/wiz/ - Wizardry

Anyone else absolutely HATE toddlers and children? My parents decided after 16 years of me being an only child (4 years ago) to have another one, and I genuinely think this ruined my life. We lived in a tiny apartment, so no sleep, no time to relax, not being able to study in peace, never enjoying myself. I was a bit messed up before but now I had no comfort zone whatsoever. Usually it was school which sucked and then home where I could sit in my room and listen to music, read, play vidya in peace. Now that was taken from me and I didn’t enjoy my life. All my energy was depleted because of sleeplessness.

And it’s not just me, my parents also have clearly been negatively affected. They used to never fight but after the kid it was constant arguing between them and me as well. Never saw them smile which they used to do, same with me. They are struggling financially despite them having decent jobs (dad is an engineer). We all got fat, I don’t know how but I theorize it’s that we just ate to feel good and make time pass faster, eating at this point was the only thing we could still somewhat enjoy.

And the icing on the cake is that the kid is even more retarded than me. He’s 4 years old now but can’t speak a single word of his mother tongue, and he’s totally addicted to YouTube, if you take away the phone he starts this unbelievably loud shrieking.

Anyways, I finally moved out and I’m kinda happy again despite no friends and still being a kissless virgin. I can enjoy my life again. But it kinda sucks having 4 important years of your life stolen from you (16-20) because of someone else’s decision. And it had caused some long term problems, like when I hear a toddler/child crying in public I want to beat the ever living shit out of it. And I gotta lose weight, although I have already managed to lose 10kg. The worst long term effect it has had is that I have this permanent fog in my brain. I genuinely think I have become a lot dumber, I know I have.

Hope someone here can relate. Why would anyone bring a child into this hellhole of a world anyway?

What was your school life like? Was it hell? I came close to dropping out like four times.

I'm a senior in high school down in New Zealand. For those who are unfamiliar, the high school system there is 6 years of primary school, followed by another 6 years of high school (4 of which are compulsory.)

I made the stupid decision to continue on to Year 12 with the impression that everything will go on smoothly. How fucking wrong I was.

I can't do it, wizards. I'm not suicidal, never have been. But I feel an overwhelming stress flow over me with the workload and the never ending threat of 'final exams'.

Alas, I have to continue. I'm over 85% done with school and there's no point in dropping out now, and being a failure (even though I already feel like one.) The best options is to tank my exams (not intentionally, but the work is very confusing) and get the handshake and piece of crummy paper telling me that I suffered through a year of exams, 'study, study, study', and other crap like that.

Sorry for the rant, wizards. Had to let it out somewhere.

It's raining. I can vividly remember that day. I was sitting alone on a bench, in the middle of the city. Coffee can in hand, I swallowed the bitter reality. Tears formed in my eyes as i contemplated leaving my job, leaving everything. I did, and I have been out of the matrix all this time. These are the memories of 2 or so years ago.

It feels good to be home on wizchan. Been a while wizards but I came back to share the things I have seen. I chose the path to wizardry. I am once a mage but I am now a sage. I came here to show the light.

The words rose from the Dead Sea. The secret words written thousands of years ago. I have seen the visions, I talked with them. I talked with Him. I studied the words. They form a string, the string of truth that plays the harmony of dissonance. The light that pierced reality showed itself to me. The shapes are in flames, written on the heavens. They glimmer, illuminating Leviathans remains. The wind blew. I thought this was my end but the voice told me that it was just beginning.

Deception, ruin, doom, destruction, restoration. The darkness will sweep them, us but we must look for the light. We shall free ourselves from te illusion of life, the transitoriness of human existence and ascend. The fate of the universe is the fate of grass but the light shines forever.

The esoteric things are revealed one by one. Careful now, my fellow mage, lest you go mad. Sanctify yourself and find the key so the silver cord may not snap. Wrap your mind's message, let it flow, to the Highest. String the words together, be good so the messengers may talk to you.

Can we alter reality? Yes. Albeit, it translates accordingly. You cannot break the number but from above, it will flow below and time will watch until the mission of the light is done.

A solitude, you showed me indeed. The path to the heavens, to the heavens of heavens. I saw the kingdoms, the empires, the king, the future. They are crying, those who are good cried for wickedness ended and are finally consoled.

Though I wallowed in existential distress, I saw it pure and true. Beyond the heavens and earth, the Abode, in all its tranquility, shown itself to me.

The rich text box cannot contain the mystyfying experience of the revelations. In another point of time, I shall again string together the words of the fragmented truths, as a sage does to influence reality.
Blessed be you my fellow sages, mages and wizPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Until very recently, I never realized you were supposed to sit with your legs touching other males'; I always thought there should be a small gap between people sitting on the same bench, even if they're close friends. Apparently not? This really hit me hard when I started paying attention, people touch complete randoms with their legs as if it's nothing and don't seem at all bothered by it.

Newfag here and only a 21 yr old apprentice wizard. Sorry if this is blogposty.

By typical normalfag measures I could be considered successful, I have a decent remote job, am fairly smart, have solid cryptocurrency holdings and will inherit my father's home soon.

