/dep/ - Depression

Now i don't know if this is madness but can a person like really just be vexxed or cursed to never have a girlfriend ? It's the fact that even when you try it always seems to not go your way, it always goes wrongly, It's fucking insane how much tries you try yet it does not work, it's almost as if there is someone stopping that shit because it's fucking insane how one can keep trying even in any way yet he cannot succeed with getting a succubus.

Do you think there is really some fucking paranormal background to males not having the chance to get a girlfriend even though they do everything that seems to be accepted by Social standards and even break social standards just to get a girlfriend yet with no avail, Even the most handsome yet cannot get it, I remember there was a thread about how people are bound to be lonely well this is a continuation, Do you think there are some who are destined to never have a girlfriend even though it seems absurd ?

Is there anyway to break from this cycle ?

Reflections on height
My mother is 4.9, my father is 5.5.
In my school years, because my mother worked as a cleaner in a factory for 12 grand (RUB*) a month and my father worked in the same factory as an electrician for 15 grand, I had a disgusting diet and a closed way of life - I was forbidden to leave the house. I grew very slowly while my boy classmates in 13-14 years old were 5.2-6.2, succubi were 4.9-5.7. I was 4.7 in 9th grade at 15 (since I went to school at 6 (while the whole class was 7-8). I was hated for my height and for the fact that I was not a calm tolerant I was a hyperactive child with the character of an alpha kid most of the bullying was psychological mostly I was bullied by classmates and teachers who were also female. The bullying could be expressed in the following teachers constantly put me as a bad example or as an example of a stupid child because I was the youngest and smallest, they looked down on me while my classmates allowed themselves to communicate with them as equals and challenge their decisions my attempts to build a constructive dialog ended with remarks and F's in the diary. I could be forced to do class work because it seemed to them that I was the easiest to force and so they reflexively emphasized me. To wring out a rag, to wipe the blackboard, to put me at the first desk in every lesson, to call me to the blackboard every lesson, to take away my backpack for not having time to put my textbooks away before the lesson started, constant teasing trying to shove me into some ugly role in some ugly play for example I played a rooster in the New Year's play because I was threatened to get a D for the quarter after which my classmates and teachers laughed at me almost immediately after that I was tricked into the role of an eagle on teacher's day where I was scripted to peck Hercules' liver while I was pecking the liver on stage. From the outside it looked like an act of sodomy and about 100 people were looking at me, including teachers and students, laughing loudly at me and shouting "peck, peck" I still do not understand how and why in their heads these people had such a desire to mock me. In addition to this I suffered from overweight, acne, stuttering and social maladjustment. No one was involved in my physical fitness, so I never knew how to do pull-ups and push-ups, which in turn caused ridicule from others. Classmates never paid attention to my advances they every day laughed at my height and my appearance Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>290006

Anyone else just under constant stress/anxiety? I feel like escape is impossible. I'm even on meds and see a therapist & psychiatrist over this shit and it doesn't help.

I'm too stubborn to love myself there is no reason to. No foundation or qualities just a thing that exists. I feel there is a loving hand placed on me begging me to let it in but I can't bring myself to it. Maybe there is something about loving your lower being before accepting the higher being. But not all lower state of beings are equal for everyone. Some are ambitious and driven, others are able to take charge and intimidate. Then there are those who are subhuman. Then what is my higher self if it is not my own desired image. A subhuman who isn't angry? I want more to life than this more to my identity than just being happy, I want a sense of foundation of who I am, accomplishments, a bit of control and charisma or at least intelligent. Like Hitler, or Lenin, Karl marx, Napoleon just anything other than this mundane existence. Could care less about their political stance it's the determination that I admire. It's not the power I want it's the tools that get me the power. Then I would feel content with myself enough to accept this loving hand of grace. It knocks but I can't open. It's not that I refuse to open it it's just so foreign to just let go of a deep desire. This hand shown me how trivial it is but it doesn't mean i am still not satisfied of how I am made. What now?

Post the saddest images you have/have seen on the internet, it can be drawing or 3D

I've been on finasteride for 2 years and I just lost my job and had to move back with my parents and I noticed that my hairline is receding it looks bad, my hair is thinning too, even the back and sides are thinning so I will never be able to get a hair transplant. I've always been anxious about going bald because I have a really bad head shape and I just don't look good without hair, or well, i look worse than with full head of hair.
Balding young is fucking brutal and I don't feel like wearing a fedora or beanies it will make it all more obvious, i feel a pain in my chest and all this stress is causing me to lose more and more hair im in my early 20s but i look now like my male relatives who are full in their 50s.
I can't hide it and I don't want to be that bald guy everyone mocks.
Why it had to be me, wizards? I'm short and now balding, fucking life sucks and did nothing to deserve this.

Up to the age of 17 or 18 I consistently felt sad and defeated already, but at least I felt alive, felt live I had a human being agency.
Now I barely feel human. I don't feel emotions, don't have any belief in myself, all my interaction with other people feels like I'm pretending to be someone, while Real Me is just a hollow husk. Consuming content doesn't work, I fail to engage with emotional beats, don't feel rewarded when I engage intellectually into something, it feels very weird seeing myself in the mirror because I think I've completely detached myself from my body after some years of NEETdom. I am capable of some intellectual tasks, but I get drained very fast. Like I can sprint something once in a while, but then I get burnt out and back to rotting, never finishing ever. It doesn't real that I could have an agency or make something or improve my life because I don't even feel like I deserve to be part of life.

Does anyone relate to any of this? Have you managed to escape it?

I am incapable of considering and preparing for the future and it fucks me up.

I didn't have motivation to study in college because I hated my subject and didn't really care about money because all I did was browse the net, watch anime, read manga and play retro video games which you can all do with a cheap laptop. I thought that the future will just get better and we might get UBI and more cheap escapist technology. I never even considered the fact that:

>i will get tired of these things and want more
>i will get sick of consooming and want to create
>my parents will get tired of me and we will get into arguments
>the future will actually get worse because of the economy, global instability and climate change
>neetbux could get reduced, come with harsh conditions or straight up canceled
>my health will get worse as the 20s buff wears off and I might need more money for better healthcare

Now I got tired of video games, internet and anime but these things ruined my attention span so its hard to focus on things that are more challenging and dont give instant gratification.

I want to finally move out but with the current housing crisis it seems impossible.

I have constant anxiety for the future and wish I had money and skills to at least have some mobility and choice and not just be at the mercy of fate.

My back hurts and I need to get a good mattress but no money thanks to the increased food prices.

There is no choice but to prepare for the future and do damage control but the mistakes of the past weigh on me every day. Especially since the mistakes I made were so obvious if I took the time to think for a few minutes and wasn't such an escapist addicted manchild who thought he could hide from reality if he ignored it.

The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?