/dep/ - Depression

I think I played that game, but for whatever reason, I never thought about how external circumstances could be different, it was always me that was different. My particular fantasy was, and perhaps still is, one where I was completely undisturbed by the things happening around me, endlessly competent, calm, at peace. Rather than imagining myself as being accepted by others, I always imagined a state where I could simply not care and never feel shame or envy. Rather than having endless amount of money, I always imagined living a frugal life where I can escape the rat race. Rather than a sexy gf, I wanted to be a voluntary celibate that has no such needs.

You can't visualize happiness because you aren't happy, just like a blind person can't visualize sight

I guess reaching some kind of state where you have real freedom. Health allows you to use your body without troubles. Money gives freedom from basic things like shelter, being able to neet, welfare dependency and so on. Deciding what you think is real after a lot of intellectual activities gives you a certain insight in how this world works which gives a certain freedom.
Basically a happy life for me would be where I could just do what I want. (within reasonable limits ofcourse)
Anything less and i'd rather hang myself (which I actually plan on doing).

>>307315
Would you consider this to be a good life?

>>307462
this wouldn't work. life of infinite pleasure isn't possible by design. no amount of technology will ever release you from this demiurge's torture cellar.

The only way to understand yourself is to to do a lot of self-reflection and mindfulness while keeping an open mind, along with collecting knowledge from studying, reading or life experiences.

>>307439
same but I'm already 36 and have done literally nothing since highschool but sit in my room in front of a computer and I still dont know how to do anything well. actually I havent been outside since around when covid started, kinda turned into a hermit neet and havent been outside once in the last 5 years or so maybe longer.
>I feel worried about my future
this only gets worse but I feel like I still got some time, maybe 5 to 10 years before I have to face the decision to become a hobo or find a rope.
I guess the only thing I can really tell you is that sometimes unexpected things happen, maybe you get lucky somehow and can extend the comfy neet time some more.

oh you really think waging counts for "doing something". uhhh wizbro

>>307450
making moneys for the bossman, landlord and taxman. shame there is no succubus and brats to spend the rest of it.

i’m on a similar situation, i feel i should be sedated all the time or drunk or something, but i don’t want to keep seeing reality, im burnt out from living in the real world, i want to ignore it

>>307419
You have no idea what consciousness is. Waking mind and it's buzz is not it.

>>307420
>it was very cold outside and i don't need much alco to pass out
I don't know wiz… Thought of amputation because of the frostbite seems much more scary than mangling your brains.

>>307423
good call. gotta walk real far so they don't find you too soon. maybe it's good i didn't go for it after all.

maybe burrowing a hole in river ice and jumping under? no way you get saved then

Forget suicide by cop, just burn a Quran.

>>307424
Are you sure your dopamine now isn't fried to crisp because of alcohol usage? You might still enjoy those things after your receptors reset.

>>307425
It's impossible to fry dopamine unless
>However, high-dose amphetamine can cause indirect neurotoxicity as a result of increased oxidative stress from reactive oxygen species and autoxidation of dopamine
I don't how to put it in my own words. I'm not a biologist or chemist

>>307427
What I meant is fucking with the dopamine system by gulping to much alcohol. I know what it feels like, it's like a total draught, nothing is fun, complete anhedonia for days. But it passes, timeline depends on how much and for how long you've been drinking.

>>307428
I don't think it has something to do with the dopamine system. Drug withdrawal happens with antidepressant too and any kind of withdraw can lead to death, seizures and other awful things that are probably not related to dopamine.
>nothing is fun, complete anhedonia
Quite common effects when a body is ill and needs to preserve energy for recovery.

I am drunk again, but I poured out all alcohol yesterday and swore to never drink again, I am too weak

>>307445
>spiraling down the rabbit hole of sexual degeneracy…
It's because of craving for novelty. A common thing among gooners.
> it will return with a vengeance eventually
They key is not to buy what it tries to sell you. It is easy to stay away from it when you know it will bring you suffering, but when it whispers with waves of arousal, sweetly promising great pleasure, it's much more diffucult. Though i've realized that if you tolerate those whispers without answering, they disappear. The more you ignore them, the less they have sway over your actions.
Although you need to stop guilt tripping yourself. Accept it and move on, don't fight the mills of 'fetishes', they are impossible to get rid of fully, because it's like fighting air and there will never be certainty that you've got rid of them.

idk monkeys goon too when they're bored i think it's not that big of a deal unless it gets in the way of keeping alive which it probably doesn't.

