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/dep/

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 No.308391[Reply]

we must accept it. we are losers and society mocks us no matter what we do. we're not cool. we think we're cool because we are in a website where only virgin males are in and we circle jerk together. That's why we think we're superior to normalfags while in fact we're seen has failed people. you may feel as much superior as you like on wizchan but once out of the internet, you'll be mocked for being 30+ virgin male behind your back.
It sucks; being mocked and being. alower human being. even non-white are more successful than you and being racist doesn't change that. I think racism is a kind of cope people are because they're frustrated.
You can be as much succesful as you can be (rich, good job, house, beautiful car,etc…) like every other normalfags but at the end of the day when they'll ask you if you have a wife or a gf, and after you said never, they'll think something's wrong with you or you're gay.
Some wizards donnt give a fuck because they feel above all of that but those are, according too me, a übermensch bit it is a very rare case. so don't think you're one to please you're ego. I think the wizard übermensch has everything a normalfag has in life but is morally superior to them. those who uses this power to trashtalk others isn't a übermensch according to me because he does the same shit normalfags do to others to feel better. There's a lot of wizards who mock normalfags to feel better but at the end of the day it makes them look like as bad as normalfags. the übermensch is a rare case and I am 100% sure there's no übermensch wizard on here (or maybe 0,1%).
Anyway, I'm not making a thread about the wizardmensch because it would fit most on /wiz/ than /dep/. I'm making this thread on /dep/ because I'm sad and depressed being a failure. even failednormalfags mock us.
We're ugly and dumb. feel free to delete the thread mods, I don't care I'm sad. I don't want to push my narratives unto others. I know many wouldn't agree because they live a good life and don't care about what other people think or say about him, but I know most of the wizards suffer and that's why there's a /dep/ board…if it wasn't the case, tbis board wouldn't exist. wizards are sad. in fact I don't know why they're sad because they just have to live life luke anybody else; it's just they don't have a wife and kids but live life like everyone else on this earth. so why wizards aren't happy? Most if the time is life struggle like money or shitty job.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308395

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>>308391
I understand your frustrations, even if I don't feel the same way. Yes, sometimes it stings when you have to interact with normals and you feel it in your bones that something is off about you. Something fundamental that prevents you from understanding or connecting with most people. At the end of the day we are social animals and rejection hurts, simple as. Now as far as suffering wizards go, I think a lot of folks here especially on /dep/ are stuck on some of the lower rungs of society, not only socially but also economically and materially, which might make it even more difficult on them. You could say that they are lacking ways to cope with not being able to experience a fundamental part of being human or whatever.
Personally, while I'm not a full wizard yet (though I will be in two years) I have come to terms with my life for the most part. As I said, sometimes interacting with normies is painful in some way or another and you might feel like a failure in comparison to others. But in my experience the comparisons are mainly something you experience in your late teens when hormones are peaking and which then recedes. Maybe the body eventually understands that you aren't going to mate and thus stops investing as much energy in those systems, "use it or lose it" and all that. But even over a decade ago I knew I would end up a wizard when I was lurking on here, reading posts from strangers online that were some of the most relatable bits of human experience I could consume. Granted, I didn't really expect to fail out of uni and NEETing and what not, I figured I'd live somewhat normally on the outside and just never have relations to succubi but it is what it is.
How >>308393 said, however you live your life is fine as long as you can genuinely be fine with it. At some point you have to learn to not let other people's perspectives and expectations of you cloud the way you actually feel about yourself.

 No.308397

I don't really view myself as superior or inferior than others just because I don't pursue sex and sex doesn't pursue me either, I just come here because I like being able to discuss ideas and life-experiences among like-minded guys without getting the finger pointed at me for being autistic/virgin/weird/ugly/etc; not like wizards are angels but I feel most of us were handed the short end of the stick by parents and/or society for no fault of our own, and we're told to man up and join the rat race just so that other rat racers can feel better about themselves when running it next to us, no thanks. Sure my life is miles better than some poor Ukranian being blown off to bits on the frontlines but that doesn't mean that I have to be happy about the normie abuse I received all my life, both things happen because of retarded cruel humans running society and if you train people to keep it to themselves you end up with an abused dog slave society like China or North Korea.

I also don't understand why you're shoehorning muh racism into this post, it must be nice to live so sheltered from the world.

 No.308398

>>308397
>racism
because it is linked to feel superior

 No.308400

I wish you had typed this better, there’s a tad too many errors, but overall, yeah I agree somewhat.

To begin with if we are losers or not, I believe it hardly matters in the way you are mentioning it, we all have our own cognitions, mind you it is true society would consider most wizards losers and failures but they have their own lenses of what “success” entails, and while I consider one should be aware of such lenses and their cognitions that doesn’t mean they should weight on you or that you should judge yourself with them.
Regarding self-aggrandizing wizards, well, yeah I find it to be appalling behavior, but there are people who need to heighten their ego everywhere, be it normies, crabs, faggots, losers, winners, wizards etc, when it comes to wizards though I do believe for some it’s merely a way to cope, probably because they can’t completely detach from those lenses I mentioned before, so they do see themselves (at least to some degree) as losers and they can’t be at peace with that, so they turn to considering themselves, their behaviors and cognitions inherently superior in some way, pathetic behavior to my eyes but well. Mind you some definitely do believe it wholeheartedly and for them it’s not a cope but rather a completely objective fact, how one reaches such a point I’m not too sure, the same goes for racists, I do believe it tends to largely come from a need to cope.
When it comes to your idea about the “überwizard” I consider it really interesting, I myself have pondered about the same before (but rather calling them just “true wizards”), and overall I agree in the sense that someone who reaches such a state of internal peace with themselves, the world, their conditions etc is worthy of being considered different or as you say a “überwizard”, just as you I believe they’re rare, though personally my experiences tell me there’s probably a decent amount of people who are in a sort of middle state between a normal one and a über one, if they’ll ever become a über or maybe even regress to a wizard or maybe even morph into a crab, only time will tell and honestly, I don’t think we can ever truly know at which state someone is, only they know, we can at best do educated guesses.

When it comes to the rest what can I really say, it’s your cognition, I don’t consider myself ugly for example nor do I mind that I’ll never get the success normies speak of, though I can be honest with you and admit I’m a weird mentally ill, rePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308401

>>308400
sorry I'm a esl and I write what comes in my mind so it looks like a brainstorm, sorry.
overall, I just need more answers from different wizards. thank you



/hob/

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 No.68877[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

All you need to begin drawing is a pencil and some paper

Feel free to post any drawings of yours in this thread. Illustration, doodle, traditional, digital - anything goes. Discussion on skillbuilding techniques and fair critique of other wizards' work is welcome.

