHALL GET THE GREATEST JOB IN EXISTENCE WIZARD!!!

 No.228883

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>>228881
yes, you're right…I SHALL HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD I'M READY LETS GOOOOOOOO !!!

 No.228893

>>224502
as I approached 30 I felt out of place and alone. Then I found this place and I felt much better. Welcome to the mage's guild.

 No.228908

>>228893
>mage's guild
Now Magicchan… that was a real place for mages…


/lounge/

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 No.322726[Reply]

I unironically want to join the ISKCON religion, even if mostly for "aesthetics"-but not in the shitpost sense, in the IRL practice sense
>the personal liturgy involves bathing, clothing, putting to rest\waking, beautiful marble statues
>religion itself promotes playing with cute articulated dolls
>Brahmacharya (perfect mental-bodily celibacy) is HIGHLY praised
>beautiful music + comfy autistic system (chant X rounds a day, on a specific rosary\mala, in a specific way with the fingers, etc)
>amazing cosmology and lore
>cow sanctuaries (i LIKE cows)
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.322736

>>322726
>>322732
Sikh temples offer free meals called "langaar" and it's breddy gud. You just have to wear something covering your head and enjoy the meal surrounded by iconography of people being boiled alive and stuff

 No.322750

>>322730
based.

 No.324108

>>322732
Agreed, the lack of B12 vitamin as well as iron really wears one down

 No.324120

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Learn one of the multiple pajeet languages there and create your own religion (only works if white). The god Anonaja Wizarama will grant you a job on Microsoft and very pretty white succubus with blonde hair and blue eyes in exchange for a million rupees, oooommmm.

 No.324215

If there is one true religion, I just don't see how it can be anything else than Christianity


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