>>307452
through internal dialogue and self analysis. metacognition. you must question the roots of your every action and over the years you'll figure it out. also do some math when you have energy and free time to make your brain more fit. also maybe get into memory techniques for exercise. and remember to not set any quantitative aims such as i'll become this good at that or that good at this. it's gonna ruin you. this is subconscious competition mode and must avoid competition till you're ready what's even more important you must never compete where you don't belong. tldr mind your business. good luck have fun

t. depressed suicidal faggot who's probably just temporary recuperated thanks to some D3 vitamins mmmmm delicious

>>307456
>D3 vitamins
I don't know if it that was it, but ever since I started taking vitamins (multivitamin, zinc+d3, magnesium) I've been feeling much better. I have almost no background anxiety and much more energy.

>>307454
Monkeys also throw their feces at each other. Wanna do it?

>>307395
>Try to listen to happy energy music in some activies to make a constant trigger for you when you need it (the same sad trigger of music can be made with a happy trigger of energy happy music)
Makes sense

>>307399
This maybe help for a routine.

>>307400
>>307395
What do I do to stop avoiding my tasks due to anxiety/depression
>in terms of thinking the amount of things that must be accomplished is an impossible weight that will crush me and that anything I do will be wrong, not good enough, and ruin opportunities forever if I send them out. Such as emails, messages, or reports.
It's the sort of panic that sets in and causes me to run away from my must do tasks. As an example of the essentials filing taxes was a nightmare this year. I have found some relief in working with others regarding due dates & announcements to them that I will complete such & such at this or that time/date but this has its limits & is a huge problem when is still don't finish what i said I would after a week goes by.

>>307417
The adhd side of the lack of focus goes without saying.

>>307395
Are charismatic people in social talk just using a form of Hypnosis? (advanced focus)
All of my social relationships feels empty, when these people start to make laugh or feel some form of emotions they turn in a way addictive or give a lot of interest.
These people without anxiety, that have power of money or image or beauty are mesmeric, or magical.
I dont have nothing of that, fuck.
well, no
Technically, a lot of times i shock people with a lot of data or secret taboo thing i know about secret shit. not the conspiracy /pol thier but sometimes in some way i mesmerize people with these things.
Maybe i just need to get a training in my body image to others and control of anxiety.

>>302015
mind = blown

>>304656
narc

>>297753
>How do you guys fight anhedonia?
Have you tried nicotine?

I fight anhedonia with high ABV beer. But I only get drunk on Friday evening. I'm sober the rest of the time.

When I'm drunk (not wasted), I enjoy playing videogames, I enjoy music.

>>301975
>Life with anhedonai feels pointless. No pleasure, no point? Like why do anything. I just end up doing nothing

This.

>>305617
I tried it. It kinda works, but the nicotine burnout was unpleasant and accidently overdosing on velo pouches is worse than any hangover i've ever had

>>305362
OP, had a neetbucks and be happy

I was a neet then a wagie now half and half. The only good thing is money. I wanted to move to SEA after grinding but nope. Just find small joys.

>>306667
if you want ultra intense like the other wiz said, DMT. but personally i think controlled doses of LSD and working up to high doses where you can handle the intensity is what i'd recommend. I only had borderline overwhelming experiences when i got up to 4-5 hits which i think made them more profound since i worked up to that intensity, because i was able to be present and not just tripping out of my gourd

>>306762
LSD sucks, there are many other Phenethylamines that are better. LSD lasts for a long time so if you get a shitty trip it will make you want to commit for a long time. And whilst its true that nndmt is very intensive, it only lasts for like 10 mins

You're not missing anything tbh. I only get like $1k per month in neetbux and it fucking sucks.