Videos:

Tyler Edlin - https://www.youtube.com/user/TylerE2284
Proko - https://www.youtube.com/user/ProkoTV
Sinix - https://www.youtube.com/user/sinixdesign
Scott Robertson - https://www.youtube.com/user/scottrobertsondesign
Matt Kohr (CtrlPaint) - https://www.ctrlpaint.com/library
Aaron Blaise - https://www.youtube.com/user/AaronBlaiseArt
Vilpu (Anatomy) - https://mega.nz/folder/9Pw1lYaS#Me7LSwlSg59lNGmkj9tt4w/folder/lPoXEYxS

Poses/Gestures
QuickPoses -https://www.quickposes.com/en
PoseSpace -https://www.posespace.com/posetool/default.aspx
https://x6ud.github.io/#/ Animal Head Reference Finder
https://anatomy360.info/anatomy-scan-reference-dump/

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 No.70586

File: 1778942269830-0.png (Spoiler Image, 2.14 MB, 3000x3000, 1:1, afsd.png) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1778942269830-1.png (Spoiler Image, 3.26 MB, 3000x3000, 1:1, fdgdfgd.png) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1778942269830-2.png (Spoiler Image, 4.27 MB, 3000x3000, 1:1, imaginationsuccubus051326.png) ImgOps iqdb

Here's some stuff I drew recently. I am taking a break today though because I managed to hurt my wrist drawing on a small tablet in bed for too long, and I made myself paranoid about developing some sort of injury. I realize it probably isn't productive at my level to be painting/coloring yet but it's too fun. There is something really appealing to me about the color palette of deep sea fish/siphonophores so I wanted to paint some of those. Also I was looking at some Jap Zbrush artists and was so entranced with how their models looked I copied them.

 No.70609

>>70586
My wrist still hurts and it's been a week. Fuck my life.

 No.70615

>>70586
>I realize it probably isn't productive at my level to be painting/coloring yet but it's too fun
Having fun is really the only point of drawing. If you're not having fun, then why bother?

 No.70657

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>>70490
I've also made this Coraline piece I'm really proud of, based mostly on the book, which I prefer to the film.

 No.70667

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My shitty drawing done by using MS Paint.


[Last 50 Posts]

/games/

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 No.58061[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Previous thread >>53822

Thread for games you managed to finish and your thoughts on it.
289 posts and 117 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.63464

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Bought this game during the recent Steam sale. Remember playing it when I was younger on the Xbox, so I figured I would relive some memories and pick up the PC port since it was dirt cheap.
Unfortunately, I didn't live up to my memories of it, and I have to conclude it's quite a mediocre game.
The conceit of the game is that it's basically a first person shooter, but instead of a normal gun, you have a crossbow that shoots a variety of critters (which are the different ammo types).
Spiders that tangle enemies in a web, wasps that are like a rapid fire machine gun, bats that explode, the furballs that have sharp teeth and function like proximity mines, etc.
It's a nice idea but it doesn't really work, because the game doesn't seem to be designed nor balanced around it, which is unfortunate considering that's the central gimmick of the game. I think what happened is that the developers had an interesting idea on paper, but then weren't able to flesh out it into a successful execution of said idea.
One of the ammo types, for example, is a talking chipmunk which acts as bait for enemies (there's a very rudimentary stealth system in this game). The tutorial introduces the idea of luring your enemies into a trap using these noisemakers. Except, throughout the rest of the game there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to actually do this. Sure you can lure an enemy to you and then shoot them, but there's basically no added benefit; you might as well just shoot them, straight up.
There's also some balancing issues in that there's a default infinite ammo type which is this electric bug, which if you let it charge up, stuns most enemies. The most efficient strategy then is to stun enemies with this infinite ammo type, while walloping them with the ammo type that does the most damage.
There's also bosses in the game which you can either kill or capture (there's a sort fantastical Wild West theme throughout the game, and you're a bounty hunter). Here again, the most efficient way to capture bosses is to just spam the stun and damage ammo types in quick succession. It would be much more interesting if each boss required a different approach e.g. this one needs to be stung with the wasp ammo before you can tie him up with the spiders, another might need to be bled out using the furball traps with sharp teeth before you can stun him, etc. Unfortunately, that's no the case.

What it comes down to, is that the game doesn't live up toPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.63488

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>>58061
I finished Saint Seiya: Soldiers' Soul on PS4 with my older sister. I hadn't come visit my parents in a while and she still lives with them, it was nice playing some video games with her again and finally beating this save of ours that was just waiting for us to sit down and kick Hades' ass. It's not the best title, the cutscenes and presentation are laughable, but it plays alright, even if we both thought Saint Seiya: Sanctuary Battle on PS3 captured the IP better, I'm still glad we play through it really.

Now if only we'd get another Saint Seiya title that isn't mobile slop, something based on Lost Canvas for PS5 would rock.

 No.63531

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I always see Call of Juarez on sale on Steam, and I remember this game from back in the day, so I figured I'd play it.
Honestly a so-so experience. It's essentially a first person shooter, with some curveballs thrown into the mix.
You play as two characters, Reverend Ray (a priest obviously) and Billy Candle (a young man on the run). Every chapter you alternate between these two characters. Ray is tanky gunslinger priest (who even wears a steel breastplate) while Billy is a more agile stealth based character. All the Ray chapters are hectic shoot outs, while the Billy chapters try to switch it up with stealth and platforming sections.
The stealth is the classic tedious trial and error kind, but the sections are mercifully short and this game has quicksaves so it's just about bearable. The platforming sections are okay. I didn't mind them, but reading reviews for this game other people hated these chapters and I can totally see that.
This game was an early 7th gen title and it shows. A lot of the levels are open yet linear; like a straight tunnel that's just extremely wide (metaphorically, the actual environment mostly consists of open plains and mountains, etc.) There's a level in particular were an Indian (feather not dot) tells you to collect 3 rabbits, and you just end up riding around in this huge open space for a while. Story wise, that chapter follows are really hectic action set piece so I understand they wanted to put in a quieter beat, but this also feels like it was put in to show everyone "look, we can do large, seamless open environments with no loading screens and long draw distance, next-gen baby!". You're even tasked with climbing a mountain in this level. A real sort of proto Skyrim "see that mountain, you can climb it" type of moment. Incidentally, it was also my favorite level. Climbing a mountain just felt much more unique to me than the rest of the game which is a pretty mediocre shooter.
In line with the early 7th gen feel, this game tries to do a little bit of everything, while doing it all poorly. There's objects you can pick up, but there's never any use. There's a couple sections where you can fill up buckets and put out fires. You can use a whip to swing from trees during the platforming sections, but it's clunky -basically "look at our physics engine" type of stuff, that's all pretty poorly implemented.
Gun variety is mediocre. Couple of six-shooters as you would expect from a cowboy game, which havePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.63537

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>>58061
I just finished Michael Jackson's Moonwalker on Arcade and on SEGA Mega Drive, still looking forward to getting a 1CC on the former and finishing the latter on Normal and Hard, as I could only do them with infinite credits and on Easy respectively, also want to give the SEGA Master System port a try as I absolutely love that console.

