I would very much like to do it and I will probably try it wiz. I think that my worst problems are my wageslaving which kills my creativity on most days and my fear of failure. I will follow your advice though and try to make it automatic.
>>171251> You should totally write it.
I did. wrote over 600k words of it but it's all autistic and unpublishable.
Holy shit Who Guy is that really you? Dude I loved watching your videos, art, and stories. They were great. Your stuff was so comfy.
Thanks anon. Makes me sad I ruined it. But I guess all good things come to an end. "Maturity" and "wagecucking" ruin everything.
Isn't that whats always happening though? You imagine a world and you get what you see, but if you're not pleased with it you try for something more. For me, reality looks like shit, I suffer from really bad derealization as a result of stress so everything looks flat and dulled. It all just looks fake to me, and nothing is convincing unless proven otherwise by feeling.
Is reality shit? Yes it is, I know that if I could get proper sleep, expand my mind, then things would look cleaner. But thats not easy to do when you forget how. It can be a very agonizing process. Ive found that the best world is a state of hyper-reality which is like the opposite of depersonalization, its a stage in it where you are able to cope with your environment but extremely sensitive to its stimuli. Eventually it progresses to a numbness where you can no longer deal with reality. You are robbed of its pleasures, and begin to lose yourself within your mind. It becomes a cycle of coping with your inner world to deal with life but just results in a netloss of pleasure.
Video games for instance, I can no longer enjoy them and completely unable to immerse myself in their worlds. Its not because I dont want to, its just I cant take my mind off external stresses that im safe enough to absorb myself into this new world. No matter how hard I try, whatever game, song, film; it never works. You just end up trapped in your shitty reality because your brain is screaming "solve these problems!" But youre too afraid and muddled by that anxiety to face your feelings and whatever might be bothering you. In a way, life can be really awesome, but its only under the condition that you handle it. Else you numb out and have to endure the barrage of shit that comes your way.
Believe me your brain can concoct the most unbelievable shit when pressured to. You just need the right motivation, once you find it, thats the end, and you do the rest.