/dep/ - Depression

>>298615
Thank you wizbrother, I am trying to heal. Some guys do try their luck abroad but people like me are too poor to even try our luck abroad although given the environment, while the West is surely better, I don't think we are particularly well liked or will be treated like another person of European Descent.

>>298620
It truly has, and I just don't understand it all, I don't understand why the hell I can't judge spaces in my side mirror to the rear and why I can't parallel park, I don't have money for a new car with a camera or to even have a camera put in my car right now. I just don't understand how people do it without cameras and when I read internet people are like "Shouldn't you be able to do this without a camera like millions of people did for decades?" and that shit just drives me insane, I mean I already have a hell lot of problems on my hand and now something like this which to people is equivalent of something as simple as doing your laundry. And I can't do it for some reason.

I feel very inferior when I see people do it, especially when I see fair skinned Indian succubi, wearing sunglasses, driving big Merc SUVs with confidence and assertiveness, while I look at them from a god-damned stupid fucking tuktuk. Although to be fair most people can do it, men and succubi, dumb and smart, black and white, Hindus and Muslims, but for some reason the universe has selected me in particular to not be able to do it, and it's crazy cause I have been driving for 4 years and I still haven't got better in this area.

Shit almost got me lynched and a massive public beating, my parents (even though I have a rocky relationship with them) were so fucking hurt when I ended up in a police station.

>>298626
Maybe it is a sign from the hindu gods, that you aren't meant to parallel park

Maybe the ritual of parallel parking is blasphemous to one of the many gods

Anyhow I wouldn't force the issue

>>298624
It gets worse with age. You will have 25-30 year old coworkers with 2 kids each who are homeowners.

They will see you as so weird and out of place as a 45 year old virgin loner they'll actively try to smoke you out of the job you have.

Ask me how I know (from experience).

>>298634
Oh! Tell us! What do they do?

>>298629
Brother don't say it like that. I thought that driving could be my backup as in if I don't get a job then at least I could've driven taxis and trips. It's about livelihood as well. Hindu Gods sure have been cruel to me lol. But still I lowkey don't understand why I am not able to do it when literally tens of millions have done it for decades. I wish I could learn it but if I ever get the money I will buy a rear camera and sensors first and foremost. At least that way, I wouldn't bump into cars and would at least protect myself from lynchings.

>>298401
I'm your age, and thinking back to when I was 20-21… Damn, I felt like such an oldfag for crossing the mythical 20 year old milestone

>>298415

Yeah turning 30 soon feels unreal.
When I was in my early 20s I could still pretend like there was going to be some magical montage that turns me from what is basically a child to an adult and it just never happened.
I still don't feel like I'm a proper "grown up".
I recall people using terms like youngwiz or apprentice here often for pre-30 wizard aspirents.
I don't feel much different despite the age and experience now.

Do you feel like a grown adult?

>How old are you?

Twenty-five, nearly twenty-six. Life has been pleasant at times, painful and fraught with regrets, as well as seeming futile despite the amusements I grant myself; however, nothing seems to agitate me more than belligerence and impositions. I foresee myself enjoying the remainder of my life without facing indefatigable turmoil or misfortune. Soon enough my grandparents will perish and leave me what could very well be a hefty inheritance.

>What brought you to where you are?

Timidity is the largest contributor to my celibacy and alienation, that and the consequential indecency and enmity I have endured from people who interpreted my timidity as an exploitable weakness. Facing undeserved scrutiny and denigration from people my entire life has made me a hermit by recourse, there is no joy or wisdom found in unpleasant company. I will not impart anecdotes and their effective influence on my psychology and philosophical beliefs, instead, I will simply allude to their sheer broadness and resolution. Throughout my life I have been ignored, beaten down, discouraged, shunned, and ousted—or perhaps my presentiment incurs this thought process, either way, the past has shaped me into something longing for a better future.

>What prevents you from changing?

Sex is ultimately meaningless, its intrinsically principal modus operandi is to perpetuate the species, therefore making the carnal ecstasy of fornication merely complimentary and altogether unnecessary. Pleasure is a tempting mistress, and even once ravaged she tempts us to despoil ourselves evermore to satisfy her boundless wants.