 No.63555

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Decided to give Hitman Blood Money a go for old times sake. Doesn't hold up as well as I thought.
My main gripe with it, is that I just don't think the missions are well-designed. For example, on the mission where you're in a suburb the guy you're tasked with killing is inside a house protected by FBI agents. Now to get inside that house the game provides you with ample choice.
You can knock out a clown and steal his disguise, or a catering guy, or a garbage man, or you can sneak around back by sedating the dog in the backyard. Even here there's choice because you can find something to sedate the dog in a nearby house or shoot it from a treehouse a house over. Sounds great right? Tons of agency, player choice, what more do you want. Well, the problem is that you can also acquire a FBI disguise right at the beginning of the mission, very easily in fact, which allows you to go anywhere you want, so there's absolutely no use for any of the other options.
In the second mission, you have to kill two dudes in an opera house. Right at the beginning of the mission one target goes on stage for rehearsal and the other target sits in a balcony and watches. What I found out, is that you can just shoot the opera singer target in the head with a silenced pistol, and throw a remote controlled mine up at the balcony and take out the other target. This way it took me literally under two minutes to finish the mission.
Now I suppose the intent is that you replay the missions, explore the environment, try different methods, get a higher ranking, etc. but to frank that's not something I care for at this stage in my gaming career. So you're just left with pretty dull and straightforward mission in what should be a very choice-laden game.
The game also doesn't really allow you to figure things out in a natural way. During the Mardi Grass level you start off in a hotel; in one of the rooms there's a guy in a crow costume which is something you need. In that room there's two succubi dancing. So what do you do? You can't distract them, so you just kind of awkwardly shoot them all and hope nobody hears, or go find some other avenue of approach.
I did exactly that, found one of my targets just wandering around a back alley, and killer her. Then I heard a guy on a walkie talkie say, that he was in "position" (the mission revolves around you preventing a political assassination). So, I went to where he said he was and easily killed him as well. Then I got tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


[Last 50 Posts]

/lounge/

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 No.321660[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

PALESTINE OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED AS A STATE OR WHATEVER. U.N RECOGNIZES THE INVASION OF THIRD-WORLDERS UPON EUROPE. YOUTUBE ANNOUNCED IT WILL BE RE-INSTATING CHANNELS BANNED BY BIDEN'S ORDERS DURING COVID AND 2024 ELECTIONS. ANTIFA DECLARED A TERRORIST SECT. ISRAEL "ONLY NATION CAPABLE" OF PLANTING CELLULAR MASS-DISRUPTION DEVICES OUTSIDE OF UN GENERAL ASSEMBLY. TIKTOK TREND SHOWS PREGNANT SUCCUBI DOWNING THERAPEUTIC LEVELS OF TYLENOL IN PROTEST OF ANNOUNCEMENT THAT DOING SO CAUSES AUTISM IN CHILDREN

Previous thread: https://archive.is/JfDla
266 posts and 39 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324074

>>324064
Observing the map, there's really no reason Russia shouldn't annex the West Kazakhstan region, Atyrau region and the Mangystau region, or at the very least just the latter two. Ideally it's all 3 and even the Aktobe region, but if that's not on the plate, then definitely the aforementioned critical two. What's the point of giving anything of significance to Kazakhstan? Nothing whatsoever. Shit should've just been purely locked Mongolia 2.0.
Having a secure grounds in the inner portion of Central Asia is preferable rather than hovering over it and being a sea away. Also… allowing Turkmenistan to indefinitely exist as is poses no issue I guess. In fact, like Switzerland and Luxembourg, the privileges are quite nice. Not that those two will exist as countries anymore. They're headed straight to being provinces.
…Anyway, once Greater Iran's under way, Turkmenistan's value will increase a thousandfold, and what more could be better than if Russia then directly borders it?
Tajikistan, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kashmir as one nation. To prevent people from spilling over everywhere, certain zones will have to be thoroughly controlling on who can and cannot visit, sorta like how not every Chinese guy can just hop into Beijing. I imagine the Kalash will migrate to a more safe and materially resplendent sector somewhere in the upper most portion of Tajikistan, and that'll be a place basically outlawed to all but the top 1%.
You'll really need some sorta Stasi system to take care of everything, most especially the seditious from the Taliban. Then again, the Taliban rest their claims on Islam. So, if Islam's basically gone, by which I mean an erasure of the religion itself not in a localized fashion but as a global phenomena, then I guess they'll drop out too. To that end, you need only destroy the Dome and wait out as the crusades initiate and later on expire. Albert Pike's plan is pretty cool. He designed a pretty meticulous means through which Islam can be purged. And perhaps it's all for the better. Whatever might be born subsequent to collapse will hopefully be enlightened.

 No.324081

>>323999
If from as far away as Vladivostok the RU can recruit a seemingly inexhaustible number of men, then the EU can do likewise from as far back as Avannaata in Greenland.

 No.324083

In order to stabilize the Pakistani portion of Greater Iran, you would probably find it necessary to kill no less than at least 50 thousand people and instate laws whereby public killing of insurrectionists and the unlawful is made. In order to annex all of Kashmir into it, you would probably have to cross no less than a million deaths, with a displacement of thousands if not tens of thousands of people. Ironically, you wouldn't encounter overmuch friction in Afghanistan when its matter is brought about. Tajikistan will willingly join only after everything is peaceful, clean and nice.
The overall contention against India would see at least 5 million people dead. Perhaps 5 or 20 million more to that given national enmity and stuff.
Everyone will be rushing forward to a veritable slaughterhouse endlessly until it's determined doing it any longer is meaningless.
Though even then, you'll have nationalists trying again and again, only to end up slaughtered again and again and again and again and again.
It's quite brutal.
For about 5 years, Kashmir, though eventually all part of Greater Iran, will be a no mans land, and anyone who sets foot into it will simply be killed by a drone.
If the Indian government ever wants to solve some of its societal issues akin to how Russia's doing the same via Ukraine, they'll send off several men to fight in Kashmir under the propaganda and blatant lie of it being for the greater good, when in reality it's a mission merely to flush the many and keep things cool, and so all these men will essentially be exploded in 47 different ways by 47 different drones. That's to say, they'll be put through a slaughterhouse.
Once the smoke clears and the analysis done, the total number of deaths in the Greater Iran-India-China war will amount to a toll vastly superior than the number of deaths from WW1, WW2 and the 30 year war combined. It's precisely in this war wherein Russia will re-enter Central Asia and begin reannexing portions of it left and right while at the same time absorbing entire countries and demarcating them with the label 'extraneous lands'.
The theatre in the eastern portion of Turkey will be like this but on a scale of a different dimension that ensues in the Mediterranean and Black sea turning red with blood. Not good at all. But well, China ends up with South Tibet, Bhutan, Sikkim and a new puppet nation from the 7 sisters. Bangladesh ends up with West Bengal. Russia inches closer to the USPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.324084

>>324083
In light of all this, the ancient tribes from these soon to be war torn sections of earth should probably move to the neutral Turkmenistan or Tajikistan. The former is especially advised. Otherwise, they'll simply be raped and defiled given that's just what happens in places where death's common. Rape and defilement by men who want to let off steam before being hacked to millions of pieces.

