/dep/ - Depression

>>303969
If you jump from a high enough height you don't even feel pain

looks like im going to order SN soon. I have benzos and antiemetics. I dont want to be on earth much longer

>>304203
I wish I could do it too. I had sn and antiemetic but couldnt get to actually drink them. my life is a complete disaster from beginning. there's nothing worth to save. it's arguably the most brutal circumstances one can ever live

>>304204
i wish you the best friend

>>304206
there's nothing to wish everything that can go wrong goes wrong I hate this world with a passion I wish everyone died in a brutal way that's the only thing that can make me truly happy to be honest

Get a job as a pan handler then use the money from it to buy crypto. You can then use the crypto to bet on sports games. It's prety much an infinite money glitch.

I sometimes wish I was born before all of this and barter economy was a go. If someone tried scamming my goats or turnips I could gove them a sound thrashing.

>>304210
I know a fella who could use a 100$ purchase of a proper matress atop of his old foldable sofa. And a big pillow.

His sleep is shit, his mood is shit; I remeber how my sllep and mood were also shit X years ago over ruined sleep.

Money cannot buy health sorry

>>304211
nice bux

Being a murder victim could cause that disorder. Thanks for the info! Had issues with that for all of my life.

Fucking hate people who think they have the right to murder.
Fucking hate absurdity, always.

>>303912
oh, soma killa tried to whack me over a 35$ celly.

Good thing I had a knoife m8, they woulnt rob a elementary school boy, they would do some psycho stuff, good thing I had a knoife m8

>>303906
Oh and the road is equipped with a traffic light so had he whacked me, he would be responsible for a murder and not a manslaughter becaue he was driving at the red light and not an unregulated crossing

>>303053
>never had an autist-tier hobby to treat as own safe haven
Why autist with hobbies can have a own safe haven? I ignorant about autism, sorry.
I dont have hobbies bacause I poor and dont have money to do things, I just read or pirate things or try to learn something thanks to internet if i can.
>Also
The truth is, I'm not very successful socially, so I don't think I can do much about that.
Only an idiot who doesn't know how to use money would say that money doesn't bring happiness. That excuse about simple things and living simply for happiness is true, but it's also partly a lie. Money makes absolutely everything easier.
>"Adaptation disorder"
Sound like a term when they cant alienate you to a shit society of abnormal people fucked by hyper-socialization and other problems.

>>304208
>I dont have hobbies bacause I poor and dont have money to do things, I just read or pirate things or try to learn something thanks to internet if i can.

Digital hobbies are hobbies too

>The truth is, I'm not very successful socially, so I don't think I can do much about that.
Only an idiot who doesn't know how to use money would say that money doesn't bring happiness.

Oh I used to be such a person… Now I am kinda wiser with modey.


>"Adaptation disorder"
Sound like a term when they cant alienate you to a shit society of abnormal people fucked by hyper-socialization and other problems.

Or when they need to mark down your "not like them" is cause by outside stress - OUTSIDE e.g. not some inner split-o-phrenia

>>304205
that sucks wizzie, but aren't you… a grown ass man? are you seriously not able to put your foot down and just tell your mom/dad you don't want to go to the stupid social event? you must be pretty young if you still care about what your extended family thinks (spoiler: they'll think you're a fucking loser no matter what). just stop showing up to the yearly humiliation ritual you'll be happier, trust me.

>>304209
>aren't you… a grown ass man?
Physically, yes. Mentally? I don't even qualify as human anymore.
>are you seriously not able to put your foot down and just tell your mom/dad you don't want to go to the stupid social event?
My parents are actually alright with it, given the way my sister has been acting the past month or so, but my siblings and nephews will give me shit about it. It's not really that awful I suppose, just annoying.
>you must be pretty young if you still care about what your extended family thinks
I'm not and I don't. Anything I do socially basically amounts to a bare-minimum effort to avoid unnecessary hassle or harassment.
>(spoiler: they'll think you're a fucking loser no matter what). just stop showing up to the yearly humiliation ritual you'll be happier, trust me.
Thankfully, I've reached the point where my family has given up hope on me becoming 'successful' and have accepted that I'm a disappointment. That's why Thanksgiving used to be nice, I would just show up, bullshit my way through a little small talk, eat a feast of specially prepared food, pretend to care about football for an hour or so, then go home. Simple and tidy, or at least it was until now. My previous post was, more than anything, a small lament about the only holiday I still liked becoming shit. Just another thing in this bleak life that I can no longer enjoy. All that said, if I'm still feeling sick tomorrow I wont be going anywhere. Not worth the hassle.

