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/dep/

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 No.306157[Reply]

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.
ice cold edition
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306160

They always talk about how important body language is. I'm 33. The last two days were the first days in my life where I actually tried to pay attention to this. And it's fucking scary. I feel as if I have found a new dimension of communication and I can't control it at all. It's funny how I get like 2 seconds of relaxation with the other person and then their face immediately goes to disgust or 'something is wrong with this man, better be careful, he's probably a dangerous person, I don't like him'. I never noticed that because I never dared to look because what I now found was what I expected and now I have evidence for my expectations. Time to back to ignoring again, this is way too stressful.

 No.306162

>>306160
It's too tiring for me to care about social masking too. I tried the just put yourself out there meme in college and got nothing out of it besides new cringe memories. I have decided that my approach to socialization is going to be numbing myself and accepting what happens next.

 No.306165

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Neighbor from the below died. No more crepes and pierogi from here anymore. The former had better dough than my mother's dough. Female cat who relocated to my apartment was buried at her land, she used to visit her too as the doors were often open.

She died on the same spot where I had immense pain in my balls twice in different years due to blood pressure and something like fibromyalgia when I'd been walking for a short time for health reasons. It was near a bank. She didn't get her pension, was on her way.

The neighbor from above has nerve condition and chronic pain so the TV is on loud sometimes. This dead neighbor from the lower floor had TV loud due to age. Wonder who had it these past years on now that she died. After all it's unlikely that she would do that in the night while the female neighbor from above did that when she couldn't sleep due to pain in the night according to her words to her neighbor above who figured she had audio hallucinations.

Late nephew of my father died. His cat Martyn freezed to death when nephew's mother had thrown him away for pissing on the floor. There's stray animals here outside who don't freeze to death so maybe he had some health conditions additionally or was wet. Gruesome death.

 No.306166

I want to kill myself. I dont know how to deal anymore with my life. I managed to get better for a little bit, but everything is back to the same shit it is always being. I cant anymore. I dont know what I get from this place. I am dying. Sorry for posting but I honestly cant anymore. I need to die

 No.306167

>>306166
I'm in constant suffering too, I hope you feel better knowing you're not alone in the torment



/wiz/

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 No.227680[Reply]

you know what would be nice? a way to further leave our humanity behind. free from the urges of the flesh, keeping only the love for anime, vidya, music, movies, perhaps food (though i would dispense that one personally). only the basic joys that life offers, the kind that allows me to have them independent of companionship.

in essence, a mecha, a robot, a machine that doesn't seek to harm but it is able to defend itself, enabling a life free from society, free from others, making them completely optional. i know that this is partly possible in human form, as my desire for the opposite sex begins to die down at the level 34.

but as this desire dies, leaving no trace of want or disdain, only cold indifference as the age progresses, a disconcerting peace takes place, along with the existential questions.

where to go from here? driving a car with no destiny, maybe that gives a high. once that is done, now what? maybe watching evangelion for the gorillionth time. making a new food or kicking the ball randomly. i don't know, i guess i am not used to this much freedom.

winning the struggle of the flesh comes with a price after all. "where to go from here?", the question comes up again, along with the image of a child looking up to you, holding your hand.

and that child is you.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227693

>>227692
Stop getting dopamine too fast then. Go do a challenging hobby or something.

 No.227695

>>227690
how can you tell?

 No.227696

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>>227680
>where to go from here?
there is nowhere to go and nothing to do.
and if you look at humans from an outside perspective you can see that it doesnt really matter anyway.
a human gets born, consumes resources and then eventually dies and thats it.
what he does between birth and death is pretty much meaningless be it rotting in a room watching youtube until he expires or being a normalfag wagie with a wife and kids and then croaking in some nursing home later.
its completely irrelevant what you do or dont do. its all meaningless and you can fill this time with whatever you want and I know this is easier said than done as someone who doesnt give a shit about anything and doesnt want anything. its difficult to find ways to burn some more lifetime.

logically speaking it makes sense to minimize suffering and try to enjoy the few good moments like a good meal or a shower or shit like that.
if you at some point run out of things to do thats basically it, you saw everything you wanted to see and now you just wait for that last part of death to finish your life's story.

 No.227858

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Yes, OP.
THAT hopefully would be nice. I experienced a nice beautiful feeling of almost not wishing for anything lately and that perfect. Perfect. Every single minute detail.