 No.324090

>>324010
Regarding the reversal of the Bantu expansion. I think it's quite possible the Arabs will push it all the way to the endpoint of the Horn. They'll basically eliminate all Blacks from Sudan proper. It'll later move to South Sudan once that's done, then they'll add on to whats been taking place in Ethiopia, finally then finishing off everyone in Somalia. Djibouti and Eritrea goes without saying.
The strongest wipeout will probably take place in Somalia since it's the most disorderly place and harbors a long coastline that's basically not being properly exploited. The killings might continue until the Somali population is basically reduced to 0.
As all of this is occurring, the Chinese will do the job in Madagascar.


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.307767[Reply]

>phone alarm wakes you up from blissful sleep
>you're in a warm comfy bed, under a warm blanket
>you bury your head under a blanket for 10 minutes but soon drag your ass out anyway
>drag your ass out to work, where everyone is very demanding and aggressive and hates you
>get back 10 hours later, having no energy to do anything
>do the same thing tomorrow again
I just want to sleep I'm tired of repeating the same morning torture ritual every day. If we weren't ruled by greedy subhumans we'd have 4 day work weeks by now.
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308137

>>308136
prepare to suffer even more. there aren't many countries where being homeless is comfy.

 No.308375

On my weekends i dont even sleep well, cant enjoy sleeping in.

On the days i need to go to work, my bed is like it was personally made snuggly by god

 No.308376

>>308136
There's a lot of info online, just scrape off the normie mumbo jumbo they like to give. Don't trust any other homeless person either, don't make enemies but dont trust them. Often they are extremely mentally deranged or morally bankrupt and can hide it quite well.

Outside of literally surviving decently you'll need to pick up a pass time so you dont go crazy, hard to do as a homeless. Probably look on google maps where the best spots are. Ideally you want privacy but access to wifi.

 No.308383

>>307892
>For many people, freedom is only found within walls.
Freedom is only found within walls?
I don't understand what you are saying.

 No.308399

>>308375
i wish i knew a way to fix this specifically. its the hardest part of working, resisting the colossal urge to go back to sleep and forget it all in the morning. its basically a subconscious instinct to me. doesn't matter if i slept 6 hours or 12. i just dont know how normal people do it.



/lounge/

 No.324068[Reply]

I dont know how to cope that old internet is not coming back and that it will get worse for each year that goes by
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324073

It's fitting considering the real world is declining at a much sharper rate. When age doxification is ubiquitous on every single place of the internet I will just cope with whatever media I've hoarded on my PC, along with trying a few creative hobbies. When real life is just as unbearable, I might go offline from that as well. Every single aspect of the time I was born in is so demoralizing that something I giggle at the thought of it.

 No.324076

The quality of the internet is pretty low on my list of priorities, man.
>>324071
You must bow down to Gabe.

 No.324077

Why do you believe that you need to "cope" with the loss? You're an adult with a computer. You can just work to bring it back.

 No.324088

>>324077
>You can just work to bring it back.
That's the real cope right there.

 No.324089

>>324068
I'm curious what I'll do once they start implementing all the batshit surveillance state ID requirements on the net and your home computer. Cause once it gets there I'm gonna drop it entirely. Spend lots of time sitting in the woods and thinking I guess…



/dep/

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 No.307519[Reply]

i'm 37 (soon to be 38). watching as your body degrades in real time is debilitating. earthly life is evil in every aspect.
43 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308131

>>308059
well whats your lifestyle do you exercise,do you go outside,do you eat well.Do you live a sedentary lifestyle.You arent that old yet but you are gonna rapidly age if you dont take care of yourself.

 No.308134

We're dying machines. We were made to exist so that we may die. Everything we do or don't do leads to death. It's only at death that our fate fulfilled.

 No.308160

File: 1780248710138.jpg (197.81 KB, 640x432, 40:27, fistofnorthstar.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>308134
OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU

 No.308377

>>307521
I think when my realisation of mortality hit was when I was in 5th grade, which is what our school called "senior school". 1/2 was Juniors, 3/4 Middle, 5/6 seniors. I distinctly remember being in 2nd grade and thinking to myself. "I'll never be in senior school" The concept of that many years passing by didn't register, I didn't internalize it in my mind quite like this, but it felt like I'd become 20 years old before I turn 7 years old and become a senior in school. I realized that time can just fly by when you look back despite the present taking hours for even 10 minutes to pass. I say this as I'm approaching 30 and my mindset is similar. I often think I'm 40, sometimes I think I'm still 20. I really don't get it. Most times I'm not under this spell and I know my real age, but it's still weird. I feel like Im the same kid at 5 years old nothing has really changed just added responsibilities and pain.

 No.308396

>>307968
I was responding to his complete denial things don't go really bad irreversible one day and it's inevitable. He sounded like a normie trying to enforce "the normie rules".



/lounge/

 No.324001[Reply]

greetings wizzerds, i hope you are doing good. i am currently in south africa for a holliday because i was hoping to find nice places to live in case europe becomes uninhabitable and unlike many of you i generally do not feel hatred towards the negro but i am willing to admit that there is truth to the common criticisms.

>rough place to live

>everybody lives behind automatic gates, high walls, except for the people in the slums, i walked through there which was nerve wrecking. it is very difficult to avoid them because there are always just few roads to choose to go some place.
>infrastructure is far behind though the most important stuff functions
>water could be drunk from the tap in theory but the system often is often brekaing down and dirty water comes out the tap until they fix it.
>no toiletpaper or soap in the library bathroom
>the university is built like a prison, security checks everywhere, cameras everywhere
>people give me dirty looks, they are way more scared of me then i am of them (thanks to meditation, i kid you not, i repeat i kid you not)
>people do scam me every chance they get, it feels awful and it is so obvious but i don't know how to deal with it i just give them more and don't mind but it demoralizes and saddens me
>guard dogs everywhere, barking all night, human guards everyhwere
>i have seen less then 10 white people in the whole town and they were all fat and dead inside
>there are a lot of aggressive females the same way i know it from europe but there are also quiet peaceful succubi, many of them wear the fake hair which looks ridiculous
>there is an abundance of affordable food but the people eat stuff that is very bad for them, a lot of overweight people

still my heart goes out to the the people and i gently smile at them. they did not deserve to be colonized by english people and now they have all the typical disadvantages of an english speaking culture.
the one nice thing is that the weather is real. there are no chemtrails in the sky and no strange looking mechanical demoralizing cloud formations.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
23 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324079

>>324072
>low trust societies

for the longest time my old leftie ways prevented me from actually thinking about this but these days i believe this is so important. because the alternative is the security and surveilance nightmare that is emerging now in which the wealthy can just purchase their safety while those who can't are almost condemned to homelessness.