>>304209
You should know better than to ask a question like that. If you're still reliant on someone else for food and shelter, you're dependent on their whims.

It is too hard to be understood and connect with anyone and my vulnerabilities are too numerous and raw to avoid coming up too early and frequently and being struck in a way that isn't just unbearable painful but that destroys the process of trust building and ability to even continue any communication .

All the growth and progress I've made is offset by remaining problems that are still too big and some that got bigger in the mean time

Now I'm almost 40 and still have less than scraps of all the human necessities.

>>304205
Bring tupperware-like boxes

there's no magical solution. it really is just about sticking with something long enough to see results and let your brain automate some parts so it becomes effortless. i've surprised myself quite a few times by just sticking with something, enduring the initial suckage, ignoring the shitty results and at some point something *clicks* and it's a whole different experience.

just give yourself a goal of spending /at least/ a 100 hours in the activity before you give up. it gives you a simple metric to focus on i.e. time spent, and you only have to show up. if you fail to make progress (unlikely), you can say you gave it a serious shot and you can move on emotionally. if you succeed, then… yeah, congrats, you have a new source of enjoyment in your life.

>>304180
>2. Wear several

*edit - carry several [backup t-shirts] so your sweat could go into a haha funny laundry bag

I swear I serve some of the most retarded people this side of the Mississippi. For context: There was an outage in our area that affected our card processing server and as a result we couldn't take a single card payment and had to resort to cash only. We had signs all throughout the store like picrel, and throughout the day people just outright ignored it and tried to pay with card anyway, only to bitch about it when we told them TO THEIR FACE that we couldn't take card payments at that time. It didn't help matters that our ATM was also out of order so they were fucked in every which way.

There was even one customer that said "I was too tired to read"…LIKE YOU'RE NOT TOO TIRED TO DRIVE BUT YOU'RE TOO TIRED TO READ. FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT. /retail rage

>>304185
Normies love that "ah. It's broken, sorry m8 can't do a thingy"

Thoughts on the diogenes route?

>>304194
We have Britbongs on Wiz?

>>302793
>Not the anon youre replying to but how so? Also what form of Zinc? I take Glycinate and Gluconate, and I've previously taken Monomethionine (OptiZinc) and L-Carnosine.

It was gluconate. I think.

>>302793
So, I have both K2 vitamin pills and D3 vitamin pills. Then, I grab Zn also.
And then, I get some vitamin A also.


(also, B12 since my lent-oriented diet makes me, effectively, a half-vegan)


Hmmmm…
Thanks in advance. I'll try my best.

Tried to befriend a person. He would not listen to me at all. Friendship - screw him

Well, yeah, a lot of schoolboys used to bully me (of course they would bully a fatherless person who's too tall, they would call me "second yearer" and such.)

Good thing those bully twins aren't in my town anymore. I assume they had to move to Siberia to work some plant job…

>>304195
Basically, when Im bored and have to focus, I remeber those stinky working-class (cook's kids?) retarded kids who couldn't handle 4th grade curriculum yet had the brainz to leave a fuckton of emotional markings in my mind. I suppose they live the life I expected thm to live - gatherting scraps ant some kitchen job, "trying to survive", "it's not us being ass, it's life being ass" stuff…

>>303678
>Alcohol drink
This gonna ruin your life and body in in a passive way. Better get a more good cope mechanism.
>>304174
Lol
The chinese have some tai chi or qi gong techniques that stimulates the dam tian or something about the anus-prostate with move exercises, random but interesting lol.

What do fellow wizzies here think of the /fringe/ reading list? petsonally ive only read the kybalion so i can't really comment on it, not to mention that it's getting a lot of bad rep lately in hermetic circles for not relating to hermeticism, but otherwise there's the arcane formulas, and the science of breath, and bardon's exercises that i want you anons opinion on.

>>304190
Stick with the reading list. It’s really good. Also I would recommend the book hatha yoga by the same author of the Hindu yogi science of breath, kybalion, arcane formula, etc (the author in question is William Walker Atkinson). The book hatha yoga delves into obscure methods of staying healthy that the elites don’t want you to know about. Highly recommended.