I will not break the rules of this imageboard, however, there will come a time when my place here shall be rescinded.

“Nothing in excess”

I'm 29 years old, I came to the first iteration of this site when I was 16 because I wanted to talk to other losers like me in a place that banned discussion of sex and relationships, because I just never cared about that stuff and my problems are bigger than something so stupid like that. I sort of have changed, I stopped using imageboards or any social media other than one to one communication with other neet peers and now I play a lot of videogames and watch a lot of movies and TV series and it's a lot better than when I'd waste away talking to random anonymous people that hate me all day. I'd recommend the same for any younger people here that just want to be a peaceful neet that doesn't care about the whole rat race. There are just too many people online, emboldened by some sense of anonymity, that wanna drag you down or rope you into something stupid, it's really not worth interacting with people who seem to just be going with whatever the popular meme culture is right now, a wizneet does his own thing, and most importantly he has fun

>>293806
>How old are you?
33
>What brought you to where you are?
alcoholism and low IQ
>What prevents you from changing?
i quit drinking, but idk, ive been trying a lot of things to get ahead financially but nothing seems to work out. my younger brother retired several years ago from crypto and i've been trying to get him to show me the ropes and how to make money doing that, but he is sort of gatekeeping all his knowledge from me just out of spite, for whatever reason, he doesn't want me to succeed. he pretends to like me but i've heard him making fun of me to his friends when he thought i wasn't listening. ive tried to do a lot of nice things for him in hopes that he will help me make money, but he always makes excuses about helping me.
despite all that, ive been trying to make my own crypto altcoins, but nothing has been successful. i make a nice website, deploy the coin, shill it on twitter, 4chan, and reddit, but no one ever seems to be interested in the coins i make.
i've been working on a game for a couple years now also, but it feels like such a monumental task sometimes that i just put it off for weeks. i have to make a bunch of sprite sheets and stuff and i just dont feel like doing it lately.
also spent awhile trying to edit videos for streamers to upload on youtube but that didnt work out either. just feels like nothing i do ever works out no matter how much work i put in.
all i know is that i refuse to go back to wageslaving. i am not cut out for wageslaving. i dont care if it means i have to leech off my parents or end up homeless or whatever, i am not going to go back to wageslaving ever again.

I went for a 3 hours walk and figured I have 3 goals in life I remotely care about.

1) I need money to build a new pc. I'm nothing without PC, so I need it. I want to play new games, be safe that it won't randomly die or crash some day, I want to to be able to run software, lots of tabs, etc etc.
2) I want to feel feelings again. I haven't felt anything good (or even sadness) in 7-8 years. I want to restore emotions, to cry at sad stuff, to be excited for new stuff I seem to like, I want to feel shades of human existence.
3) I want to feel strength in the body. I want to feel like I can do… something with my body at all. I want to feel my arms being strong, my body being durable.

Currently I'm a NEET who wants to kill myself with no job and no money. What's the best way to work toward these 3 goals?

Executive Dysfunction ruined my life. If I try to do anything productive I fall asleep(called Intrusive Sleep). I will nearly pass out at my desk if I try to do anything my brain thinks is "boring"

I've tried meds. They don't work. Tried talking to doctors. They don't care. For the love of God what the fuck is wrong with me.

>>298631
I am a bit sad. We all can sense who's offended.

>>298632
>>298633
Learn your Human Design, n00bs. "Strategy and authority". It's almost surreal that I am not stressing anymore after giving up job search, but the body seems to knows better.

A common theme amongst 'loser' and 'outcast' individuals is that they think that the succesful people get rewarded for being bad, while they get punished for being good. While theres some truth to that I think that a more accurate view of it is that succesful people dont really give their actions much thought, they just do stuff. While the 'loser' feels wronged because he gets taken advantage of because he is good while really its just him hesitating and taking life too seriously.

>>298625
SR is good if you have genuine nutritional deficiencies, which is the case for a lot of the type of people that post here.

>>298628
Good point.

