No.183850[Reply]
I'm a longtime wizard and lurker who basically never posts. I just wanted to write a little about my experiences going off all computers and electronics for 15 months because of my extremely severe addiction to them. I had been reduced to a shell of a human being with a destroyed body (due to my OCD self-harm) and a destroyed mind from nearly-constant computer usage in my free time since I was a young child. I had basically become an automaton meat sack with no will. Overall, I would say my cold turkey method was successful, and I would recommend it to others if they have similar problems. The first few months with no electronics (no TV, phones, computers, anything) I was going through severe withdrawal and was completely avolitional and extremely depressed. The only thing I could all day was sit in my armchair and read, and occasionally go to the library. After many months of this I had garnered the willpower to actually do something, and since my days were completely blank since previously they had been filled non-stop with computer time, I decided to start studying Japanese which is something I had been thinking about for a long time but always incapable of because of my non-existent willpower. So I spent the next 10 months of my life doing basically absolutely nothing but studying Japanese for about 10 hours every day, sometimes a little more, sometimes less. At the end of that period I had reached about a N3 Level in Japanese which is where I'm still at. Now, you may be wondering, why I am back on the computer now after all this time? Well, because I started getting these extreme euphoric mood swings and I started to feel like maybe it would be okay to use a computer again (since initially I had planned to never use one again for the rest of my life), and also the temptation to use a computer again after all this time and see what had happened in the world was too strong. I regret it, but at the same time I feel much better prepared to handle computer usage in the future due to all the self-discipline and will-power I was able to accrue during the 15 months without it. I think I will probably go off computers again in the future, though not completely cold-turkey, using them occasionally if I need them for help studying. Anyway, that's basically all. I still feel like a shell of a human being with a disgusting ruined body, and that my mental and emotional development stopped at the age of 11, but at least I now have a tiny bit of a will and an interme
Post too long. Click here to view the full text. No.183971
>>183917If you are not capable of doing cold turkey because of your circumstances, I recommend limiting your screen time as much as you possibly can.
>>183902>>183902It did improve my mood considerably, it made less apathetic and suicidal, but now I have the clarity to see that that I suffer from quite severe mood swings and probably a personality disorder, I go from extremely depressed to almost manic within the course of a day. Also I get extremely depressed when I realize how much of my life I've wasted on this nonsense. Anyway, I'm glad you liked reading my story.
This is OP here, and this will probably be my last post on Wizchan and in this thread for good. I just want to give some final advice to any other wizards who are suffering from the same problem, I know there are more of you out there because I've seen threads like this before. I just want to say Computer / Electronic withdrawal is VERY REAL and do not be discouraged if you want to attempt some cold-turkey plan and start going through extreme withdrawal. You just have to power through the withdrawal until you start gaining your willpower back little by little. Also do not let ANYBODY tell you that electronics addiction is not real or not serious. It is extremely serious, and I have suffered from it ever since I was a small child, since I was 7 years old and just wanted to go on the computer and play games all day. It has plagued me my entire life, and nearly destroyed my life. You HAVE TO TAKE IT AS SERIOUSLY as you would a heroin addiction or something. If you are not capable of breaking it with your own will-power, and I was not, then you have to get somebody else to help you, your family members, parents, etc. Get rid of all electronics in your possession, sell them or give them to somebody to keep or you will abuse them if you have a severe addiction like I had. Remember that you DO NOT NEED electronics for anything, no matter what it might seem like in the modern world. I was able to live without them, and I even studied and learned a lot during that time using only books, the library, and pencil and paper alone.
Even now, after going over a year without using a single elec
Post too long. Click here to view the full text. No.183973
Well it's a shame OP won't read this, but I've tried some similar stuff. In fact, I haven't even been on any chans or such for around half a year, and only came back because imageboards satisfy my social needs.
I've been actively combatting internet/tech addiction since 2018 now, slowly learning more about myself and my relationship to tech. I've tried cold turkey, but that never lasted long because of mood swings, loneliness, and the fact that I need the internet for essential tasks like banking. What has worked, though, is banning or editing certain sites (eg. using an addon to block all social media sites, or using an addon to block every part of youtube that isn't my sub feed).
The thing that I noticed is really bad is that when I'm addicted to tech, it never even occurs to me to do anything other than turn my PC on and browse the net when I have free time. And this is despite the fact that I find the internet and games very boring and/or unappealing now (not sure if this is due to anhedonia, or just growing up). However, when I'm in a phase where I don't let myself use the PC, I suddenly have the desire to do my hobbies, namely cycling, reading, photography, music etc. That said, even in better times, I could never fill a weekend with enough to do, and I always got really bored, and ended up dreading the weekend because of it, despite being a wagie.
Currently I would definitely say I am addicted to tech and the internet, I use it almost constantly during free time, and even when working I always have a podcast on. I obsessively read the news because it's one of the few sites I allow myself to go on, and read most of the stories in the front page and refresh daily for my dopamine kick. I would ban myself from it, but it's difficult text in a foreign language, so I consider it beneficial on the whole for me.
At the moment I really don't feel like changing my addiction, and if anything, I would be fine with becoming "more addicted" if it meant I would become happier. If I could always enjoying using the net and playing video games, I would be content doing that every day until I die. The only reason I even started all of this was because in 2018 I started really not enjoying video games and the internet at all anymore, less and less. If I could go back to when I was 16, spending every free second at my PC and enjoying it, I would totally do it.
No.183976
>>183973Not you but similar experiences and I found I had to just give up on actually enjoying things or at least try to be content with spending my time doing something regardless of if it is offline or online since there is no enjoyment to be gained either way. If you can just enjoy yourself why try be "productive" as you said. So many people get into this trap of poisoning themselves in a way by ascribing lower value to entertaining themselves instead of doing something else without realizing it all serves the same purpose. Commonsense is needed to really understand this though.
good luck lainanon
No.183990
>>183976>ascribing lower value to entertaining themselves instead of doing something else without realizing it all serves the same purpose.totally agree, yeah. the other part is that they don't realize it's an inescapable cycle. complete one "productive" task, immedately become consumed by the next. it's all well and good if being productive makes you happy, but ultimately it's not better just in itself. it's a similar story with consumerism… people really want something, buy it, get bored of it, and then see the next thing they desire, buy it, get bored of it, and so it goes. But that's another topic
good luck to you as well :)
No.183993
>>183990People should reevaluate their evaluations and stop judging things as they appear to them erecting barriers that stand in the way of their own well being. It is one thing to punish yourself for doing something you like because you have decided you should feel guilty instead of doing something else you deem productive and another thing to refuse to follow your will when it is seeking its passion for some reason but in general people just need to chill out and live in the moment while being reasonable.
I used to spend all my time studying X or Y instead of actually doing something I enjoyed more because of my own stupidity and now I cannot even enjoy doing what I want lmao.
You mentioned consumerism and this is all quite connected at a fundamental level.. being naturally inclined to just enjoy yourself without understanding how everything is just a fucking meme of drudergy and eternal disatisfaction is probably better than digging deep to see the answer you cannot grasp because you have corrupted yourself from
being what is optimal by understanding the process itself.
One day at a time wiz, it will be over one day and after that well we can just hope it does not continue to get worse in whatever unfathomable way that could be.