/wiz/ - Wizardry

Hey wizzies, I feel the need to classify and understand myself but I'm having trouble with that.

I stay inside when possible but I regularly have to go to appointments (therapy, psychiatry). I am forced out of my shell by obligation. I isolate at home but keep a functional tether to the world via appointments. I do not go outside for fun, I have no IRL friends but some online. I have enough food at home to last me 3 weeks so I don't need to get groceries or accept deliveries. I am very scared when outside. I am NEETing and depend on rehabilitation money.

I am not a hikkimori, what am I?

I can't mentally relate to a regular 40 year old in any shape or form. People who already have 20 year careers or are even CEO's. While I still replay old SNES games on emulators and work a basic job while taking care of an elderly parent who needs assistance for almost everything.

when my IVF wizkids grow up and turn 18 they'll be posting on wiz, hob, lounge, jp, and games
never on dep
that'll mean I was a good wizdad
my lolis by that age would have their own witchie site they created by using a programming language
they'll post about astrology, make up, boybands, harry potter books and also discuss high literature like Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, they will also have a game board where they will post videos of The Sims videogames as well as maybe some new game similar to stardew valley which they will like to play as well

In my daily life, I'm always hurt by others or hurt others, and that's normal. Therefore, I decided to be alone and create content on YouTube instead of constantly hurting and being hurt, I hate everyone but sorry I have to speak frankly here.

It's hard to forget the past, to be honest, it almost frustrates me. Do I have to pay for my past mistakes by isolating myself for the rest of my life? But those cunning people used me in the past to make me feel wrong and evil, making me feel guilty until now. Do those cunning people also feel guilty for what they did to me in the past, or am I the only one who feels guilty for my mistakes?
Everyone has their own problems, yes, I agree with that. Making me hate everyone and isolating myself is very mentally exhausting. Honestly, I thought being hurt or hurting others was not normal, but strangely enough, it is normal for everyone.

I think that today, autistic and witchy people have a huge advantage over neurotypical people. We have extensive knowledge on a wide variety of subjects, we are determined in the face of adversity, and even if we are socially awkward or find it difficult to talk to people (this is my case, I am socially isolated) we can come together in these spaces and stop forcing social contact with neighbors or parents who ask us for the umpteenth time why we still don't have any friends or a girlfriend. Personally, I'd rather go online to investigate the Epstein case than have friends, and I think that's the case for many of you here. The others are completely ridiculous with their social codes to follow. They restrict themselves in terms of intellectual capacity in a completely stupid way to appear socially acceptable because the norm prefers a dumb athlete to a brilliant intellectual. That's why most people prefer athletes like soccer players or basketball players to Gregori Perelman, who solved Poincaré's conjecture. This whole circus is completely ridiculous. People make fun of their neighbors when they themselves are stupid, but to reassure themselves, they say that others are stupid and criticize us because we are not “within the norm.” We do not accept the social contract imposed by popular dogma, which wants us to we criticize to reassure ourselves without accumulating knowledge. Also, do people really compare their time spent on TikTok or Instagram to the knowledge in books, articles, and other sources before criticizing others? Maybe we should look in the mirror and accept that we are trash in order to change and follow a virtuous path that respects others. That's why we're here discussing this: we need to create a close-knit community and distance ourselves from the idiots who criticize us, keeping only those who understand us.And besides, it's not AI that's going to save these idiots. They need to rediscover what it means to read books, to dream, and to use their brains.

Stepped on the scale today and realized that despite the initial "push" from a medical crisis a year ago, I basically regained all weight I lost (minus 5-10kg).
I also realized I've been working for almost 3 years now, going to be 30 the same week I'll hit my 3 years of work too.
3 years… of wages wasted.

I don't even know what the fuck I spent most of it on. It just escapes me.
Still live with mom and all my necessities are taken care of she takes nothing from me.
I had a blessed opportunity these past 3 years to save up for the dogshit future that hit the world now and I wasted it on toys and basically indulging all I couldn't as a NEET with no money.
The worst is that since I'm an impulsive retard I mostly have nothing to show for it either.

Health is even more fucked then ever before since I never took action.
Rather every action that didn't prove fruitful or flat out failed resulted in my absolute surrender for another month or three or six…
Absolutely defeated at the starting line basically.

To get to the point of this thread. Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?
I barely have a sense of time. Kinda like when I was a NEET, just instead of 12-16 hours of sleeping and then PC stuff I'm forced to work a rather easy, blessed job.
Once it passes I just feel like I'm teleported to the next shift until I get to sleep through a weekend and months pass.
Even chronic pains don't make me act much. What does one even do to live?

The worst part really is that so many years went down the drain and I really have nothing to show for it. Not even memories.
I want to at least look back on SOMETHING fondly when I'm dying someday.
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what are some media with wizard-like characters? I say Wozzeck is a good example (although he has sex and a child). He is basically a low ranking soldier in the German army who is experimented on by a psychiatrist who forces him on a diet entirely consisting of beans and continually gaslights him. He is also belittled and ordered around by the Captain. At the end of the opera, he loses his mind and drowns himself in a lake.

The term „wizard“ is cool but I’m 18 and still a big fat virgin, I want a cool title too!

When you watch, read or listen to something, do you prefer to avoid that something's subject matter being humans? I assume most if not all here share a dislike for NORPs/normalscum/NPCs, yet it was occurring to me that it is odd that I should make an exception for my dislike of them when it comes to fiction. Obviously I think our dislike of normal people comes from who they are rather than what they are, so I think sufficiently weird humans like ourselves, or aliens with human appearance, aren't necessarily excluded. It doesn't necessarily need to be restricted to fiction either, people who mainly engage with the animal world, or impersonal sciences, strike me as commendably unengaged with the broader mass of humankind. But I'm most interested, I would say, in those here who do engage with things involving normal people and how they reconcile that with who they are and their beliefs.