 No.227867




/lounge/

 No.323017[Reply]

Recently I feel like the large corporations that run everything have really been dropping the ball. The end user experience for shopping at walmart of Amazon or wherever used to be almost flawless and you could understand how they got to be practical oligopolies. Today though? The experience is so amazingly shit. You can tell none of these corporations gives a shit about the day to day. They have some apps managing everything and they just punish the slaves when some app tells them to. It is such a lazy form of decay.


Anyone else noticing this? Almost across the board in every realm of life it seems like the system is more full of bugs and random failures. Everything works just barely well enough to still keep functioning but at the same time it's decaying and degrading. I think there's not enough actual competition anymore in society. All the power structures are set and all the lowest worms in society have wriggled their way to the top of them.
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.323075

>>323068
I don't know why I even try to reason with stupid people

 No.323077

>>323075
>Talking past each other haha
Why don't you just use the damn lake to explain it to him?

>>323065
Do you watch dystopian fiction?

 No.323080

>>323075
Woah brother I did not insult you. I only made an example to explain my concept. I will give you a more detailed response.

>There can be only 1000 people in society but if there is only one store then will it have just barely enough customers to sustain itself and try hard? No obviously not. It will only try hard if there is another store it has to compete with for customers.

My point is that there aren't only 1000 people in society but a growing unhealthy amount, the planet is a fixed environment and can only host a limited number of stores so the equation more people = more competition is false. Instead there is no limit to the quantity of people that can exist.

I will make another example:
Can everyone become a doctor? No, so there is a limited number of doctors based on performance and results.
Do you think a doctor will give you more attention if he has to handle 100 patients or 1000 patients? I will let you answer my question.

Since OP was talking about the enshittification of everything I pointed out the real problem: the mass consumption societies of globohomo.

 No.323082

>>323080
I'm not the anon but I'll explain >>323065 and >>323066 to you.

If you have more people you have more professionals and more demand for consumer goods and the factories and farms will increase the production to keep up. We're nowhere near the planets limit yet.

If you have only one shop or service everyone goes to, the shop will try to get away with cheap quality and high prices because the customers can't go anywhere else. The ceo will increase the profits and enshittify the existing products because there is no competition. The shop does not fear other shops taking it's customers.

Companies are buying up all the shops and services so they are owned by the same company so they don't have to fear competition anymore and then they enshittify their products to make the customers pay more for the same quality, globohomo is just a symptom of all this.

>>323071
I saw the westphalen thread lol wtf

Do you know any better chans or places that don't have the creeps?

 No.323084

When I think back to 2006 I never imagined how much worse things would be 20 years later, it's shocking how much things have declined in a relatively short time



/wiz/

File: 1754305585267.pdf (3.06 MB, Thank You for Smoking PDF.pdf)

 No.225720[Reply]

Hey, wizards. Why not some fun? In this thread, post every kind of humor. We need happy times.

 No.227031

>>225720
Bastard Operator From Hell



bash.org


not sure if you need my personal cringe from 2020

 No.227559

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 No.227560

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 No.227862

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 No.227866

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/wiz/

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 No.226854[Reply]

How's aging going on for fellow wizards?
Do you feel more tired, slow, fatigued, depressed?
What are some changes you've noticed besides the physical, changes in your lifestyle or way of thinking?

Pic related, the AVGN
40 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227337

>>227336
Easier said than done when your life has very few to zero dopamine sources besides food.

But I agree, low body fat is the key. The fatter you get after your 40s the more disgusting the mirror gets to look at.

 No.227404

>>227085
>I'm feeling very fatigued these days. It's been a downward spiral since I injured my knee a few years back. That knee injury alone felt like it instantly aged me about 20 years in terms of how much it has impacted my ability to lift and move. It's a constant weight on my mind. Overall, I have experienced accelerated aging due to the use of psych meds which I have no choice but to take.


I think I need some knee protectors then as I work labour stuff…

 No.227847

still got my hair

 No.227848

>Balding, my shaved head looks like a shitty ps2 era model
>teeth are getting more yellow, plaque. Will get that fixed
>fatter
>slower
>saggy skin

 No.227865

Everyone is posting horribly depressing stuff so I'm post some positive stuff: as I'm older I'm able to do things now that were never options when I was younger. One of those things is fully controlling my diet. I was always a "skinny" kid that could never build muscle. But now that I'm in my 30s I've been able to control my nutrition and try different diets. I've put on weight and muscle.

When you're older you start to lose muscle mass and bone density. But since I never had any muscle when I was younger I'm actually much stronger than I ever was in my youth. There are other benefits of being older, too, though IDK how much they apply to wizards. Generally, you will gain more wealth as the years go on which brings independence. In my youth I ran myself into the ground repeatedly wage slaving. It was so much stress. I literally developed stress-related health problems that effected my digestive system, urinary tract, insomnia, and panic attacks. It was that hard. But it all snow balls into having less stress later on.

