sister is gonna do a surrogate thing for cash. she last did it like a decade ago. before she had kids of her own i think. the people paying for her are probably going to be two gay guys from newyork lol. she was asking me stuff and making it seem like a big deal blah blah. like i fucking care its not my body i dont care if its dangerous. but what freaked me out was if she had to be put on bed rest, id have to learn how to drive a car again or something… and id have to do shit, id have to basically fucking do everything? no more neeting??? what a nightmare. i think my mom came down last time she got on bedrest so hopefully she would just do that again. if not, hopefully my sister's boyfriend would do everything. sister has had this boyfriend for 3 months now, hes been over probably every weekend, but ive avoided meeting or seeing him. its gonna suck ass when he finally moves in, i feel like ill be kicked out when that happens. i dont really want to be here when sister becomes a surrogate though. that seems too weird. the holiday next month, a metric assload of people will be visiting. lots of distant relatives. lots of way younger relatives that are now married with kids and it feels awkward as hell having to interact with everyone. i know everyone views me as the weird uncle wiz that doesnt have a job and doesnt leave his room. its the first thing they mention to me. i just wish they would tell me "hey its fine you can go back to your room in the basement" and let me skip the event. that never happens. instead, they all egg on their minigroids to scream outside my door, they get into a stampeding frenzy and charge them at my door hooting and hollering and slamming and pounding on the walls until i come out from hiding. fucking hell i can already see it. everyone going through all my shit. "where is the bed?" "he sleeps on the floor what a weirdo" … fuck, well the joke will be on them. im going to get drunk before this stupid thing starts. ill take melatonin, wear my earplugs, and my noise cancelling hearing protectors over top. ill barricade the doors. let them try to get in, they will have to break it all down
sorry for blogging i forgot what i was intending this post to be about
Off topic, but god help that poor kid.
These people start to go prodromal after a week without working so it's not really that big of a deal. Life always seems to find a way
I've been forced back to staying in my room 23/7 and shitting in a garbage bag behind my door