>>298633
>Executive Dysfunction
Same, it took me getting seriously and possibly permanently ill to recognize it and do something about it. But, BUT!!!!!!!!!!! I think I finally regained enough attention span to be able to watch a 3 hour movie or play videogames. 3 years ago thatd be literally impossible for me. There is a lot going on with your brain, your health and your actual thought patterns. I think im getting the hang of it when it comes to my particular health and situation. My advice wouldnt be of use to others I just want you guys to know its possible to get better (although the absolute state of my life seriously makes me wonder if there is any point in trying this late in the game..)

I guess im just a fucking bad person then.

>>296089
That makes sense I'm just mad at myself that I need these things why me

If you've been prescribed it by a doctor you can tell them if it's causing you libido / erection problems. Sometimes they add a supplementary medication, usually Wellbutrin (bupropion), but other times they will just take you off it and put you on another med that doesn't affect the penis (again maybe Wellbutrin on its own or perhaps Mirtazipine).

Anecdotally, I am on Wellbutrin at the moment because I tried SSRIs/SNRIs and found them to be crap. Wellbutrin is weird; it makes you feel kind of angry and horny. I've been on it perhaps a month now and that's as accurate a description I can give you as to what it does: makes you angry and horny. I'm gonna keep taking it for now as I don't mind these effects.

Stop that shit right now.

>>298509
Can you explain how to do the holotropic breathing in a few sentences? Is music necessary?

>>298515
-You need assistants, at least one. Towels, paper, cushions. A comfy and well supplied site.
-Music is to take advantage of the trip itself.
-The holotraveler must have them eyes covered.
-Start hyperventilation.
-The sitter, the watcher must know that some special moments within the hallucinations of the sitted one must be taken care of in special, accurate ways, yet usually people asks for whatever (help for stretching, pression, voices, whatever)
-Some experiences can be quite unsettling yet none of them dangerous as it happens when using LSD.

There are some music lists in YT specially put for these practices. They always recommend carrying out these things under professional eyes.

>>297354
Mostly but it has been better lately I am trying to control myself. But can't help much with the masturbation expect of things.

wizchan 2025

>>297332
Use betametasone and patience. Skin elasticity can be developed.

the solution I know for OCD is fuck it up so badly you cannot even know how to follow back the steps, or doing different stuff on purpose.

Betametasone.

Be sure you don't desperate for the coom like >>297335 our way is the opposite, or else!

>OCD: they need to do certain things (like rituals or checks) to feel "safe" or to prevent something bad from happening
When you do not identify your fears while also not developing real defenses against them, you may suffer this. Do not relax, identify the fear and go to cut it down. buy a fucking gun if necessary.

>>298497
I will try using this medication, I hope it won't be hard to buy. I also can't coom without holding my penis' head either. Which renders my fleshlight useless. It really does upset me that I bought this fleshlight and it's off no use.

>>298528
Remember it is a helper. Skin elasticity should be exercised along with it.

It is normal for your friends to want to show you their achievements, for the average person, and even more so if they are ugly it is difficult for them to find a partner, so it is important to them.

>>297233
>anon I scored a bitch
What do you want, an applause?
>I didn't know what I was supposed to respond
Whenever this happens to you just know it: there is no answer to be given, turn away quick and ghost them. He rubbed it in your face because they are that pathetic, wishing to be greeted upon following the game of succubi, while also being evil (this meaning he might just wanted to celebrate and not to rub it on you, yet both things are possible)

You are losing yourself being amongst normies. Look for your real kind, if you really are one of use

>>297233
he doesn't sound at all like he was bragging, more like a crab being super excited that he "ascendend" and wanting to share it with his other "loser" friend

>>298516
How about just "friend"
Love (or just infatuation) does tend to make one want to talk about it without ulterior motives, too

>>297233
It's impossible for me and to a small degree even for you to say for sure but I don't think your friend wants to put you down, he's most likely just happy
The fact you think like this is an indication that your sense of self is a little off the way people woth paranoid shizophrenia suffer orders of magnitide wkrse and more all-encompassing
I am not trying to put you down either, I just want to tell you that I believe your perception is maybe warped a little and it's making you suffer more than you have to

Look, OP, it's obvious that >>298600 is mostly right about that guy but… does that make you feel different about being there taking the tale from him? Oo would you still feel the same way, wanting him to not say?