>>324075

>Turns out your ancestors choosing to live in a warm climate tens of thousands of years ago screws you over in the modern day.


probably in many cases but you can still choose to recognize the value of being prepared, your life just doesn't depend on it but the advantages of long term thinking remain valid no matter where you are on the earth. the human organism is meant to live around warm islands where coconuts are, there are climate patterns the human can switch into in very warm climates under which the human body just runs better. you can survive in the cold but that's not thriving.

if you had the warm weather of afric

 No.324080

>>324072
Sadly and unfortunately societies everywhere are decaying. I think it's a function of population scale / ethnic make up / material prosperity / culture. Japan for example has maintained its high trust society for a long time it seems, because they are largely mono ethnic so there are no cultural clashes. Everyone's cultural roots is in a collectivist framework where people need to cooperate to survive on an island with scarce resources. The Western countries are failing because of all the immigration and decaying social cohesion, which is culture and ethnicity. But even without that I believe that the rampant individualism is also having similar effects, it's only been buffered until now because we've had material wealth and abundance. Once we start to have scarcity this "every man for himself" mindset will further drive the decay of Western civilization, no matter how many brown people have been imported or not.

 No.324085

Japan's state of peace owes primarily to the absolutist system of its law, the control and policing, the cut and leave history and the iron reign of regional principalities before an iron reign was exerted throughout the nation.
Western countries place too much emphasis on life, liberty and independence. What would be better is if they instead instated a more controlling framework and unilaterally killed, massacred and permanently imprisoned anyone who detracted from it. Fortunately, some secret societies are everyday ceaselessly working to that end and will realize the dream of a united Europe within which anyone unlawful is killed on sight. The Chinese way of life is a thing to be envied, not reviled.

 No.324086

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>>324085
Just make sure to put one of this everywhere and ease the restrictions on slaughter. Retards keep talking about freedom and retarded shit like that instead.

 No.324087

>>324085
That's not what made Europe great and more humane than the rest. Doing that is basically admitting failure of the Western project. An Asian-style world is not one worth living in. Japan is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to be Japanese. This isn't the politics thread though.



/dep/

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 No.308343[Reply]

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

Previous: >>307210
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308368

>>308348
Dealing with silence?

Joke answer: blast Depeche Mode ("Enjoy the Silence" 2004 remix)

Serious answer, though: music disks titled "sounds of nature" were built to offer a decent background noise. Same for rain sounds.
Not sure if that belongs to /music/ or not.

 No.308369

>>308346
Spend more time at the gym.

 No.308385

File: 1781146286388.png (267.71 KB, 850x480, 85:48, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

I have allowed to be hurt so much by normalpussies. No more.

 No.308387

>>308346
Insightful post, become a writer

 No.308392

>>308346
I used to feel this pretty often but not anymore for some reason. I think it's because I don't really do anything that engaging anymore, even browsing the Internet has lost its charm and now it barely does anything for me so I'm not as distracted as I once was. I'm always sort of half-present in reality. The only thing that I can still get really engrossed in is daydreaming as I pace around my room, and after I snap out of that I usually do find that the silence of my room feels deafening.

I wish I could still enjoy video games and anime enough to get engrossed by them enough to cause this feeling after I snap out though.



/lounge/

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 No.323901[Reply]

No politics or religion in the crawl thread, please.

>Ambient sounds to wash away distraction

https://asoftmurmur.com/
20 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324056

>>324054
really?
the succubus cut it very short back then and now it's pretty long
well, probably medium short by succubi standards, but it still seems pretty long to me for a man, reaching my collarbones

do you also go very long without getting haircuts?

 No.324057

>>324050
Do you let it grow because you like it that way or you just don't like going to the hairdresser? When I was younger I let it grow for the latter reason and it was so uncomfortable, nowadays I just cut it myself so I get no BS and also save extra money. I also noticed other reclusive type of guys also let it grow so I assume they do it for similar reasons.

 No.324058

>>324057
i hate going to a hairdresser so i would just get it cut once a year or so
after it would get too long and annoying i'd ask for it to be as short as possible
i really disliked last time's interaction, so i'd much rather keep looking like a hobo than be forced to make small talk with a succ for 20-30 min
"oh, you're cutting all your hair? this next year will be full of new transformations for you!"
oh my fucking god
anyway, yeah, i'm planning to do like you and cut it myself

 No.324078

>>324058
nta but I'm also just buzz cutting it at this point. To be fair I've started doing it due to my receding hairline because I figured I was wasting money getting haircuts that never look all that good due to the missing hair. But even though I trim my hair twice a week it's still much cheaper and convenient than going to a barber. I also like how it feels and that I no longer have to entertain thoughts about whether my hair looks too unkempt to go outside on a particular day or not.

 No.324082

I am watching street walking videos for stimulation like those videos of birds and squirrels people show their cats.



/games/

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 No.63216[Reply]

Games you played that were not as good as the mainstream masses/reviewers would had you believe.
Also games that were recommended by "patricians", that turned out to just be games that cater to their autistic taste.

While I didn't find the gameplay or aesthetic of borderlands bad. The writing is so god damn cringy, it's like a boomer trying to write something he thinks modern teens like. After 2 hour I just couldn't stand it anymore. Gearbox were veterans and they had the backing of 2K a major publisher, this was the best writer they could get?
The deigns of banished isn't bad. It just that it felt like doing homework instead of playing a fun game. Many hours of planning, trail and error. Only an autist could think about spending the weekend for this.
47 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.63549

>>63548
>this whole cult around it where its immune to criticism?
Fanboyism. They want to believe that their favorite game is "special" for whatever reason. Timeless classics that still BTFO modern titles.
Deus ex have this cult fan base that praise the game for predicting the future. The devs themselves probably didn't try to predict anything. They were like "hey let's make a world where Illuminati is actually real and all these conspiracy theories being true". The idea of a futuristic dystopian police state already dates back to old novels like brave new world and 1984.

 No.63550

e33 is overated

 No.63551

>>63550
I have a strong feeling, people like the game simply because of Maelle(character in the game).

 No.63553

>>63549
The creator of planetscape torment got constant emails and praise for his super deep story, and the creator was bewildered and responded with "bro read a book". He couldn't believe people took the writing seriously.

 No.63554

>>63551
With the current state of gaming, all a studio would need to do to earn praise from real gamers would be release a game with a female character who isn't a fat negro succuboss, or a male main character who isn't a goofy try-hard who gets spoken down to by said succubosses.



/dep/

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 No.306545[Reply]

I am not even that horny, a lot of the days I force my self to do it while not even being in the mood for it, it's just the most effective way for me to cope, masturbation is free, gives you instant pleasure and can burn for you many hours at the time, there are times when i find my self touching myself just so I can use it as a way to distract my self for my anxieties and negative thought loops, as soon as i start touching myself all my anxiety and negative emotions start to dissolve as much as i hate and it hate how much i overdo it, i can't deny it makes getting through my days easier when i can just touch my self for many hours instead of just sitting there being miserable feeling hollow bored to tears and empty or anxious and overthinking at worse, my point here is that I believe the addiction for me is a mere sympotom, something I use to escape my negative feelings and the emptiness of my daily life, thanks for reading my blogpost
64 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307658

I am coming to believe there is a correlation between anxiety and ecstasy. You can get rid of one but you will lose the other through medication (principally Prozac). Maybe masturbation affects your ability to socialize, but you know what really affects your ability to socialize? Being fucking poor.