There's many wizards here that feel suicidal just because they have to live with their parents. If they had a place of their own and they could NEET most of them would be fine. I was in that boat when I was younger. I made it to about 25 without a stable alternative to parents. Eventually I did move, despite parents trying to sabotage and control me up until the very end. That is a huge benefit of being older. Freedom and independence are priceless.



/wiz/

 No.227799[Reply]

Do you want to change your life?
Do you really want to change your life?
MEDITATE
Wizzies, meditation is highly famous but seldom practiced seriously. The results from meditation takes time. It's like exercise. During the first day it will be hard to stay still and concentrate, but as you practice it, your body and mind start getting used to it. The benefits are immense. To mention a few:
>it improves concentration a lot
>it quiet your inner monologue, reducing it to 96% or even 100% depending on how well you are praticing it
>it increases the size of your pre-frontal-cortex which is responsible for making decisions
>increases gaba, which is the chemical that makes you calm
>it sharpens your sense making colors look brighter and sounds sound more vivid
>it gives you insights
>it makes you live in the present moment, since you are not ruminating the past or thinking about the future
>it reduces anxiety

And if you want to make it more meaningful, I advise practicing Buddhist teachings, even if you don't indetify as a Buddhist (that's irrelevant). You can still continue being a Christian and still follow Buddha's teachings for a happier and sober life.

I speak from experience. I've been meditating for 5 months almost everyday and now I'm starting to reap the fruits of my efforts. If I could dedicate my life 100% to spirituality and become a monk, I would, but where I live there's barely any monasteries. I don't mind though. I'm happy. I could be happy anywhere as long as I could practice meditation and the teachings of the great Buddha.

Just do it. Do it today or tonight. If silence is a problem, put on a whine noise sound on your headphones (I do that). Do it for 20 minutes. If it's too hard for you, reduce it to 10, but no less. You first session is always special. You will get out of there thinking: "what the hell, this shit really works".

Good luck, guys!
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227850

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>>227799
OP I did a thread about this long time ago but maybe more magic focused, check this out for more techniques, books and etc.
https://wizchan.org/dep/res/303398.html

 No.227853

Don’t get sucked into this crap, I tried meditating myself for awhile and felt no different other than the feeling that I’d wasted my time.

 No.227859

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>>227853
>Don’t get sucked into this crap, I tried meditating myself for awhile and felt no different other than the feeling that I’d wasted my time.
When you meditate you literally do nothing, its the Tao literal. but tao have no meaning.
>I tried meditating myself for awhile and felt no different other than the feeling that I’d wasted my time.
maybe you lost your time bacause you're supposed to do other more useful thing for you.
but when you sit and breath and become chill of wathever shit is happening you chill out for sometime.
your brain have some real-time change activity doing this time to time.
But if you dont want to meditate just do some sport or hig-focus relaxation activity like art or something you enjoy and chill you.
Its better than doing nothing or use drugs or wathever fucked up thing to get high when you can just get
>Grounded
and yes its healthy, maybe.

 No.227860

>>227859
>its the Tao literal. but tao have no meaning.
That's the "slip and fall" interpretation of Tao. Remember, Tao that is called Tao is not Tao. As in, a way set by someone else is not your way. To travel your own path, to make your own way, is to find your own Tao, which is the only Tao.

 No.227864

meditation is legit. but you really need to be in the right place to do it though. like being addicted to drugs (even just caffeine) makes it hard to focus and be at peace. imo, that is a good reflection on peace in itself.

the chronic dopamine hole everyone is in from never wanting to be bored, tired, or down, ends up making you a chemical slave. you can't have peace when you're drowning in various addictions.



/wiz/

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 No.227827[Reply]

This is a thread to discuss God and religion. One I didn't see created.

What are your thoughts and views on God, if any?

My relationship with Him is complicated, as I used to be Christian but have far strayed and no longer worship Him to a certain extent.
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227841

If God exists, he's not changing stuff based on what you say to him and anyone who thinks he is is fucking insane.

 No.227849

>>227828
Wonder if there's a large number of Angels nevertheless, even if our planet is one of the many.

 No.227852

A vast majority of religious people are LARPing. If they truly believed they were going to heaven when they died they wouldn’t give two shits about money or their health or most things in life. I’d take up free solo rock climbing to get around the no suicide rule.