>>306108
Not fitting into society brings a lot of practical problems with it which can be intolerable. If you can NEET it up and somewhat insolate yourself from other people, you can be fine, but you will be reminded every time you go outside that you have a target on your back and you will be surprised to see that literal strangers will go out of their way to bully you for no reason. Getting a job or moving up is impossible because your apparent Otherness is so obvious to other people that they will either consciously or subconsciously aim to put you down in your place and not allow you to exist in peace.

Make no mistake, alienation can be quite intolerable. It's not an abstraction, it's very much real. The hivemind can detect you and you will have problems having any kind of life at all.

Dead internet theory.

>>306120
Have you noticed how many new nonsensical threads are being made, then readily abandoned by the OP? It's a simple, yet insidious tactic, they've been using it on 4chan for decades. It worked amazingly well as you can tell.

I'm only going to end myself when shit gets real bad. I intend to waste all my money first, might just NEET it up until I can't live anymore. I did spend some time homeless, and it wasn't fun like I thought it was (I was autisticly dressed in armour and a sword wandering the streets and woodlands)

>>306088
>I just don't have the courage to end it.
I recommend GABAergics.

>Let's discuss strategies for getting rid of pessimistic thoughts.

that's the spirit! clearly stating the thing you want to happen. this helps the thing being born.

1) i believe the number one thing that helps you shake the pessimism is choice. embrace choice. choose to do everything you can to be healthy. the pessimism is a manifestation of auto pilot and choice is manual flight. you do your own flying by choosing to. you can choose to be healthy, you can choose to be an optimist, you can choose to say "this is fine" while sitting at the burning table no matter how strange and out of place it feels.

2) when sitting at a burning table, the impulse is to run. this only makes sense when there is somewhere to run though that isn't the burning table. the impulse to flee, not to be here, to be anywhere but here is a strong anchor into unconsciousness. i did this for decades with video games. i could not handle being a childslave forced to go to school where evil people who hate me violently tried to make me into cannonfodder so i played video games every second i could, trying to endure the torture. now i have endured the torture and i know nothing about this world because i've never been here. i was born in my late 30s.

3) habits are important. everything you do often enough you will start to do automatically and forget about and potentially not even notice when you are doing it. you have to choose to look at your habits and see if they are good for you. one after the other, question all your existing habits; which is way harder then it sounds because habits try to evade your scrutiny as to keep themselves alive; they develop a live on their own and develop self-preservation even. find the bad habits and reduce them gently, think of good new habits and do them often enough to experience something wonderful: you will be doing them automatically without having to spend conscious effort and willpower on them. i don't have to give my best to eat healthy, i have been doing it for so long that it is the only way i eat at this point.

i hope you can stay your course of positivity long enough for your efforts to become habit OP💪💪. i remember this wonderful feeling: when you do something that takes dedication that did not come easy to you and then one day when you are absent minded you notice that you are doing the thing without you having to force yourself whatsoever because the habit has formedPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>303386

i'm reading carl jung currently, dudeman thinks dreams are how the collective unconscious tries to communicate with you. once i started trying to write down my dreams i noticed how much i was dreaming.

>>306441
>Saw a workbook online called Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Depression online and decided to order it. Will report in a couple of months if it helps.

i'll read the report. when i find it i post an interesting workbook i once bought on a whim and did about half of it. it was all about drawing statistics about your life on colorful paper.

>>306441
>We all hear "just lift weights bruh" but it's not the only cure for depression. It's a very effective cure, but before that you need to build up your window of tolerance. I decided to start small. I'll go out and walk my dog in park early in the morning or late in the evening when nobody's around. I also want to read more new books and go back to fingerboarding. Fingerboarding is a good hobby because

dancing or at least some form of physical expression that can slowly become a dance i believe to be a necessary part of mental health. i like to skate to music and it feels like dancing. enjoying and playing with the movement mechanics of the human body is an essential part of the puzzle i almost never hear discussed or even mentioned so let me mention it here: dancing, skating, ice skating, or maybe an artistic martial arts like capoeira are necessary. at least dance to music you love with your headphones on in your room. if this feels shameful to you, it shouldn't. dance is the antidote to this shame that society tries to install on people.

>>302319
Check my thread around self-hypnosis and mind hygiene for some tech tips if you want
Good luck and have a good life.
>>307395