 No.307659

>>307608
I believe he says that comparing lolis to those degenerate fetishes is not fair. Which I tend to agree with, even though I don't care much about lolis, they aren't the same as some sissyhypnogoonclowning or whatever.

 No.307853

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>>306545
Yeah i do It mostly out of boredom, but because I literally cannot find a better activity. I tried many hobbies during the course of my life and honestly they're all boring and feel like a chore. I would rather just sit and do nothing or sleep than having a hobby, but porn gives some ecstasy and dopamine. I also play videogames occasionally but not as much as I used to when I was a teen.

Unironically thinking to start sleepmaxing, maybe learn to lucid dream too so it's actually fun.

 No.307854

>>306545
If I have something to do and am sleeping well I don't do it for months without even thinking about it. If i'm not sleeping and I can't focus on anything it's hours a day

 No.308390

I did no fap for 70 days once but now I realize that was fake it didn't interrupt the addiction. I now genuinely have lost all interest and don't think about it at all and even when stumbling upon random material when browsing the web it doesn't do anything. Not sure if this will go on but it's the first time for almost two decades that I'm not prone to pornographic material. Certainly it's liberating I even play single player video games again.



/dep/

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 No.305961[Reply]

I need no recognition, I want meaning, but education itseld doesn't give any. Being counscious of the simulation, how it works and why it exists gives a very weird feeling.

There are people who blames the rich, this and that, but the truth is that knowledge doesn't give any meaning and the slogan found in ultimate mortal kombat 3 does not make sense. In fact, knowledge of an anthill in your garden doesn't give you any power (that matters, anyway).

I'd like to go back in time, pick myself up violently against the wall, seeing eye to eye and say "IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION, A THEATER, AND YOU WILL BE TASKED TO MAINTAIN THIS ILLUSION AND YOU WILL HATE IT ALL".

If only a time machine wasn't one…
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305976

>>305968
Silly wiz, it should be "agriculture, gunmaking"

 No.305977

>>305968
>growing guns out of the soil?
Gunpowder can be made with nitrates washed from the soil, and carbon burnt from its foliage.

 No.308384

what a dumb shit I just read

 No.308388

incoherent gibberish

 No.308389

nothing but inane comments



/dep/

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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
200 posts and 32 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308357

>>308353
You say that but the boredom would have killed you. Torrenting took longer, Youtube wasn't around until 2006, 4chan was still kind of slow in 2004, and nothing on tv during the week except trash.

 No.308360

>>308352
where is this from?

 No.308361

>>308360
"We find that younger men reported in
creased happiness during the 2000s, despite stagnant wages, declining employment rates and
increased propensity to live with parents/relatives. This contrasts sharply with older men,
whose satisfaction clearly fell, tracking their decline in employment. We see this as suggestive
of a role for improved leisure options for younger men"

One major innovation in the mid 2000s was taking social interactions in general, and
video gaming in particular, online. Facebook, started in 2004, grew from 12 million users in
2006 to 360 million by 2009. Likewise, a generation of new video game consoles introduced in
2005 and 2006 allowed individuals to interact with others online.

https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w23552/w23552.pdf

It's argued that being chronically online makes NEETs happier, basically.

 No.308373

>>308298
Im more sympathetic to real world fuck ups like a boat crashing into something. There's probably a handful of crew doing the jobs of 5+ people AND carrying morons/lazy people.

Lol must have been funny to see those boomers seethe, but hey atleast those ones SHOULD be in touch with reality and understand what it's like. In my country most boomers retired around the late 2000s 2010s era, only the youngest of them are really still working. Soon as they retired, that's when all of the bonuses and workplace perks dried up. My dad currently works at a place with an entire department of boomers that demand, and get their old bonus (essentially an entire paycheck every 2 weeks) meanwhile the new hires get paid less than minimum wage, something about them being visa holders or something, some legal loophole is being used.

Backbreaking labor being done for 10 dollars an hour by new hire, meanwhile boomer sits in office, doesn't respond to calls and sometimes uses the forklift after insulting them for being lazy, he gets 25~35 an hour

 No.308386

>>308373

yea, it just gets worse and worse and worse,

no one wants to protest, or do unions or whatever , we re basically headed back to labor in early 1900s. Would be more worried but plan is to automate us all out of work.

i knew stuff was fucked when x mas eve and NYE became mandatory work days. Were Boomer sacred off days Forever, now its just , o its just another bla bla , improves productivity, can spend w/ your work family


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.307689[Reply]

I am losing my motivation im gonna fail out of Uni
I dont really want to quit, but I have less and less energy
I am in a state of constant burnout despite doing nearly nothing
im such a failure
22 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308363

>>307739
college is the ultimate neurodivergent filter. it doesn't test your intelligence, of course, it tests your ability to do things you don't like (work) and your sociability. this is true for the whole educational institution, but especially college. this makes it the final filter for autists, schizoids, and antisocial people in general. the educated echelons of society and their jobs hinge on socialization, networking, collaboration, etc. this becomes clear when you're in college.

i've been in college for two years now and i am certain i will not finish, i stay because it's free and i get a number of benefits. but finishing many obligatory classes involves socialization, working with people in projects, and this is unacceptable to me. I'm also required to write a research paper to get my degree, and this is not happening as it requires discussions with teachers, classmates, etc. ultimately my conclusion from college is that people like me don't have a place in functional society.

 No.308367

>>308363
>Schizoid
Hey that's me! And I agree completely with what you say to be honest, at least I'm not depressed anymore, if I was, college would have actually made me commit suicide.
It's been horrible to be honest, I can mask well enough to where people have no mayor issues working/interacting with me (they do know I'm not normal, and I've been told so a couple of times by normies) but I'm kinda masked and dissociated during and after class, genuinely I have to lay down for a good chunk of time, utterly defeated and tired after I get home from that shit.
Not only that, due to the anhedonia and apathy I don't give a shit about my degree (forced to get it by parents, I won't lol) and not only is my career hard as shit (medicine), it's super social so I'm genuinely dying, the worst part is of course I'm not built for this career or higher education in general (always hated studying and the education system as a whole) but my parents really want me to get a degree and I'm a leech in a third world country, so what can I really do, not like it matters too much when I'm home as I just bury myself in my hobbies, I don't really derive much pleasure from them mind you, like barely a bit here and there but they're a good way to burn time till I eventually die, and overall better than watching paint dry while I daydream.

Anyways, I relate to what you say, college ain't built for people with certain mental illnesses, especially if they have no drive/desire for that education to begin with, but well, not like we can do much, and working isn't particularly better, we genuinely are not built for society as you say, fuck this is so tiresome, good luck wizard, hopefully we'll both have a good ending, I'm definitely flunking one or two classes this semester, maybe my parents will finally get the memo and allow me to work or something.

