I am a furry. I don't wear fursuits, participate in swinger/lgbt culture, imagine myself as a wolf-man, or interact with the furry subculture. That can all be burnt to the ground. I do find anthropomorphic animals (anthros) intriguing, I am captivated by their form. Some of this interest must have been innate but some was developed when I read a lot of science fiction, particularly in puberty I became intrigued by aliens/xenos after reading a passage in a space opera book where the protagonist is captured by an alien society, becomes a part of that society, and eventually marries an alien.
Until recently, my dominant interest in life was to become a scientist. I wanted to create something useful, elegant, something new and beautiful. I had this dream phrased in these words since I was 5 years old. But recently I became disillusioned with the fate of academics, scientists, mathematicians and others who spend their whole lives solving challenging problems, trying to get a solution. And this solution they get is either something that is used 100+ years later to solve another problem, or is useful in circumstances that are very far away from the lives of most people, and very far away from the academic's personal life. I don't want to be an academic that works his whole life, with his magnum opus — creating a new heat resistant graphene, or some other thing I can live without. I want to create something that would affect my life, and I want to create something beautiful. I want to create anthros.
There is a degree of waifuism associated with this desire, my perfect anthro wife is allowed to be perfect because she doesn't exist. Media shows anime girls, cyborgs, robots, etc, to be clean and attractive, perfect and better than humans. But even if anthros were to be different from this ideal, if they could be fat, stupid, greedy, lazy, if they would have bad instincts or if some would be deformed, if they would be no more perfect than normal people, I would still want to create them. Because to me that would be what I want and to me that would be beautiful.
I'm not alive by accident, or for free, I am given this life as a result of an endless chain of improbable occurrences, from the big bang to the circumstances surrounding my individual life. Because of this I feel indebted to pursue a beautiful dream, with my conscience dictating my will. Now I've been on this site (with breaks) for over three years and this is my firstPost too long. Click here to view the full text.