/wiz/ - Wizardry

>>226421
key phrase:

>once you have it figured out.


sigh… I never did.

It's great - it really brings about a sense of agency.

And then invariably within about a week or so after making longer term plans something comes in to fuck it up.

That said, in the aggregate, the net accomplishment seems to be greater than grab-asstic idleness and opportunism.

I've been trying to brush my teeth everyday recently, that's the closest thing to a routine I have experienced in a long while and it just feels tedious to me.

I maintain my routine such that my tasks coincide with the daily uploads of a certain niche youtuber. It's pretty fun to finish what I'm doing and be rewarded with a 20-30 minute video to chill out to.

>>226421
i often wonder the opposite. Without my habits i am nothing. Like a deer in the headlights i am stunned by not being the one in charge of my routine.i can never bring myself to do something unusual without mentally preparing and declaring it to myself a hundred times before i do it. routine is my life. it is all i have left to control otherwise i really am a total slave

>>223542
>haven't we already established that therapy doesn't work?
it's just a paid "friend" for normies to cry to


so

much

this

I my case, it's all a mixed bag:

>>220360
relatable

>>220363
relatable

>>222438
relatable



>>224202

Same! Today, I woke up crying from a repressed memory piece too!

>>211629
I'm ugly and had undiagnosed autism(diagnosed in hs) for most of my upbringing so I didn't get proper treatment from people around me. My mother also abused me a lot because of it, I blame everything on her.

Can't say exactly. Bit of mental illness and spectrum stuff, I think, but I've never been to a doctor for brain related things.

Part of it is that I was the weird kid. Somehow I started lucid dreaming in kindergarten. This permanently messed up how I think about reality, but back then, it mostly meant that I believed alternate dimensions were real. So I'd think about alternate dimensions a lot and tell people I was visiting them (it was more live vivid daydreams), because I was already convinced I could visit "alternate dimensions" (dreams) and these were just weaker connections to them.

Most ignored me but a few kids kids would smile and nod or ask questions about whatever weird thing I was talking about, only to turn around and laugh with their friends about how weird I was. I usually didn't catch on to this for months or years at a time for each person who tried it. I have a very hard time trusting people now. I'm always listening in to people around me to make sure they're not talking about something I did.

I'm just really glad this was in the 90s. They probably could have pushed me to suicide in the era of social media and everyone having A/V recording devices in their pockets.

Another part of it is I am not someone I would ever want to live with. Mental space is not very good a lot of the time. I can be very mean/hurtful if it's not in a good state, and it hurts me a lot (usually as self-hate) when I hurt someone even a little. It didn't seem right to suggest this person as an option to anyone else.

It's been funny. I wasted my teenage years avoiding school and people in general and just played video games and was on the internet all day.
I continued this into my early adulthood, but I did make an effort going to college and working part time, but I didnt socialize that much, just vidya, anime, and internet.
Now for the past however long I've just been working my cushy office job making decent money I thought I'd never see.
But, at the end of all this, I'm playing the same exact video games, watching the same kind of anime, and reading the same crap on chan boards.
I would be lying if I didnt mention that I have made attempts to try normalfag things, but from I gather from those experiences is that you should just do things you enjoy after your responsibilities, which is hardly anything as a single man. Just have to make all the bills are paid, food in the kitchen, car working, and apartment clean.
I try to have more intellectual pursuits, like doing deeper study in my field of work or in philosophy, but these past few months I've been in limbo just doing the same old thing. And I'm content with it for the most part. Times like now I feel this weird nagging feeling OP is feeling that I should be doing more, but I fail to get motivated to do them because the reward just isnt that appealing.
Yeah, I can finish reading Kant, but to what end? Maybe that's what I need to do to satisfy this greater spiritual desire that I feel.
Almost like living on autopilot is antithetical to the human experience and it hungers for some greater satisfaction from exercising agency and exerting your will upon your life.