 No.227861

I pray only to Celestia (and her sister)

 No.227863

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>>227827
I don't really believe in God as in some being that consciously does things, much less something human-like. Seems to me that it's sort of arrogant to assume that the thing that made everything else is anything like us. Or perhaps just a result of humans general tendency to anthropomorphize. So for me God is something that exists but we can never grasp. It's more similar to the Dao for me. Like some kind of universal order or way in which all can be in perfect harmony fitting together like gears in some incomprehensible clockwork. This applies to matter as well as living things, I think. Every thing and being has a way of existing that is optimal for the greater whole. Religions to me are just the human attempts at setting up rules in an attempt to get closer to that state of harmony and balance, aka getting closer to God.
That way of thinking about it seems more reasonable to me.



/dep/

 No.305879[Reply]

I wake up every day in disgust, fear and anguish of my existence. I have left no pride nor confidence in my confused brain. Every day I wake up and I loathe the person that I am and my world instantly.
I wish to go back to sleep. Sleep. I just wanna sleep and not take place.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305896

>>305891
idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

 No.305900

I disagree only if dreamless sleep dreams are another form of torture designed by the filthy creator

 No.305909

>>305896
>idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I knew it.

>you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it

It's not an option here because it's "untraditional".

 No.306154

i feel the same way. i hate who i have become. i am truly disgusting

 No.306161

>>306154
I think society is way more disgusting than any of us.

We owe nothing to the world.



/lounge/

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 No.323014[Reply]

>I hope to keep the site operating long enough for people to backup what they deem valuable and migrate elsewhere. I cannot give any specific date yet. Hopefully people can do organized effort on this, like a specific sub-section. There are other communities like this that can welcome you as long as you respect them in kind.

https://allthefallen.moe/forum/index.php?threads/about-closing-down-the-site.125821/=

The situation in the booru "seems" to have stabilized and they are allegedly getting taken under Catbox, whereas the forum is 100% gonna get nuked. If you guys have content you like posted there SAVE IT, this is your last chance.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.323054

>>323050
You will never be as desirable as a loli. Cope and seethe. Go back to crystal cafe and hate on how much men dont want a fat ugly troglodyte like you.

 No.323061

Damn just as I got the urge for a skyrim oneeshota mod too

 No.323063

Why should I care if some loli shota porn site and its forum gets shut down. Nigger, get a fucking life and do something good for yourself instead of masturbating all day to cartoons.

 No.323067

>>323063
it’s a direct attack on free speech by normal groids, if you don’t care about this you gay porn forums may be next, that’s how genocides start

 No.323083

>>323014
Maybe it's just me, but at 30 I've started to lose interest in jerking off as much.
Kinda no longer see the point of hoarding stuff like that since I just can't see myself looking back at my stash in my late 30s or 40s.
Feels like I was hoarding and safekeeping this stuff like pictures of my non-existent family memories or something.
Not sure if anyone else relates to this conclusion.



/dep/

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 No.302164[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
43 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306034

For everyone asking "why drink bro? lol" you sound like normies anyway here's a simple answer:

It stops the self hate and voices in my head, it puts me in a state of relaxation

 No.306045

>>306034
actually if you didn't drink you'd simply die inside and not need substance to cope.

 No.306056

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>>306034
>and voices in my head, it puts me in a state of relaxation

Auditory hallucinations kind of voices or endless inner monologues kind of voices? It's not my field, just kinda learned a factoid recently: "auditory hallucinations happen in 4 out of 5 SCH havers".

As for shy people, welp, I remeber reading in some book how some shy people tend to drink "because it helps to be less shy" and BAM! Alcoholism due to tolerance (that's why resolving life issues makes a person a less of shut-in)

 No.306135

I'm pretty lucky I'm such a total lightweight. Liqour is prohibitly expensive due to taxes but I'm able to get properly drunk on beer, doesn't even take a lot. It's probably in large part due to weighing only 57KG (180 cm tall). I just skip meals by sleeping 14 hours a day.
Anyways, I strongly recommend homebrewing. Super cheap to get into and you're able to get ~15% abv drink and get wasted for a dollar or two (less than a dollar for me).

 No.306155

I like drinking but only when I know I'm not going to interact with other people. Sober me knows to be quiet and not say stupid shit I'll regret later. Drunk me does not. Sure feels good though.



/dep/

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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
125 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306066

>>306004
That picture of the little succubus praying to an arranged set of crosses made of soda boxes always gets me thinking. It's such an uncanny combination of cultural artifacts, having this child mentally calling for the image of a dead Iron Age religious leader while kneeling in front of canned high fructose corn syrup. The soul-sucking fluorescent lights in the background and the commentary of the mother, who no doubt brainwashed the child to this behavior, talking as if somehow praying to Jesus was the succubus's own idea, create a jarring image that makes my head spin. And of course, every single vertical surface is covered in ads.

