No.186014[Reply]
Hello, /wiz/. I'm not a wizard, but I've chosen to become one.
I'm 20, male, NEET, and I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, which seemingly runs in the family: My late mother had it before me and so did her mother. That is why I'm here on Wizchan. I feel lost in a forest.
While it is a depressing matter, because of schizophrenic apathy, I'm not much distressed: Only a little, partially because I was never interested in succubi or men, though I admit I have a friend that I Platonically love; meanwhile, a doctor friend has told me that it's highly likely that I will pass it onto my my children, should I have any, and I've decided not to marry and not to have children. I don't want to burden anyone. I am a menace to myself and others. I was always aware something was wrong with me, but I never even feared it would be something so drastic.
I'm unsure what to think, say and do. I'm here for guidance, though I can't explain what that entails. All I feel is confirmed that I must remove myself from mankind: I am a menace to myself and others. I'm unsure what to think, say and do. Guide me, /wiz/. I'm the runt of the litter. I wanted to extraordinary, but all I've managed to become is unordinary. Please, guide me.
12 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. No.186027
>>186025OO, OO! financial advice. I'm a neet, a hikki neet actually,so I don't have much sadly, but every time someone has troubles I always recommend this to em:
Maybe you could get into 3d modelling, and slowly model a shitload of assets and put em up for sale on sites like Sketchfab, and just get professional-tier skill in say, Blender for example and slowly build up your assets over multiple years until all combined you have a steady stream of passive income to take care of you. I dunno if this would work cause I never had to try it myself, but I'm putting the idea out there at-risk someone accuses me of, I dunno breaking some rule here or something by posting too much or something. I don't really know the customs on wizchan anymore, I haven't gone on here regularly since lik 2018
No.186028
>>186026I've been taking anti-psychotic drugs for a few days now and I've been benefiting from them.
I am intellectually aware that I will die, but not emotionally, but even so, death does not seem so intimidating as does a life as such.
>>186027That is good advice, anon. I have a different idea, though: I plan to study CS and I am learning programming by myself. I love programming. Few things give me as much tranquility and satisfaction as coding and mathematics do.
No.186029
>>186027>Maybe you could get into 3d modelling, and slowly model a shitload of assets and put em up for sale on sites like Sketchfab,I tried exactly this back in 2013 to 2016. I had a few sales and even saw some of my free guns used in games, but the reality is that you're making pennies to the dollar. Creative asset sites take >75% in most cases, and when it's time to cash out, they insist on doing everything "by the book" in terms of taxes and filing gains and such. Unless you're making thousands in sales, it'll be hard to break the +1$ per hour working threshold. Additionally, the market for assets is so over-saturated that anything can be found already, and probably for cheaper and better than someone who has just gotten in to modelling could do. Regard markets such as Sketchfab more of a portfolio sharing website, where potential employers or commissioners can pay a small fee to download and deconstruct your work to get a better sense if you're up to their task.
3D modelling is fun though and there is money to be made, but in more creative ways. Rule34 commissions, funny meme animations for Youtube adbux, and doing the non-creative gruntwork like unwrapping and rigging on Fiverr.
No.186030
>>186028>I've been taking anti-psychotic drugs for a few days now and I've been benefiting from them.I am intellectually aware that I will die, but not emotionally, but even so, death does not seem so intimidating as does a life as such.
Oh perfect, you're benefiting from em. Yeah man when you said you were schizophrenic I was scared for you for a minute man. My mom was schizophrenic. Occasionally she had some really horrible times from what I've heard, but I didnt really know her she was, lol, a promiscuous drug addict haha.. I'm really glad she died early on in my life cause she caused alotta trouble and in death she could cause no more. Someday they might cure that shit man, hold out. Ya never know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Then you'll be left with nothing but your big heart despite the cruel world you were thrusted into
>That is good advice, anon. I have a different idea, though: I plan to study CS and I am learning programming by myself. I love programming. Few things give me as much tranquility and satisfaction as coding and mathematics do.oooohoohoohoo, that sounds cool. Yeah I do some small game design stuff for Garry's Mod currently, my biggest pitfall is coding. You can do anything with coding man, pretty cool. I don't know anything about it and have no advice for it but go for it man! You're lucky to have a passion for something. I was unfortunate enough that the only thing I really ever significantly enjoyed was the occult but well, that's a completel clusterfuck and basically what I realized after half a decade in it was that it's basically just advanced lost technology and modern society just doesn't really have much to offer in that area
No.186031
>>186029oh, that's sad, thanks for the advice. And yeah lol, "34". I remember making a Fiverr for Gmod playermodels a few months ago that I literally lost all motivation to maintain within a few days, but my motto was figuratively "I'll do whatever the fuck you want - keyword "fuck", but lol sadly Fiverr wouldn't allow pornographic content