/wiz/ - Wizardry

>>226421
key phrase:

>once you have it figured out.


sigh… I never did.

It's great - it really brings about a sense of agency.

And then invariably within about a week or so after making longer term plans something comes in to fuck it up.

That said, in the aggregate, the net accomplishment seems to be greater than grab-asstic idleness and opportunism.

I've been trying to brush my teeth everyday recently, that's the closest thing to a routine I have experienced in a long while and it just feels tedious to me.

I maintain my routine such that my tasks coincide with the daily uploads of a certain niche youtuber. It's pretty fun to finish what I'm doing and be rewarded with a 20-30 minute video to chill out to.

>>226421
i often wonder the opposite. Without my habits i am nothing. Like a deer in the headlights i am stunned by not being the one in charge of my routine.i can never bring myself to do something unusual without mentally preparing and declaring it to myself a hundred times before i do it. routine is my life. it is all i have left to control otherwise i really am a total slave

>>223542
>haven't we already established that therapy doesn't work?
it's just a paid "friend" for normies to cry to


so

much

this

I my case, it's all a mixed bag:

>>220360
relatable

>>220363
relatable

>>222438
relatable



>>224202

Same! Today, I woke up crying from a repressed memory piece too!

>>211629
I'm ugly and had undiagnosed autism(diagnosed in hs) for most of my upbringing so I didn't get proper treatment from people around me. My mother also abused me a lot because of it, I blame everything on her.

Can't say exactly. Bit of mental illness and spectrum stuff, I think, but I've never been to a doctor for brain related things.

Part of it is that I was the weird kid. Somehow I started lucid dreaming in kindergarten. This permanently messed up how I think about reality, but back then, it mostly meant that I believed alternate dimensions were real. So I'd think about alternate dimensions a lot and tell people I was visiting them (it was more live vivid daydreams), because I was already convinced I could visit "alternate dimensions" (dreams) and these were just weaker connections to them.

Most ignored me but a few kids kids would smile and nod or ask questions about whatever weird thing I was talking about, only to turn around and laugh with their friends about how weird I was. I usually didn't catch on to this for months or years at a time for each person who tried it. I have a very hard time trusting people now. I'm always listening in to people around me to make sure they're not talking about something I did.

I'm just really glad this was in the 90s. They probably could have pushed me to suicide in the era of social media and everyone having A/V recording devices in their pockets.

Another part of it is I am not someone I would ever want to live with. Mental space is not very good a lot of the time. I can be very mean/hurtful if it's not in a good state, and it hurts me a lot (usually as self-hate) when I hurt someone even a little. It didn't seem right to suggest this person as an option to anyone else.

It's been funny. I wasted my teenage years avoiding school and people in general and just played video games and was on the internet all day.
I continued this into my early adulthood, but I did make an effort going to college and working part time, but I didnt socialize that much, just vidya, anime, and internet.
Now for the past however long I've just been working my cushy office job making decent money I thought I'd never see.
But, at the end of all this, I'm playing the same exact video games, watching the same kind of anime, and reading the same crap on chan boards.
I would be lying if I didnt mention that I have made attempts to try normalfag things, but from I gather from those experiences is that you should just do things you enjoy after your responsibilities, which is hardly anything as a single man. Just have to make all the bills are paid, food in the kitchen, car working, and apartment clean.
I try to have more intellectual pursuits, like doing deeper study in my field of work or in philosophy, but these past few months I've been in limbo just doing the same old thing. And I'm content with it for the most part. Times like now I feel this weird nagging feeling OP is feeling that I should be doing more, but I fail to get motivated to do them because the reward just isnt that appealing.
Yeah, I can finish reading Kant, but to what end? Maybe that's what I need to do to satisfy this greater spiritual desire that I feel.
Almost like living on autopilot is antithetical to the human experience and it hungers for some greater satisfaction from exercising agency and exerting your will upon your life.

Sorry for the rambling. OP, if you're anything like me, achieving those goals will only do so much for you. I believe people that have had a persistent depression throughout their life are just gonna have to suffer with it, no matter what you do to do the things normals want you to do. You can get a good job, a big house, nice car, maybe even a wife that is amazing and kids that are great. Our brains are just wired to be pessimistic about life.
Assuming this to be true, the best course of action is to invest time into figuring out how you can manage all your brain dysfunctions. At least that way you dont set yourself up for disappointment when you do accomplish your goals.
Life is just underwhelming.

