I wish I had the brain of my childhood self, being curious and able to enjoy things. Nothing is enjoyable anymore, just painful and unnecessary.
I hate the separation between childish things and adult things in general. The childish spirit that people are born with should remain with them for life, but at the same time they should be prepared for the real world as early as possible. In modern society, it's the opposite. The "childish" spirit of curiosity, openness, enthusiasm, etc. is lost early on; destroyed by modern education, parenting and oversocialization in general. Yet children are not prepared for life either, they're coddled by their parents, rarely taught any valuable skills that would make them self-reliant, hardship or discomfort is avoided no matter what. They're placed in a bubble where everything is colorful, happy, safe and sanitized. But they're not allowed to venture outside of the bubble to fulfill their desire for exploration which allows them to grow into robust people. Then, after many years of schooling which consists mostly of learning to be obedient and regurgitate often useless information, the bubble is popped and the child is thrust into the cold, harsh world of adulthood and expected to know what to do, all while their enthusiasm and creativity have been crushed.
Also, once they become an adult, they're expected to abandon their "childish" interests and focus on their career, with maybe a couple consumption-based hobbies allowed in their meager spare time. I remember when I was a kid I enjoyed many different things like fantasy games, anime, baseball, drawing, musical instruments, etc. But something changed when I was around 13 that made me view all of those things as childish (probably teachers brainwashing me about grades and getting into college), so I decided to "grow up" and focus on studying instead. I even started watching the news and getting into politics to really seem mature. When a boring little faggot I became. I remember that's the point I started to become depressed and had trouble keeping friends because I was so boring. The only hobby I maintained was video games, but I only played FPS and strategy games since I saw those as being more mature. Only recently have I rediscovered some of the things I used to enjoy, but it'll never be quite the same.
There is a lot of brain washing today. Hedonic brain washing, societal brain washing, society telling you what you should desire and what type of person you should try to become. This is a very heavy force that starts from a very young age. However this brain washing is not total. A person's individuality is also asserted as a person develops and as a person is brain-washed. Maturity is having the introspection to reassert your individuality, to try and make your individuality be the telos of your life.>>182861
You seem to be in a dump. I was in a similarly low state. I'll go over the mentality that got me out of my depression.
You are in college, right? So you are learning something abstract and powerful. This should also be a part of your individual self-expression, not watching the same kind of anime that you did when you were young. Everything of note, every ideal, every skill that you hold, should be synthesized into one idea, and you should pursue this to the fullest. This final expression of individuality, it will probably be something no one else can understand, not here, not in real life, nowhere, but it will be something that is worth doing.
>>180311>You are in college, right?
No I already graduated college and have been floating between jobs since. The only class I recall taking that felt "abstract and powerful" was a philosophy class where the professor actually challenged us to think on our own. And only a handful of students in the entire class were capable of it, the rest expected to be spoon-fed. The other classes were just memorizing information to pass exams.
Nearly everything of value I've learned has been through attempts to accomplish things on my own. That's why I think it's best to let kids just explore things themselves, so they can learn from their mistakes, learn what they like, what they're good at. Perhaps with a mentor to give guidance, rather than having their hand held all along the way. And this is a better way to develop one's individuality than reading textbooks or listening to lectures.
Don't tempt me. I can't go back to prison.