Then I start thinking this is all happening due to the gravitational collapse of enormous clouds of dust, molecular hydrogen, and helium into stars. Balls of ionized gas ongoing nuclear fusion, burning light elements into heavier ones. And here we have a small terrestrial pile of galactic debri orbiting around a big pile of burning hydrogen, with this child calling for a man long dead. Not the greatest minds in the world could invent a tragicomedy of such monumental, bizarre proportions. What is all this fucking stuff? It doesn't matter how much you study chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology. It doesn't matter how much you think you know. When you look at the world seriously and completely focused, everything is so fucking strange.

 No.306105

>>305596
Self employment would be ideal but it's harder to effectuate in practice than it sounds in theory. You need to do quarterly taxes, submit a business plan, register trademarks (if applicable), figure out how to sell your stuff and how to do stuff like withold sales tax for people. Most of that stuff can be handled by paying people for a service but then you need to have income. Depending on what you do you may also have other regulatory requirements like insurance/bonds that also cost money and therefore require you to be making money effectively. The last and most unfortunate part is that no matter what you do, you cannot get money from people without interacting with those people somehow. Even if you just do an email customer service with internet shop you will still have to answer their questions and deal with all the bullshit that the broken people will try to pull on you.

 No.306106

>>305982
You probably can say no though unless the labor market in your country is really fucked up. Just make up some excuse that you already have plans.

 No.306107

>>305835
In most places, dust is all that's left in the rivers, but you can still harvest the dust. You spend all day panning stuff until you get black sand mixed with gold dust then you spend another day picking the tiny bits of gold out of the black sand manually. It's shit work but I think I have figured out how to get my living expenses to practically zero by living in my car on public land. I bought an EV with this in mind so that I can charge at free chargers and spend zero dollars on fuel. My only expenses will be phone/internet and food. I calculate I should need to find approximately three quarters of a gram of gold per week (3g a month) to sustain this lifestyle. Also, despite being shit work, it sounds to me to be infinitely preferable to slaving for normalfags.

 No.306153

Seeing inbred witness fucking normies thrive and be promoted to managerial positions at my age (or roughly) makes my skin crawl, and this is not mere plain butthurt. You read and listen to them everyday - they won't shut the fuck up nor stop bragging about it. I don't see how I'm not fit considering the fucking retards they are, but then again, without normalfaggot networking and ass licking in this world for one is hard to come up.


[Last 50 Posts]

/games/

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 No.63453[Reply]

Shmups are the quintessential wizzy game, what are you guys playing?

GOAT genre for social recluse.

There's nothing like the feeling of turning into an attack helicopter in Ketsui, shredding through bullets, and feeling like you're in total control of your destiny.

https://youtu.be/wT8bzE940F4?si=r3R_Gyk1fKHH_h3t

And the soundtracks are ALWAYS bangers.
https://youtu.be/8ndRNfWYfDw?si=wx9-RqnlcvzHU_sV
https://youtu.be/0Lqj427yef4?si=g5r8L38sgIpwL2hh
https://youtu.be/MCkUSJFmKsQ?si=gNHcFxDlUAhihbFI
https://youtu.be/6A0oCtFGl80?si=8vBP3JCbYSLSYNKD

 No.63454

>>63453
Best shmups for new players:
>Crimzon Clover - Novice Difficulty
>Mushihimesama - Novice Difficulty
>DoDonPachi Resurrection (DaiFukkatsu) - Novice Difficulty

https://youtu.be/956XrCwP3RU?si=Q4ynI_NtlQ9Swl05

 No.63455

They are pretty wizfriendly, and there's the sense of growth too when you start getting better and your scores go up and up. Or you start 1ccing harder games.



/hob/

File: 1772637412563.jpg (106.1 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, ps2.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.70434[Reply]

Sorry bad English.
Hi wizards I have a new hobbie, the retro gaming you know crt tvs ps2 etc.
I fun learn to hack the ps2 and play games in this console, this hobbie have its problems but with patience and a bit of money you can beat it.
I strongly interested in the way to fix our dystopian world, i have never can try a dumbphone bocouse in my country people are obsesed with apps so the only dumb thing who I can have in my life is a crt tv with a PS2, I feel like I'm save of the spirit of this decade with this, my smartphone is boring when I have a PS2…

 No.70435

>>70434
smartphones have destroyed the brains for many people. Retro gaming is preferable.
>I feel like I'm save of the spirit of this decade with this
The modern gaming scene could use this. At least in the ps2 era most devs tried cared to make quality work. Now it's maximum monetization. Make a game with dozens of skin dlcs or loot boxes.