>>219448
Meanwhile, I am happy to reach the goals of my wiz-tier life. I am now an old geezer, who is all going mad over "damn kids and their damn bikes with damn sawn-off exhausts"

>>225532
>It's been funny. I wasted my teenage years avoiding school and people in general and just played video games and was on the internet all day


given the facts "internet censorship" society of nowadays + memology is a way to make money on a bullshit job of a white collar…


…well, you probably did a unique thing "drinking" unfiltered Internet 24/7 XD

>>225551
UPDATE: damn kid got rid of his retarded pitbike - the noisy RATATATATA is gone


also, I consume vitamins. Feels ebin

>>219448
>after…hit 30
>realized


lucky you

my "hit me" happened as a childhood "trauma" of my two parents abhoring each other to the point of criticizing me over a little nooky or cranky noise.

(Im kinda proud I have my job, at least. Its really comfy and cozy at time, and at other times, its demanding, but its also important - I handle spare parts for factories)

Imagine being this booty blasted over the internet. Get a job and commit to a creative enterprise. Your dumb ass should be able to amass 10k hours in 5 - 8 years. Then you'll have something other than stupid rants about leddit killing intenet celebrities. Oh and if you're white become a Nazi, too (srs). Get your act together, partner.

Every year that passes, I enjoy the internet and being on my computer less and less.
4chan went to shit years ago.
Most alternatives are too slow to justify checking more than once or twice a month.
YouTube's hasn't recommended me anything great in years.
The "small web" is mostly just dead, cookie-cutter sites that never have more than one or two blog posts on them.
Video games aren't as fun as they used to be, and I can hardly find the motivation to play them.

>>226338
This is also true, the overall quality of the internet has been deteriorating to the point real people are indistinguishable from bots

>>226339
Most people ARE soulless NPC biological automatons.

You only notice it now because in the past normies were a less than 0,1% minority on forums, imageboards
and websites in general. You only encountered their retardation in real life.

>>226040
I mostly use it for its intended purpose, as a limitless library to extract whatever media I fancy. Books, films, music, games - I torrent something to read/watch/listen/play every day, perks of living outside first world.

Sometimes I watch stuff on youtube or search things on google using the tag
>before:2012

Sometimes I think of something I want to research or read about and use alternative search engines such as Marginalia in order to dig out obscure blogs.

When I play games, I sometimes alt tab into the wiki or a thread on a forum discussing build paths, current quests, detailing a feature.

I also play an MMO so that's the only reason I'm on the internet for more than 2 hours a day.

>>224095
step 4 ruined successfully

axaxaxaxa

>>224984
>objectively "reality" does not exist, but applying logical thought to your observed reality is not wrong either
neither is it wrong to consciously forgo logical thought when you want to
i apply no logical thought when deciding whether i want 2 or 4 sausages



true, and that's COOL


You don't have to ration your food - you eat as much as you… WANT. Feel like. have vibe for. Have appetite about.

>>226360
Yeah, that's bullshit.

Most Americans eat as much as they feel like and they're obese.>>226360

I used to have online communities and small forums to keep my a lil company. although even then, i was an all biz, stay on topic guy, not really into the social aspects. but now all those small forums are dying out, and im truly stuck with just my own brain. not even text on a screen not wrote by me or ai

>>224136
>yeah i feel lonely online these days but it wasn't always like this
in the old days i think everyone had their "perfect self" persona on display online - basically being who they truly are - like a funny goofball, super serious guy, angry guy, pseudo intellectual, weeabu, etc

actually, yes. that was the case

>>225673
Did you find your schizo meds yet?

Ldar is ok but dont think your entitled to gibs

>>225673
This "delusion" comes from not being able to hold a job or being bullied and disrespected all life

>>225714

In the same lane - only being able to handle a "the only guy at the facility at the time" type of job

no colleagues
homeschooled
only one boss, e.g. there's no bunch of corporate squeakies looking over my shoulder writting down "subject WIZ412D is displaying a drop of efficincy of 1% which is undermining…"

no subordinates

can have a cozy time at jerb

can find some time to phone utility company to ask what kind of prank have they pulled out

>>222236
as someone from a chain of fatherless people… frick it. my heda sparkls a little. gotta sleep

>>225313
Goback2vault, dweller

>>220551
Found a professional-grade stationary bike by the side of the road and it still works. The mechanism that controls the level of resistance is all electromagnetic and quiet as a whisper. Gets my heart rate up decently. Omw to being a fitwiz.