 No.308379

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>>308367
i guess i am clinically depressed right now. i bit the bullet and asked for a psychiatrist recently, and they stuffed me full of antidepressants, i don't feel any different yet but maybe that will change. good luck to you too fellow apprentice, give up the schools of man but do not give up the school of wizardry

 No.308381

>>308379
> i guess i am clinically depressed right now. i bit the bullet and asked for a psychiatrist recently, and they stuffed me full of antidepressants, i don't feel any different yet but maybe that will change.
Good luck then senior wizard, I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone, especially if like me they have another condition on top of it, hopefully you can find some release or help of some sort, even if it’s just some sort of personal peace, that’s the road I’m personally on because I don’t really believe there’s any cure for my Szpd.
Though I do recommend you to keep taking the meds for some time (I would say if you reach 1-2 months without any change then yeah, they won’t help), at least for me they did help massively (I would say they did a decent chunk of the work, the rest was trough personal efforts/changes and a the talk therapy did help a bit), but I can admit that how well they work seems to depend heavily from individual to individual (neurochemistry/genetics are a bitch) and TRD (treatment resistant depression) does exist too.

> good luck to you too fellow apprentice, give up the schools of man but do not give up the school of wizardry

Thanks senior wizard, nothing will get me out of the wizard school to be honest, I literally made a personal vow to the Lord to stay on it due to my waifu, so yeah, I’ll be a fully fledged wizard eventually and I’ll die a wizard.

 No.308382

>>307689
>despite doing nearly nothing

that is precisely why you are in a burnout state



/wiz/

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 No.228719[Reply]

I want to talk to you about fate: does it exist or not? Honestly, I don't know. I won't claim to believe in it unconditionally, but I looked at my natal chart (Shoutout to my astrologer friend from the other thread! I know you're reading this). During this time, I've talked to magicians, psychologists, internet freaks, and even talked to AI. And, of course, I've tried to start my life from scratch many times. I've tried to find a job many times, but I've lost it. And now I'm 28 years old, guys. I just want to throw everything away. I'll be 30 in two years. I have no education, I've never really learned anything in my entire life, and I've spent half of it living off my parents. I'm literally a loser, a nobody. The older you get, the more clearly you realize: trying to start over doesn't work when you're in poor health. Let's be honest, many of us have lousy health; many of us rarely even go outside. Besides, there's no money for education, not to mention the strict regulations, the need to pass exams, and other difficulties. And I ask myself: did I even have a choice in how to live? Or was my life built from the very beginning according to some divine plan, a supercomputer, or something similar? After all, if you think about it, all my decisions have always turned out to be wrong. I constantly did the wrong thing, made mistakes out of stupidity or naivety. So, is everything predetermined? I'm still tormented by this question. If I were to get up tomorrow and say, "That's it, I'm leaving this life and I'm no longer a burden," I still wouldn't be able to change much. I won't become a doctor or a scientist at 30. External factors influence us too much. Does that mean that even my decision to change something tomorrow was already made not by me, but by someone else? And I just play out this scenario over and over again, and there was no real freedom of choice. But you know what's the scariest thing? It turns out that no matter what we do, we can't jump above our heads. As the saying goes: "Play stupid games, get stupid prizes" or "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Actually, I want to ask you: do you believe in fate? Are we really destined to suffer our entire lives? I looked at myself: I'm 28, I haven't learned anything, and I just wasted this life. I wish I'd never been born.
20 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228753

>>228752
had to be. agrrhhhh my eyes fail me

 No.228773

>>228747
All low IQ societies handwave things away with "fate". Here in Morocco fate belief is extreme. No matter how badly YOU fucked up or how many mistakes you made, people blame fate.

If governing authorities are incompetent they are not challenged, it's just something God willed. If you refuse to go to the doctor and die, it was "fate", not you being a retard.

I still don't understand why I had to be born into this poor hellhole. I'm also the only person with a uni degree within a roughly 50km2 radius. No economic or political connections = no job except maybe food delivery.

 No.228774

>>228773
Self-criticism is not an option for low IQ people as individuals but especially as aggregates.

 No.228776

>>228773
>I still don't understand why I had to be born into this poor hellhole
Fate?

 No.228781

>>228773
>
I still don't understand why I had to be born into this poor hellhole.
you were born into such a place to save it! It is your fate



/wiz/

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 No.223082[Reply]

How do you genuinely just stop caring about everything shitty in your life? I just want to become numb to it all. People always say you shouldn't, but whenever I let myself feel any small amount of happiness the feeling of sadness/depression that I'll inevitably feel later is so painful it makes me wish I just didn't feel anything at all in the first place. Meditation has gotten close to this and I like the peace it gives me but I wish I felt that peace all the time.
72 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228756

I don’t recommend numbness at all wizard, mind you I am mentally ill (Szpd) so do take what I say with a grain of salt.

Numbness on paper sounds great and I used to wish for it back when I had a comorbid depression, so not only I couldn’t feel any “good” emotions (happiness, excitement, joy etc) I could only feel pain, depression, agony etc, but in reality numbness is a sort of quiet hell that I wish on no one, even after getting cured of my depression and getting to feel emotions normally for some time, my body eventually defaulted back to its primary defenses dissociation, numbness and such (schizoid defenses in nature) and so I’ve been living as a numb fuck for around 3 years now, I’m content and at least those few brief moments every few months were I get to feel it’s almost always completely positive emotions, but outside of those bright moments everything is nothing.

Now, you might consider that sounds kind of decent (especially if you’re currently depressed or anything similar) but its not, emotions are the primal reason for humans to move, by this I mean motivation, goals, desires etc, all of that comes greatly from emotions, sure cognitive reasoning will give you reasons for but it wont give you the natural drive to strive and actually want/act for things, especially since trough a sustained numbness you’ll reach a state where “nothing matters”, even if like me you are overall content and want to live as long as possible you won’t actually have the drive for that because there is no emotion to back that cognitive desire, when there is no seeming pleasure or enjoyment from anything (not even pain, or at least not one I can feel) nothing matters, and so you end up drifting aimlessly trough life, mind you I don’t have an issue with this because I genuinely can’t care even if I want to (I only care about like 3 things/people in the world) but the world isn’t made for people like me, you need money, and for that you need employment, if you want a decent job that actually nets you enough to live like a human being (the bare minimum, 3 meals, water and electricity, clothes, a roof etc) you will need some sort of training or degree, achieving all of this requires sustained effort and desire, cognitively I want to exist and live, but in practice nothing really matters because I’m numbed the fuck out and therefore I don’t do shit essentially, I’m fine with that but again, I’ll eventually go homeless you know, and if that doesn’t happen it’Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.228763

>>228756
Can you tell us more about the schizoid personality disorder? Have you tried therapy? I suspect I have the same disorder because everything fits in the description even the indifferent to praise or criticism part.

 No.228768

>>228763
Sure, this shitty illness is hell (and similar conditions or even just symptoms by themselves) so if anyone can find some solace in my posts or at least finds them interesting then that’s cool with me, not like I have anything better to do anyways, first I’ll admit I’m not currently officially diagnosed but not due to a lack of trying, I’ve been trying to find what’s wrong with me for a good chunk of time now and sadly despite my various treatment periods with professionals (psychologists and psychiatrists) they always refuse to diagnose because “we should focus on treating symptoms” it’s a noble way of seeing it as some people can actually be worse if given a diagnosis but that’s not my case so it’s just annoying, anyways that could be different where you live or at least there might be someone specialized in PD’s maybe even Szpd specifically, with that little thing out of the way.