/dep/

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 No.296810[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
96 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305745

>>305744
I know exactly how you feel and I know what the cause is for me: inflammation. My whole body remained in an inflamed state from eating plant matter and carbs for years in the past, preventing me from growing, being healthy, being happy. I lost 7-8 years of my adolesence doing things I could've stopped. I could've eaten better. I could've said no. I was 166cm aswell for several years but I'm 169cm now after making some improvements, but I feel that it's all too late. I'm 23 years old.

The past was an act of robbery against me, I know everything that I lost, all my dreams, my time, the happiness, the opportunities, they are all gone permanently. There is nothing that can be done to compensate for them, nothing that can be done to replace them. I suffered emotional distress and pain from abusers, on top of poor habits built from the kind of environment I was forced to exist in, just to lose the most crucial opportunities forever. I'm angry, I'm angry at my family for giving me garbage to eat and abusing my metabolism, I'm angry at myself for being so weak, I'm angry for being poor. I'm angry.

 No.305746

chillax dudes yer never gonna compete with the 181cm chad no matter how hard you try if you're not 182cm which i for one sure as hell am not. it doesn't destroy your *whole* life, only a part of it. you still can earn money enough for spell ingredients

 No.306011

>>298779
Uh yes? Autism means you are pathologically socially retarded and that destines you to be a loser unless some insane level luck happens to you.

 No.306124

>>305744
I hated NEET life so much, to the point I somewhat prefer being a full time wagie. After 18 my parents would nag me nonstop, wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me to look for jobs in the morning. I was already going too. Then they'd walk away muttering how useless I am. I was ready to end it all. I've estranged myself from my entire family now aside from my parents as I live with them, and we've come to terms now. Hopefully there are no future hiccups, but I'm sure there will be.

 No.306151

>>306124
>Then they'd walk away muttering how useless I am
Was in a similar situation. The twist was that this made me snap at them. Tried to get a long-term job but was rejected. Only manage to get a few temp jobs. Parents got irritated by this and blame me for not trying hard enough.
Eventually had enough of this and screamed at them. told them if they wanted me to have a job so badly then they should do more to help get one! they got angry and responded that they didn't owe it to help me.
Told them they then can shut the fuck up, if they didn't want to help me, that I wasn't interested in hearing what they had to say then . Openly told them to shove it up their asses so I didn't need to hear their retarded nagging.
Their only comeback was that I wouldn't get very far with an attitude like this. that this would only ensure that in the future when people see me do bad, no one will bother to nag/lecture me to do better. If this is how I respond when people complained about me. Told them I could figure thing out for myself and didn't need their dumb nagging and lecture. My dad just said fine see what good that will do you.
While I'm still unemployed, my parents have stopped nagging all together, which did a ton of good for me mentally.


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
38 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306146

I gave up mirtazapine nearly two weeks ago and i’ve only been able to mastubate twice. Does this mean i have pssd now? I think i will start to get vitamins when i get paid

 No.306148

>>304430
>I was on prozac for a while and I'm pretty confident it made my memory worse but most of all it killed my dick. I almost want to kill the doctors that prescribed it to me before I die
Tsk-tsk-tsk. Sounds too crabby for wizardchan.

>>306146
Nah, I took a vacation this Christmas and had a similar very relaxed mood… naturally, not medically. I doubt you have it.

 No.306149

>>306146
once a week is pretty wizardly to be honest. you're fine

 No.306150

>>301262
>It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

If you won't, you can always pull of a following move:

1. Install Honkai Impact 3rd or Honkai Starrail
2. Install Arknights or its Endfield same-universe game or both
3. Ashphalt series mobile games
4. ??????
5. You now have several dopamine-releasing games to pass your time
6. Audiobooks to play in the background.

 No.306152

>>306148
>Tsk-tsk-tsk. Sounds too crabby for wizardchan.
Creep



/dep/

File: 1771377672261.jpg (2.11 MB, 2227x3467, 2227:3467, 1764026042121.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.305927[Reply]

>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.
27 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306028

>>305928
>not even worth thinking about
t. never been called names in his entire life

i can't believe some people have such low self awareness as you do. not bothering about shit is a decades long process of internalizing complex self knowledge and even then it's only a conscious construct that has to continuously keep the unconscious in check.