Sorry for the rambling. OP, if you're anything like me, achieving those goals will only do so much for you. I believe people that have had a persistent depression throughout their life are just gonna have to suffer with it, no matter what you do to do the things normals want you to do. You can get a good job, a big house, nice car, maybe even a wife that is amazing and kids that are great. Our brains are just wired to be pessimistic about life.
Assuming this to be true, the best course of action is to invest time into figuring out how you can manage all your brain dysfunctions. At least that way you dont set yourself up for disappointment when you do accomplish your goals.
Life is just underwhelming.

>>219448
Meanwhile, I am happy to reach the goals of my wiz-tier life. I am now an old geezer, who is all going mad over "damn kids and their damn bikes with damn sawn-off exhausts"

>>225532
>It's been funny. I wasted my teenage years avoiding school and people in general and just played video games and was on the internet all day


given the facts "internet censorship" society of nowadays + memology is a way to make money on a bullshit job of a white collar…


…well, you probably did a unique thing "drinking" unfiltered Internet 24/7 XD

>>225551
UPDATE: damn kid got rid of his retarded pitbike - the noisy RATATATATA is gone


also, I consume vitamins. Feels ebin

>>219448
>after…hit 30
>realized


lucky you

my "hit me" happened as a childhood "trauma" of my two parents abhoring each other to the point of criticizing me over a little nooky or cranky noise.

(Im kinda proud I have my job, at least. Its really comfy and cozy at time, and at other times, its demanding, but its also important - I handle spare parts for factories)

Imagine being this booty blasted over the internet. Get a job and commit to a creative enterprise. Your dumb ass should be able to amass 10k hours in 5 - 8 years. Then you'll have something other than stupid rants about leddit killing intenet celebrities. Oh and if you're white become a Nazi, too (srs). Get your act together, partner.

Every year that passes, I enjoy the internet and being on my computer less and less.
4chan went to shit years ago.
Most alternatives are too slow to justify checking more than once or twice a month.
YouTube's hasn't recommended me anything great in years.
The "small web" is mostly just dead, cookie-cutter sites that never have more than one or two blog posts on them.
Video games aren't as fun as they used to be, and I can hardly find the motivation to play them.

>>226338
This is also true, the overall quality of the internet has been deteriorating to the point real people are indistinguishable from bots

>>226339
Most people ARE soulless NPC biological automatons.

You only notice it now because in the past normies were a less than 0,1% minority on forums, imageboards
and websites in general. You only encountered their retardation in real life.

>>226040
I mostly use it for its intended purpose, as a limitless library to extract whatever media I fancy. Books, films, music, games - I torrent something to read/watch/listen/play every day, perks of living outside first world.

Sometimes I watch stuff on youtube or search things on google using the tag
>before:2012

Sometimes I think of something I want to research or read about and use alternative search engines such as Marginalia in order to dig out obscure blogs.

When I play games, I sometimes alt tab into the wiki or a thread on a forum discussing build paths, current quests, detailing a feature.

I also play an MMO so that's the only reason I'm on the internet for more than 2 hours a day.

>>224095
step 4 ruined successfully

axaxaxaxa

>>224984
>objectively "reality" does not exist, but applying logical thought to your observed reality is not wrong either
neither is it wrong to consciously forgo logical thought when you want to
i apply no logical thought when deciding whether i want 2 or 4 sausages



true, and that's COOL


You don't have to ration your food - you eat as much as you… WANT. Feel like. have vibe for. Have appetite about.

>>226360
Yeah, that's bullshit.

Most Americans eat as much as they feel like and they're obese.>>226360

I used to have online communities and small forums to keep my a lil company. although even then, i was an all biz, stay on topic guy, not really into the social aspects. but now all those small forums are dying out, and im truly stuck with just my own brain. not even text on a screen not wrote by me or ai

>>224136
>yeah i feel lonely online these days but it wasn't always like this
in the old days i think everyone had their "perfect self" persona on display online - basically being who they truly are - like a funny goofball, super serious guy, angry guy, pseudo intellectual, weeabu, etc

actually, yes. that was the case

>>225673
Did you find your schizo meds yet?

