As someone on the A cluster of personality disorders, life is very unmanageable and diminishing29 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
i remember before my illness i was a different person, i used to not care much, i was pretty alpha.
Currently in life i've been more of a victim to my surroundings, admittedly because of me, but also because i'm an easy target.
I've increasingly become envious of cluster B more specifically dark triad or these days it's updated. I exclude BPD and histrionics those aren't beneficial (my sister has bpd)
I've done drugs to alter myself, i watch gore, i don't respond much to shocking imagery because of shizoid tendencies i have, but i do have feelings. I'm kind to animals etc.
My problems in general are of a social nature, i feel fine by myself, but anything with other people is no fun at all, i don't like people.
I would call myself a nihilist and a misanthrope but also a coward, i understand anxiety, i wish i would wake up as a genuine psychopath.
It sounds edgy and you can suggest i should top myself, but hear me out, in our society psychopathy is very beneficial, it's almost a cure all.
psychopaths have reduced connections between the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC). The part of the brain responsible for sentiments such as empathy and guilt, and the amygdala, which mediates fear and anxiety.
the neuroscientist James Fallon, he himself is a psychopath and he discovered this by reviewing scans of criminals brains. Abuse and bad upbringing is the difference between a pro-social and antisocial one. But also genetics. NOT solely upbringing.
I was always interested in psychology, if i was smarter i would've have studied it with criminology, it's just interesting. I'm not glorifying murderers, in a sense i think people should pay for their crimes.
All of this is meaningless anyway, but i just came to the conclusion in order to break the cycle of a abuse, the abused becomes the abuser, psychopathy CAN be the answer in certain situations.
Lobotomy, brain damage, drugs, callousness and exposure to violence, killing animals, it can all amount to advancing the spectrum of psychopathy. I guess i'm just a weak individual looking for a way out.
this gives you an idea as to why someone bound to negative emotion would want to be a psychopath
You'll find people online throwing labels of narcissist personality disorder and sociopathy left and right. If someone doesn't like you, you're a "gaslighting" narcissist.
usually when you don't like someone you don't go into a psychotic bend on trying to get at that person and ruin their lives/reputation
Insults and not liking someone is normal even talking behind their backs if you're that way, but taking calculated steps and using manipulation tactics isn't normal behaviour.
You can't seriously label someone online as a psychopath or a narc because it's just words on a screen, you don't really know me nor do i know you.
also FIY narcs don't gaslight, they believe their lies unlike sociopaths and psychopaths they DO use gaslighting tactics