>>220558
yess, it isn't a big deal, some wizards exaggerate, and I think that they like crying sometimes

you need to seek help. and im not talking about your body

>>221170
>I can't afford a dentist or a 12000 dollar operation on my root canals. I can afford a tub of toothpaste


its 25000 RUB in Moscow, broplems werent

Nothing makes you happy, even that buddhist "inner peace" bs wont because you cant make you happy either.

The hedonic treadmill is rhe principle that pain and pleasure are what motivate us to do anything, an effect of this theory is that you can never be happy or sad for long, you normalize to whatever you have, which means you take joy in anything more, and feel bad about anything less. Happiness and sadness are fleeting emphemeral liminal states of being, little rewards or punishments your brain gives you to make you more likely to chase that next high and flee from that next low.

>>226316
>Nothing makes you happy
t. the raped. If nothing makes YOU happy, then say
>nothing makes me happy

Imagine if would get like 100k per month for the rest of your life, would that help you?

>>226318
If I got 2000 usd monthly for the rest of my life I'd be over the top happy.

>>226309
Flying a plane in 65, however..

>>226222
I think you should just give up.
I used to think that giving up was wrong and pointless, but at some point life kicks you down so hard, there is just no getting back.
So some people just lay there facing the music.
One thing that might work is to get a hobby of sorts, something that would create a routine, something with progression system like in vydia, but IRL.
Here's a can in the hat, look at his whiskers!

>>226298
So, it's just give up and LARD?

>>226302
Yeah, sometimes I wish I would die and isekied into magical world, where I can start from scratch, with no regrets, clean and fresh start, sucks that we only live once, and I blew my chances away

>>226298
Yes, I agree with you. I've simply given up. Honestly, I have an elderly mother who feeds me and works for a living wage in my third-world country. When she dies, I'll be homeless or sent to an insane asylum (but I'll hang myself). I've already resigned myself to this. I spent a long time looking for work, trying to "get a couple of things done a day" or just somehow cope with life. But I realized that fighting is pointless; you can't defeat a system that's rigged against you (you can suffer from hunger and the like, it doesn't care, just like the normies do). I live in a small town and have a bad work history (I worked at the lowest levels when I was younger), but now, due to my health, I can't even do that (I haven't worked for over 3 years, and in fact, I've only worked for 2 years my entire adult life, since I'm 28). Plus, I live in an Eastern European country where you only need $500 a month to survive. My only chance is a $250 job at best. So why change anything? It's time to just accept that we're all going to die.

But I heard a good joke about a guy who's going to be beheaded tomorrow, and he decides to play sports in his cell. When asked "why?" he replies that he just likes sports. I realized the same thing about myself. I'll just spend the time I have free time enjoying myself. I don't have money for hobbies, so I'll just do what I have time for. And I advise everyone to do what they enjoy, because we're all going to die anyway. We're all going to die. We just have to accept that we're losers.

>>226222
>last job I got was 5 years ago
I have a job now and the looming threat of losing it by being sperg + everyone secretly hating me for being a sperg makes me want to kill myself. I'm destroying my body and swallowing my pride as a human being for a few measly slave bucks a week. I'll never get to make something of myself because the depression swallows me up and I have to save all of my energy for work.
My future is a black hole

>>226294
i have tried cutting myself off from other people but that way i wont make any money to buy a cabin in the woods and pay off the gov

Even remote jobs like park ranger require talking to people (and the most annoying rule breaking ones at that).

I just punch in, do my 8 hours, brush off the occasional dingus that tries to "break me out of my shell" - drag me out to bars or game night… pushy people drive me nuts. Then I go home to my quiet ass house and avoid the neighbors - life's pretty ok that way.

Make your own food, ideally get into crypto, buy solar panels and Musks internets from space.
You don't need much money, just food, energy, internets, and warm shelter.

>>226299
is musk's internet any good?

>>226301
I don't like the guy as a person, but Starlink beats any other form of internet connection when you're far from cities and only have 2g/3g towers that may or may not work intermittently.

With Starlink you get 100-200mb/s in the middle of bumfuck nowhere with zero cell towers anywhere, so it's really a miracle in a way.
But it doesn't come super cheap, it's 50 bucks a month, and the modem is 175 bucks but that lasts for decades.