I've always found it quite bizarre how drawn I am to play complete trash, over games that I know I'd probably enjoy & find a great deal of effective, long-term escapism in. As some examples, instead of diving into something like Homeworld Remastered, or Arcanum, or Vampire The Masquerade, or The Witcher 2/3, or Skyrim, or Fallout New Vegas, or the hundreds of available ROMs & ISOs of classic games, all of which I've never played before, I instead, mostly play short, mechanically repetitive, indie trash. Crap like ECHO, or AER: Memories of Old, or Downward, or Styx: Shards of Darkness, and it just drives me crazy. Why do I waste my life playing games that are far inferior to other, better games that I've never played before? It boggles my mind. It's like having a gourmet meal in front of you and choosing to eat from whatever's in the shit encrusted trash can out in the piss covered alleyway instead. If I had to give an answer as to why, I'd say laziness. On some level it makes perfect sense, given my overwhelmingly lazy sensibilities, to play short, inoffensive garbage that I can finish from anywhere to 1 to 10 hours, as opposed to long sweeping games that require many times that amount to get through. It's easier, in a bizarrely masochistic sense, to play a short shitty game, than a long good game. It just feels like too much effort to sit down and play a game that I know is considered a classic and is something I'll probably like. It's almost like the expectation it will be good wears me out on an emotional level and playing something more mediocre & dismissable instead seems far easier & more doable. I have to be in a very unique mood to play a good game, otherwise I just seem to stick to the same sort of bland porridge overflowing on Steam and elsewhere that I've listed above. Anyway, I don't know. I just wish I wasn't like this. I have such copious amounts of time to devote to gaming and the way I waste, piss & squander it away like this, never fails to bother me.
I still haven't even finished Stalker: SoC with the OGSE mod, despite enjoying it quite a bit. Granted I got a bit too bogged down with the side quests (never made it the Red Forest, for instance), and the constant running back between zones got pretty tedious (even with the addition of vehicles, despite how impractical they are given the terrain & enemy spawns). Instead I play shit like Attack of the Earthlings, or Solstice Chronicles MIA, or Tartarus, or so
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