>>304190
>What do fellow wizzies here think of the /fringe/ reading list? petsonally ive only read the kybalion
They Kybalion is a re-made up of another book of Atkinson (arcane formulas? Or some tittle with mansonry in it i dont remember) with more hermetic aesthetic, i dont like it. I enjoyed it at my first entrance in supposed western esoterism (its not western esoterism but its kinda into modern religious esoterism pre-new age like teosophy) but now I know its kinda lame, its like a new age book.
>not to mention that it's getting a lot of bad rep lately in hermetic circles for not relating to hermeticism
It have a lot or new thought ideas, its not truly hermetic philosophy with greek-egyptian lore rituals and etc.
New thought its more like a offshot of Mesmerism-Hypnosis with Christian Science with some light indian beliefs or aesthetics with some universal metaphysics. If you enjoy it as a chaoist or it make thing for you work for the paradigm its ok, In ME personal case, dont work for me.
>and bardon's exercises that i want you anons opinion on.
Suppusoedly Bardon stealed some secret book and paper of a magic lodge or something (sound like crowley) but i dont know.
Bardon intro to hermetics its like a Raja Yoga with a lot of techniques focuses on breath, visualization and correspondences and etc. Its very technical at first not to focused on ritualism (he have other books focused on that topic)
I enjoy bardon and some techniques are from Indian Yogas techniques and maybe chinese and others from western ideas, I see it more focused on itself esoteric system than a Hypnosis or belief like new thoughts guys.
This book its more internal (like a qi gong as example) than external focused on rituals or invocations evocations, etc.
>Its true hermetism?
In bardon sense, yeah, but in a hermetic philosophy and practices of western greek-egyptian-alchemy OG lore, nope. Go read hermetic philosophy and religious books of hermetism for that.

>Fringe reading list
If you want some books of magick of personal, post-modern, maybe lodge tradition or new age fluffbunny and wicca there're some books here Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>304192
>if you don't have a middle ground between absolute belief, dogma and agnosticism you can become a asshole.
always stay humble in your beliefs. i really enjoyed the kybalion for what it was the first time ive read but i obviously was a bunch of snake oil bullshit from the get-go, empty promises with no real hermetic background. Hells he even failed to describe hermetic philosophy properly. that leddit jew was right in regards to him, because when i read the arcane teachings he also somehow created a new occult order out of the blue from supposedly ancient chaldea called the arcane council, with the same recycle "hermetic laws" and manifestation/unmanifestation phaes of creation. im kinda pissed off i wasted my time for nothing. thank you /fringe/. Might have better luck with other books tho.

Yes, wiz. Can relate to this shit, I either mumble to the point when my speech becomes unintelligible and barely audible or speak loud as fuck. Also stuttering and poor wording that have actually become memes amongst my small circle of friends. Tfw.

>>301831
>Any other wizards here that have trouble with speaking "normally"
Very much so
School was the only thing keeping my speech coherent, half the things I say in my native language nowadays can be defined as "incoherent word vomit"

>>304139
Same. I have so many thoughts in my head, but when I’m supposed to join a conversation, my mind goes completely blank.

>>301831
>Talk problems
I dont know much about these talk things.
I read somewhere of selective mutism, social anxiety, avpd, avoidant behaviour and avoidant attachment can fuck you even at the most simple socialization things.
But accent problem sound strange to me.
>Also
Maybe you need some form of language and talking training or check your face-checkbones or so to know if there some problem.
I know a guy that after a face operation of the nose, some mouth muscles and teeth started to talk very well (as kid speaked very bad)
>Autistic trait
The Autistics guys I know doesn speak cringe, even one. They speak very well and fluid (and at times have more vocabulary than the common normie with pure 4chan-tik tok retardation meme language)
>Reclusive life style
>Anxiety in public
Check some help for social anxiety, selective mutism, etc. Maybe ask a IA sometimes they have good suggestion for these things.
Social exposure help sometimes but if you're too avoidant or have some social problems this not help much sometimes and induce more anxiety.
You can check this thread and link for some help tech for anxiety and social things >>303467
Sorry my shity engrish.

>>304175
You don't know any autistic guys then, you know people that call themselves autistic to gain some sort of social special scores.

To yourself? Not some other people around?

Utter cucked misery.

>>302705
You already know you are dressing like pretty fire. No need for anyone to remember you this.

>Shove this argument in her face

>>299706
honestly normies are so braindead at this point it wouldn't surprise me if even such an event as that were forgotten by them in a few weeks.

>>303766
thanks

>>299707
>Spend more time at the gym.
>Buy Bitcoin.

You do neither of those things.