No.228719[Reply]
I want to talk to you about fate: does it exist or not? Honestly, I don't know. I won't claim to believe in it unconditionally, but I looked at my natal chart (Shoutout to my astrologer friend from the other thread! I know you're reading this). During this time, I've talked to magicians, psychologists, internet freaks, and even talked to AI. And, of course, I've tried to start my life from scratch many times. I've tried to find a job many times, but I've lost it. And now I'm 28 years old, guys. I just want to throw everything away. I'll be 30 in two years. I have no education, I've never really learned anything in my entire life, and I've spent half of it living off my parents. I'm literally a loser, a nobody. The older you get, the more clearly you realize: trying to start over doesn't work when you're in poor health. Let's be honest, many of us have lousy health; many of us rarely even go outside. Besides, there's no money for education, not to mention the strict regulations, the need to pass exams, and other difficulties. And I ask myself: did I even have a choice in how to live? Or was my life built from the very beginning according to some divine plan, a supercomputer, or something similar? After all, if you think about it, all my decisions have always turned out to be wrong. I constantly did the wrong thing, made mistakes out of stupidity or naivety. So, is everything predetermined? I'm still tormented by this question. If I were to get up tomorrow and say, "That's it, I'm leaving this life and I'm no longer a burden," I still wouldn't be able to change much. I won't become a doctor or a scientist at 30. External factors influence us too much. Does that mean that even my decision to change something tomorrow was already made not by me, but by someone else? And I just play out this scenario over and over again, and there was no real freedom of choice. But you know what's the scariest thing? It turns out that no matter what we do, we can't jump above our heads. As the saying goes: "Play stupid games, get stupid prizes" or "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Actually, I want to ask you: do you believe in fate? Are we really destined to suffer our entire lives? I looked at myself: I'm 28, I haven't learned anything, and I just wasted this life. I wish I'd never been born.
33 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view. No.230478
Yes, it exists. But there's good in it. You're allowed to tell yourself that it's not your fault, which it is not and never has been. It's your genes, the environment, the people you've grown up with and raised you. All factors that you'd had no power over and are not responsible for or culpable of.
We're not condemned to suffer for all of our lives, no. Even for people, for who the sun has not always or rarely been shining. Many do not notice the good, because they're busy, and do not appreciate it. You that may be it in the life of somebody else. You have the power to be it, if you want it.
Even when you're 30, it is possible that you'll learn a skill that you enjoy and are proud of, OP. Of course, not at the level of somebody that has done it for years, decades. You'll not be a prodigy at it. You have to be honest with yourself. But you'll be able to learn it, until it'll be impressive to many, until you'll be content with it. Often it is not important to be the best. It is enough to outdo the many, many more, who do not do it, at all. Who do not try, at all. Most do not try. You have the ability to do it. Even when you're old. We're not dogs, but humans and, even if we are subject to fate, we have agency and power.
Do not punish yourself, OP. I know it from myself. I believe I see the disgust for me in the eyes of people. And I believe I deserve the bad and I was destined to the loneliness and pain. So, I resign. But the truth is that it has never been my fault, to begin with. Despite what I believe or what I am told. You do not have to punish yourself, OP. You're allowed to be happy. Allow yourself to be happy. But, do it for yourself.
No.230481
>>230478Comparison is the death of joy.
The "people for who the sun has not always or rarely been shining" are not realistically speaking going to be the good in the life of somebody else. Even if you give and give and serve other people nobody's going to do that for you which brings us back here.
No.230489
>>228719something i've realized recently is that whole free will doesn't exist thing is kinda real, like no matter how much you reflect on the past you will always make whatever decision you feel is best in the moment and you can never undo that, and what you think is best will be shaped by how your brain developed in response to your environment along with your genes and such which are both out of your control at least as a child, you can change your environment later but what you seek as an adult will be shaped by your childhood
so in a way yeah everything you do is predetermined
No.230525
Hey just wanted to tell yall that Im not reading all your words words words cuz I have better things to do. But good luck.