No.305809[Reply]
"Hey wizanon… did you go through a similar thing?"
I will never forgive this world, my ancestors, my genes, my family, those people. I will especially, never forgive myself. My adolesence was robbed from me. I could've eaten better, I could've been stronger, I could've said no to all the evil people who abused me, humiliated me, bullied me, took advantage of me. I can pretend to be happy in moments of fantasy, but my baseline is always depression because I have been robbed so completely.
What did I do to deserve this fate? Who was I in my past life to deserve being in such a position? If I had eaten better, I could've grown to my true height. If I had said no and held steadfast, I could've fought back against them. If I had shown some semblance of courage, I could've made happy memories in my youth.
I am 23 years old. You might say that is young. But I have lost the most important years of my growth and development. I have wasted them by suffering emotionally and physically with no fault of my own. I have wasted them by letting others rob me of what I had, my dignity, my reputation, my identity, my resources. I dropped out of school with so much hope, I was truly so happy, only to suffer far more than I ever have at the hands of forces beyond my control.
No matter what I do now, as much as I would love to believe otherwise, there is absolutely nothing I could do to compensate for what I have lost. Nothing I could do replace those days. Nothing I could do to get back what I lost forever. What's been robbed was meant to be robbed permanently. I can only mourn and ache for the rest of my life, aching for the things I was supposed to have but will never get back.
9 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. No.307152
>>305993I would be. Everyday, my conciousness is a haze of grief, guilt, pain and isolation. Perhaps if the past didn't happen, I would still believe in things. I don't remember the last time I felt good or truly calm about something.
No.307156
If you're ever able to stand on your own two feet, you'll come to realize that at least the fact that nobody cares about you is freeing, sad but freeing.
No.307158
>>307156In his case how is this thought going to help him?
No.307159
>>305809>>307152I have nothing to say to you brother but I feel the same. I relate to this on a deeper level.
No.307160
hey iam 1.83m and i will get height surgery to make it 1.95m you should KYS now it's over for you