 No.306098

>>305927
yes bully memories still haunts me after more than a decade.

>Being me

>got a job
>everything is ok for the first time in my entire life
>speak to coworkers
>after some months coworkers begin to act WAY too familiar. like, a lot

>begin to throw shit at each other, me included


>one of them point out a delicate situation about me not going to work past week


it hurts
he laughs
everyone laughs
i fucking wish him to shut the fuck off
got so much shit inside me so I cant figure a way of resolving this withouth violence

my instincts are telling me to throw a punch as revange for all those years being bullied in highschool
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306126

>>306098
1. You probably should switch your current job to night shifts.
Your excuse: "traffic jams finally got me".

2. If fails, switch jobs, but only once your "night shifts" plan failed.

Your excuse: "past jobs was about night shifts. Unfortunately, the windows get too much sunlight in the morning and I just cannot sleep from all the light and heat."

 No.306141

>>305927
Not quite like this, but yeah, I get the general sentiment.
Abused kid, everyone knew about my situation, small village, was bullied as a result, like, major life changing stuff at multiple points in life.
Was a nervous wreck, never quite adapted. Never quite got a fresh start either.

I changed schools 3 times by the time I was 18 and always there was at least a few people who "followed me" as they also changed schools.
These people often weren't the bullies themselves, but soon enough they told my tale and presented me as a social offering to the new tribe if that makes any sense.
They used my past torment and my weakness as a gateway to fitting in themselves. So I never really had a chance on my own merit.

To this day I'm haunted, it happens at at work too if you are unlucky. Contrary to popular belief the "bad bully" wont be your subordinate and you the boss later like my mom used to say.
A loser stays a loser because of the learned behavior patterns and developed character. The bullies are socially apt, they usually rise up.
Ironically enough I had the misfortune of meeting some when I was forced out of neetdom. You can guess how that went.

>>305940
This here is probably the worst of it.
Life is just one eternal highschool. I'm glad to have read your post. Said well and concise.
My mother is the same as me and lived through much humiliation too.
When I was younger I didn't understand why she was so nervous about how we present ourselves, but yeah later on this happened to us too and now I get it.
In an apartment complex you can get screwed in so many ways if the others sense blood in the water, weakness or whatever.
If there is a pre-existing clique and you make one mistake at work as well, you'll suffer. Same everywhere.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306144

>>305927
God I fucking hate people from HS



/wiz/

File: 1726078694389.png (1.59 MB, 1448x808, 181:101, Screenshot 2024-09-11 1410….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.219200[Reply]

>"No one owes you their kindness"
>"No one has to have a reason not to like you"
>"You're not entitled to friends"
>"Thinking people have to like you is narcissistic"

All said by people who haven't experienced a lifetime of rejection, social ostracization and involuntary isolation. All said by people who haven't tried every way possible to be likable, but their autism still showed through.

I hate when normies say shit like this, and their stupid "boundaries" of not "owing people shit" which translated is usually; I'm going to act terrible to anyone I see as less than myself in a way that makes me look righteous.
79 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.226784

>>226497
How much RAM you got? Tried running a 8B parameter model with 16GB, it works okay but I think that's as far as I can go RAM wise.

 No.226786

>>226784


16 or 32gb RAM, I should check

it's definitely not 8 gb, though

 No.226800

>>219200
Here's thing

All the "just intelligence, no social adaptation" sperg-friendly jobs got outsourced to cheap countries

 No.227855

>>219200
>"No one owes you their kindness"

most people are way to high on the "enlightenment" than they would want to help. or more so just because they have a heart , they assume they aren't heartless.
they help people who they want to help just because it feels nice , but anything else beyond that is something that needs to be forced out of them.
they are fine with this , because they trust that whatever forces them to do stuff is a good person.

doesn't really help that people really have to hide thier intentions, you are still alowed to see people as degenerates that need to be perpetually opresed and purged. but you are forced to hide it.
at the end of it , is just them thinking your are entitled because they lack genuinenedless.

but like , I am not a wizard, I just saw this treath on my sea of tabs. don't even remeneber why its here , and was interested by this.

my apologies if this just seems to surface level.
or just too wrong in a offensive way.

but I think the core of a lot of this people , is more so a form of evil enlightenment and inner peace about thier situation.
they just see stuff like this is a necesary tax , I don't even think they necesarely don't see you as a person , in particular.
its more so that they see everything as not a person. and persohood is just something , things force into them.
like everything is about forcing for them.