Ldar is ok but dont think your entitled to gibs

>>225673
This "delusion" comes from not being able to hold a job or being bullied and disrespected all life

>>225714

In the same lane - only being able to handle a "the only guy at the facility at the time" type of job

no colleagues
homeschooled
only one boss, e.g. there's no bunch of corporate squeakies looking over my shoulder writting down "subject WIZ412D is displaying a drop of efficincy of 1% which is undermining…"

no subordinates

can have a cozy time at jerb

can find some time to phone utility company to ask what kind of prank have they pulled out

>>222236
as someone from a chain of fatherless people… frick it. my heda sparkls a little. gotta sleep

>>226268
we are not always correct about our perceptions. have you never made a mistake?

>>226269
No, never. The world is as evil as it appears, if not more.

>>226268
Delusional take, CBT is quiet useful, it actually help a person to have a more truthful view of the world instead of just believing in every bullshit you think, learn critical thinking.

When your thoughts are distorted enough to for them to be harmful it will probably be hard for you to identify on your own.

This is why it is important to have a trustworthy support group and why you can't give therapy to yourself.

>>226272
I agree that therapy has an important role that probably can't be replaced, but leaving all mental care work to be done in the presence and with the approval of someone with authority is a bad idea.
Learning some basic stuff to take care of ourselves can help.

Normalfaggotry is modernity-induced normopathy rather than simply being normal

>>226228
An autist or a tranny can be more of a normie than a normal person

>>226229
>>226228
Imo this is the authentic wizard way of looking at it, seeing past false pretenses especially in a time where normies call others normies

>>226211
>You can be these things and still be a normalfag.
In principle, yes. In practice, past the age of 30, no.

>>226230
>where normies call others normies
That was truly bizarre the first time I witnessed that in the wild. Some lady was upset that another lady was on different socials or something inane, calling her a normie was the best she had for cutting her down. Pot meet kettle I guess.

>>226187
I can't make it comfy anymore, this way of living was alright at first but now it's hell. I lost all the passion. I will off myself soon.

>>226197
Try getting good sleep before you do anything rash. Chances are you'll feel much better when your brain is adequately rested. Maybe you can go for a walk or something, go to a store to look at books or electronics or whatever is your thing.

>>226201
thank you wiz, i'll try to go on a walk today when I feel like i'm about to fall asleep.

>>226219
No problem, good on you! Keep us posted on how it goes

>>223939
you reach a point where you realize that everything is SHIT or headed that direction…do what makes you happy as MR wizard said in every episode "be just what you is; not what you is not; folks what does this has the happiest lot''…

>>220952
i have endured far less than my married friends all but 1 of whom isn't dead simply because he is irish, a total asshole pos sob, why his wife hasn't shanked him i do not know… he is a blight on the human race; the absolute negative equal of the worst jews i have ever met… i see the misery around me because of stupid selfish woe-to-men…now get this; he is a certified minister of one of the most conservative cults in the world; (think SDA/WACO with a bad attitude)… how he has made it to 70 years without a dozen knife / bullet wounds is a mystery to me …

>>223956
Frankly, I have reached a point where feeling like useless shit is useless shit itself, so I… keep moving

>>220671
>Don't give up; information is free for the taking.
That's going to go away with the recent trend of OSA laws, leaving many people without the tools to independently solve their own problems.

>>223864
>the horrors and miseries i have seen people inflict on each other for the most pointless reasons; makes me wonder where (do we go to/go from here)?
With surveillance there are going to be more people in your personal life without benefiting you and with OSA and shadow-banning, you won't be able to complain either.

The elders had it way better.

>>223956
SPQRians kept dropping that Capre diem lit meme ayyyyy

shit's shit, but sometimes it's fire and lit