Yet something is different about me, something deeply wrong. My parents would just assume I'm some shy shut in who will grow up eventually, my two close and only friends likely imagine I'm just some late bloomer or secretive about my relationship hunting.

I don't care. At all. I easily mask during required social interactions but at the same time I do all I can to avoid or minimize them. I cannot shake the feeling that everything I do is fake. I spend ludicrous amounts of time engrossed in detailed fantasy worlds of my own creation, blasting music with overpriced audiophile gear (a cope I'm sure) and reading. I basically spend my life at this PC reading, listening to music and occasionally engaging in parasocial activites. I regularly entertain semi-serious thoughts of suicide and have somewhat of an obssession with shifting to other worlds. I'm generally nihilistic but I maintain an open mind about metaphysics because materialism is boring and depressing. When I'm not masking one can easily tell I have flat affect, weak empathy and extreme secretiveness. I score pretty high on some of those dark triad tests which threw me at first until I realized that I'm probably a schizoid.

So here comes my main problem: relatability. I'd like to think that most wizards, crabs and autist types find themselves an "in-group" to relate to. I've encountered countless of them online and my friends are probably borderline on these categories too. But I just don't fit in at all. I don't relate to the problems of autists, crabs, robots, normies etc. Hell I usually find myself disliking them after prolonged interaction. Most of my online interactions consist of probing for information, casual and short conversation and trolling (which I do in excess and to great effect as some sort of defense mechanism for not fitting in, but I don't bully like a sociopath). I'm actually in a ton of groups with what for all intents and purposes should be likeminded individuals (failed normies, crabs, mild spergs, etc). But the very driving force behind their existence seems to be the hunt for companionship or just lust. I don't just not feel these things, I actually started to fucking hate them. I'vePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Have you embraced solitude and how did you come about this choice if it was one and what is your story do you think your childhood lead to you being ok with being alone?

As a child my parents were split up a common theme for wizards but I consider some aspects of my childhood to be influential to my preference for isolation as an adult.
I lived with my mother full time as a child until the age of 7 and for various reasons my mother was never home so I was by myself and forbidden to leave the room I lived in.
When I started to live with my father nothing much changed except as he was sick he never got out of bed and was mostly sleeping and we lived in relative isolation away from others so I had the outdoors to explore as a child.
During schooling I was bullied a lot and was always acting up so was in detention every single day for lunch in my elementary school and this meant no other children were allowed to come near me or they would be in trouble I spent my time thinking alone.
I was also not allowed to have any friends as a child if a playmate took a liking to me when I was older my mother would tell me that not to trust the other child or make fun of them and say "wizzie you do not want to be around this child he is a loser" despite me being the biggest outcast. Of note is abuse by my parents in addition to my peers I think that played a part as well.

It is no surprise to myself that when I left schooling I withdrew from all social contact and shut myself away for numerous years and counting but I cannot help but feel that my entire younger days were preparing me to be alone because I do not feel lonely at all.
I used to enjoy talking online to some people from image boards on skype etc but I have now fully realized that there is no point in me trying to make friends with others online because it wont happen even if I wish I could I simply cannot make a friendship as if I never learnt to.
I feel more content now that I do not even bother trying to talk to others even when bored of my hobbies.

What about you wizards also sorry for the blog posting but I want to know if anyone else is similar to me. If psycho babble means anything one of my "mental disorders" is supposedly schizoid.

My wizard brothers, this is just a reminder that throughout life the only person who can truly love you and take care of you is yourself. Maybe this is not true for some but it is for most of us wizards. I don't mean this in a normie kind of way. Throughout life I have not only been outcast by society but also treated as if I was a rat. Most people would genuinely be happy I died but here I am proving to them their efforts are futile. Maybe we will never find company but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. They want us to feel ashamed of being people with their own paths because normies are sheep at the end of the day and follow the herd without ever questioning it. Do not end your precious lives over this pathetic aspect of life. If you happen to find truly good company along the way then that's fine. But stay true to yourself and make the best of your life on your own. Make art, take care of you, watch some tv series and treat yourself like a king because it's likely that no one will do the same. Ps: I'm sorry for my english not my native language

I'm 22. My dad is 75 and my mom is 68.
My parents had me at old age cus muh condom failed

When I realized in primary school that all of my friends' parents were much younger than mine, I developed this nagging awareness of their mortality and it terrified me.

Pic unrelated.

Have you felt superior to normalfags cause of your interests? I always thought of myself as an intellectual better than everyone else cause of my interests, my tastes, and my ideas. For example, the fact that I listen to somewhat obscure music artists like David Thomas Broughton, The Midnight, and Sweet Trip made my value as an intelligence greater than anyone who just listens to top 40 radio stations. The same things applies with other examples of media consumption like vidya. Hell, the fact that I go on 4chan, 8ch, wizchan, made me feel like as though my wisdom of the world far exceeded those normies using shit like Snapchat and Instagram. I always thought that maintaining my identity was better than being some normalfag who go out with their friends regularly and have romantic relationships.for such a long time.I've laughed at Redditors or Facebook users for the way they act.