 No.227856

Reminder "tech geeks" aren't talked about much anymore



/lounge/

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 No.322970[Reply]

How do you fellow thirdie NEET survive and cope? I am Neet in third world country, I really don't want to return to the call center I used to work from last year ;-; the town I live in went to hell too so virtually no local jobs either, I want to be a NEET all day every day but I am forced to work since I live in a third world country and NEETbucks don't exist here, I also can't afford nice things and hobbies so even NEETing is not really fun but a lesser evil compared to the cagie life to me, not to mention the wages are extremely bad, my former job paid less than 200 USDs a month and I had to work 6 days a week (most people in my country work 6 days a week).
15 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.323033

>>323030
Not a Thirdie but I am NEET who is preparing for the homeless life, currently I am almost 40 and I gave up on getting a job, I have almost no money the last amount I had was used for me to buy a pair of sports shoes and a tent, it's simply inevitable for me, I do exposure therapy where I sleep outside everyonce in a while in order to make my mind used to that lifestyle and not fear it too much, I also walk long distances every single day, hence why I bought a pair of sports shoes, homelesness implies the need to walk long distances daily to find food, so I am making my body used to such thing already while I can, I accept my fate and I am preparing for it.

 No.323038

>>322988
Cringe ive known plenty of lv 2/3's poc vs "aspergers" whites

 No.323051

How the hell do you survive as a NEET in that part of the globe? I am from the first world and without NEETbux it's very very difficult to make your family support you for longer than 1 years or 2, I have heard of some third world NEETs whom their families have been supporting them for long years, maybe they are really wealthy for their national standards.

 No.323074

I wageslaved for a year at a gas station for 280 U.S.D a month, it was a hell on earth.

 No.323079

>>323051
Some of us fucked up and are barely getting neetbux at 40, a neet had an SSI case going 8 years



/lounge/

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 No.314827[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Hitler's thread:
Paintings or things related to him or to national socialism.

- Painting of a castle.
134 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.322880

>>322763
"Covid" does not exist. It is strictly merely a psychological concept purposed by jewish pharma to get drugs into the arms of dumb goyim.

 No.323013

>>322571
exactly right. just imagine how different things could have been without jewish interference.

 No.323064

why did Netanhayu said Hitler did nothing wrong and that he was not planning to genocide jews?

>Benjamin Netanyahu claimed that Haj Amin Al-Husseini convinced Hitler to exterminate the Jews instead of deporting them.

 No.323073

>>323064
>why did Netanhayu said
This is an English website.

 No.323078

>>323064
I think this is a new jew tactic. They're lining themselves up with 'based' takes and with right-wing positions to co-opt it and control them. They're manipulating the jew argument, using the jewish question as bait, to influence people into doing certain things and keep them blind.


[Last 50 Posts]

/wiz/

File: 1750075238272.png (38.95 KB, 640x448, 10:7, figure1willoughby-1-w640.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.224780[Reply]

Should I take the Catholic pill?

They seem to genuinely respect Wizards and have a tradition of hermits. Their priests are a celibate ruling class.

I didn't grow up around Christians but it seems like the difference between them and other Christians is that they're the original church together with the lesser known Orthodox Church.

I don't get all the rules they have though. You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor. You shall confess your sins at least once a year. You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season. You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church. You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church, each according to his or her own ability.

I'm overwhelmed. I get why people just go with the DIY protestant approach but it seems like if the Catholics are one of the original churches Jesus said was legit then it's a safer bet.

Look I don't get how there can be a miracle like resurrection either and frankly all the Abrahamic religious miracles seem really underwhelming compared to the wild stories of Hindu gods. But so many people believe in Christianity from a Pascal's wager perspective it seems like I might as well consider it.

At least it'll make me feel like I'm less LARPing some fantasy wizard and instead I'll seem like a faithful religious hermit which gets more respect points
23 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227818

>>227817
>I am just saving myself for marriage.
Get. Out.

 No.227819

File: 1772152377945.jpg (279.14 KB, 1080x1755, 8:13, Screenshot_20260226_192748….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>224780
Mother Mary's apparition was spotted over Egypt in 1968. This is a rendition of her face taken from the photos.

 No.227820

>>227819
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Zeitoun

Note there were reports of blind people being able to see after witnessing the apparition. One persons finger was healed from gangrene.

 No.227845

File: 1772423990411.png (8.12 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

Nah, it's the same shit, I grew up catholic
Everyone hates going to church and everyone wants to have sex since a young age

 No.227854

wtf why has a thread leading with a post with a picture about "relationship stability" not been locked yet? This is clearly a crab thread.



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