i am going to attempt writing something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for quite some time now. somehow though, every time i think about trying, the particulars of how i'm going to go about it seem to escape my mind without a trace. maybe it's my low mood and motivation, maybe it's the insufficient nature of language in terms of truly describing what i want to say. but regardless, it is difficult. i will still try, though. i've made some good progress just typing this much, so maybe this is the night.
anyways though. as i mentioned, at this point i believe language to be largely unhelpful in terms of truly putting across what i want to put across. so, i figure it would be best to start instead with a few things intended to stimulate your own mind, your own feelings, rather than the ones i impart unto you through words.
first of all, notice the image i've attached to this opening post. have you seen it before? does it make you feel anything, and if so, what? look at it for a while, immerse yourself in it, imagine you're really there. perhaps you'll feel silly doing this, but really try.
now, consider these questions:
does this so-called "reality" seem right to you? does it feel right?
are you really in the right place, at the right time?
everything that led up to this point, consider it. everything in your life, everything in this world. it had to happen, didn't it?
what year is it, what time, what date? where are you? who are you?
what does it mean? does any of it mean anything, anything at all? what does it mean to you?
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