>>296491
Good on you anon, you escaped the trap and no longer poisoning yourself.

>>296480
When I try to quit porn, I always had these strange dreams where all kinds of fantasies come to my mind and make me ejaculate. The worst part is these dreams feels kinda real and I think entities such as succubus are a thing (not only the flesh succubi females, but esoteric beasts too)

>>296951
It's the call towards aggresive semen retention. Fools! Save your brains while you are still young!

>>296951
yes, they're definitely real. they also starting coming for me when i haven't fapped in weeks. this time i won't give in to them

It all comes down to not putting yourself in position where you could masturbate or watch porn easily. Something which is especially hard for Hikki/Neets that spend lots of time alone with devices that can access pornographic content in two clicks.

>>298601
>none is claiming degress are useless
they are pretty fucking useless tho if they dont land you a job that you can keep and that lets you earn money above minimum wage. worst case scenario is that you instead of a job get endless amounts of debt.
also yes the extroverted normalfag will always get the good positions while the introverted guy wont get shit so its not even worth it having a degree as the risk is too high that you wont get a job.
they dont say 'your network is your networth' for nothin.

I never heard of anyone who went to jail over college debt in America(I am not an american) is it a serious issue or just something written on paper? serious question

>>296810
>Family gatherings
At least my siblings and their succubi don't ask anything to me nor having something interesting to discuss with them, i'm just there for free food and giving them my stuff away sometimes. I'm 42 and they are all aware of my situation, and I decline firmly any broader family gatherings. Having my own place for now but will lose my job soon for a very stupid reason.
Hope they won't be so sad once I would an hero.

>>298613
>lose my job soon for a very stupid reason.
what is the reason I may ask?
>would an hero
think 'bout aul'ma

>>298408
Youtube tutorials.

>>298426
I know from experience that it's difficult, but try to say no and be proactive.

>>298408
Yeah, no offense but if you can't tie your shoes at 25 years old you may actually be retarded, have you tried applying for disability? You may not be diagnosed with anything, but you can definitely get disability cash, foodstamps, and free housing, just for being stupid, if you live in the 1st world

Were you also not allowed to go outside as a child and early teenager because your caretakers feared something harmful will happen to you? or you will end up with a bad company?

>>298610
not OP, but I was, and it makes me think: what kind of parent shelters their child like this?
my peers weren't sheltered like this, and I know because I had a few friends as a child, and their parents encouraged going outside and doing new stuff, while with mine there was always an investigation
>who are you going to?
>where do his parents work?
>what are his grades?
etc.
it was only my mom, now that I think of it
I can understand being worried about one's child, but this almost seems like deliberately trying to inhibit your child from learning about the world, to keep him believing the fantasy you weave
I'm beginning to spin out, so rant over

>>298587
do whatever you want, I don't care

>>298589
like I said do what ever you want to do

>>298573
Sounds like you have a bad gut biome. I'm struggling with the same. It's like I can take 1, maybe 2 normal shits, then something happens, and I get similar-themed semi-diarrhea for the next few weeks. Right now my gut has an eggy farts and sudden pains phase, been going on for 2 weeks. What I've noticed is that after a severe diarrhea, my gut goes into a different phase, like a great reset of the gut biome. So maybe it's a method to intentionally induce a total, gut-purging diarrhea, and hope I randomly roll better shits this time. Could be because my appendix was removed, and I read that it's supposed to be a refuge for the good bacteria. Well, I never received the good bacteria anyway, since I was born through c-section.

Anyway, I wish you solid shits and good winds.

>>298596
>What I've noticed is that after a severe diarrhea, my gut goes into a different phase, like a great reset of the gut biome
>Could be because my appendix was removed, and I read that it's supposed to be a refuge for the good bacteria
That's 100% it. The appendix serves as sort of a warehouse for vital bacterial cultures so that when something bad is eaten or an illness is contracted, you can replace the bacteria that has been purged.

Prebiotics, probiotics, and even bacterial suppositories should be taken by those without an appendix.