>>309393>The worst part is that my "envy" has moved from wanting a catalog like his, to having now, in my own estimation, attained that catalog You mean to say that his demeaning behavior may have contrubted to you succeeding in your goals? Perhaps that's why he does it. He wants to see you shine, and as a man, he goes about pushing you down the right path through keyboard combat. He knows that you know what he can do and he aims to show you how confident and vivacious you too could be once you reach his height.
>to envying his pride and arrogance and self-assuredness.If you have achieved your goals, then you ought to feel pride. You by all means should self-assure yourself that you are able to do what you put your mind to.
>…as a supposed Christian>As a Christian I shouldn't…Stop shackling your healthy male emotions "as a Christian" and instead embrace your them as a tool with which to grow.
There is no shame in envy. To want what others have only becomes a sin when you seek to take it from them. To use your envy as a tool for growth and advancement towards your greater goals, then envy is good.