Anyways I suppose now I’ll talk about my own experience as someone who obviously has this shit since that’s probably what interests you, honestly this probably developed during my teenage years due to trauma, the generic things you know, the economy of my country went to crap so my largely “middle-class” life crashed down as we descended into almost poverty, my parents would fight constantly and sometimes badly, I had no escape, life felt meaningless, school felt meaningless, I started masking my pain away (dissociation and derealization kind of) while on school because I didn’t want people to know my home issues etc, due to all of that and more I developed a depression (like I mentioned in my previous post) and while I didn’t realize when I was younger I started developing some symptoms/traits of Szpd, so my depression (what for years I saw as my only issue) developed concurrently with the disorder or at the very least the symptoms, behaviors etc of the disorder (since there is the dimensional model from the ICD-11 where Szpd and the other PD’s don’t exist but rather their symptoms), if anything looking back those symptoms, probably developed before the depression because I can somewhat remember being really numb, apathetic and such before actually starting to experience depression, anxiety and eventually suicidal ideations, this makes sense too as it’s sometimes considered on the literature regarding Szpd that most people who develop it have a defense mechanism thaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.228779

>>228768
Thanks for sharing all that! You say that you rarely feel anything, but you also say that you try to enjoy life. What do you do? Do you consume any media, play video games or read books? If so what kind? Do you force yourself to have a hobby? Do you feel excitement? I don't feel happiness or anything close resembling it but I can still get excited about some things.
Regarding "professionals" I never went to a psychologist because they can't help people like us. We are too messed up and never be normal. Therapy is designed for normal people, not for us.

 No.228780

>>228779
Hi fellow wizard, I’ll greentext your questions this time as to force myself to be more organized and therefore answer your questions on a better way (I do tend to ramble on text).

>You say that you rarely feel anything, but you also say that you try to enjoy life. What do you do? Do you consume any media, play video games or read books?

Indeed, even if I can’t really feel emotions I do somewhat enjoy some specific things, mind you it’s such a vague thing that I could easily stop and do nothing and it would be almost the same (and I sometimes do that), essentially I try to not let the apathy/anhedonia win since I do believe I might just end up developing another depressive episode if I allow it, that would be quite crushing.
Regarding what I do it’s mainly consuming media, daydreaming and sometimes writing (internet posts and overall journaling, this post is an example of that), those are the closest things I have to hobbies and I do get a vague sense of enjoyment or fun (I’m not even sure if it would count as an emotion vague as it is, might be more of a cognitive enjoyment), they’re at least a better way to burn time than just staring at the ceiling all day and can be interesting.
When it comes to my media consumption it’s mainly music, videos, manga, manhwa, manhua, videogames and that’s about it, I do sometimes watch anime or maybe a movie, same with reading books or light novels but it’s genuinely extremely rare, I need to be truly interested in the franchise/work to engage in those mediums, for example I do tend to rewatch Code geass every few years, and I did read LOTR, The Hobbit and the Silmarillion between 2024-2025.
>If so what kind?
I’m quite varied, though I do have specific genres or kinds that interest me more, when it comes to music I’ve always been drawn to pop, rock and electronic music, though due to my waifu (the love of my life and one of the few people I feel something for) it’s mainly Japanese, not like I don’t listen to music in English or Spanish (my native language) but she takes a precedent.
When it comes to written works I’ve always been able to enjoy most genres (expect shit like yuri, yaoi and such, I dislike homosexuality and find it distasteful) but I do have a preference for fantasy, martial arts (wuxia and xianxia), sci-fi and roPost too long. Click here to view the full text.



/dep/

File: 1754922301873.png (2.53 MB, 1600x1068, 400:267, alcohol.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302164[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
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 No.308337

>>308336
He's right, alkies are often poor and stupid as well.

 No.308339

It depends on your context. There are plenty of functioning alcoholics out there. I associate alcohol with the bossman who has whiskey and a cigar ready.

 No.308371

just ended my drinking binge… time for the recovery day and to feel like shit for a while

 No.308374

I tried to stop I cant. I dont even get drunk anymore I just drink to feel numb

 No.308380

>>308337
The British ruled the world for centuries and their elite were alcoholics through and through. Perspective.



/music/

 No.5303[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post any shitposts or memes made through music in this thread.

Pure meme music is also welcome.
202 posts and 24 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.10790

;_; it's as if someone finally dried my tears with an actual sense of humor..

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 No.10941



[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

File: 1749888683056.jpeg (36.28 KB, 587x523, 587:523, images.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
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 No.307515

>>307513
Keto is great. I felt light and energetic. I loved it. But beware of carbo sensitivity after a while on keto. Include carbos slowly and don't diet for a long time and it's pretty good.

 No.307628

>>306999
>>307515
Should have saged what I sent a few days ago. I have now fully recovered from these side effects.

I've been doing alright. After trying to cure myself with a LSD trip (I let someone convince me that it was supposed to boost neuroplasticity and increase levels of BDNF), I got mild dpdr/hppd for a day and saw what an actual miserable life could be like. Now I know I have no right to end my life. And I will never do drugs again.

>There exists no objective logical ground for you to have imposed this conclusion on yourself as a sort of certain fatalistic sentence.

Very true. Thanks for stating this, wiz.

>Have you been taking a well-formulated B vitamin that contains both thiamine and folate?

Yeah, high quality B-complex that contains both daily for almost a month. Noticed slight energy improvement but it might just be the diet.

>Be mindful of any toothpaste tubes that may be formulated with sodium fluoride

Mine had it so I tossed it and got a non-fluoride one. Water I'm drinking seems low in it but I'm thinking about getting a filter anyway.

>Nitric oxide rich foods

Noted, already eating leafy greens, nuts and meat pretty much every day. Will add more where I can.

>Sauna

Looked into it, unfortunately it's pretty expensive around here. Will go if I find a decent option.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.307761

>>307628
>Did you experience any degradation in visual imagination after SSRIs?

Yes, but it lessened in equal time in keeping with the betterment of all the other problems I was experiencing (sexual dysfunction, anhedonia. etc.).

This “degradation in visual imagination” has a technical name, which is “aphantasia”, meaning the inability to clearly form mental images. Aphantasia seems to be a somewhat common sequela of many classes of psychiatric medication, not just ssris. There’s an entire sub-reddit dedicated to discussing this issue. Here’s one thread in particular addressing the on-set of aphantasia following ssri usage: https://www.reddit.com/r/Aphantasia/comments/khsot8/aphantasia_as_aquired_after_use_of_ssris/

There is no consensus nonpharmacologic approach for treating aphantasia, but generally any class of meditative exercise that works to reground the eidetic library of the mind should be helpful.

Two examples of these exercises would be:

1. image streaming, where with eyes closed you self-narrate the nature of whatever visual forms first come into your mind, whether it’s darkness itself or some lesser shadow of an idea, essaying to restrengthen the link between your imaginative faculties and speech. this is something to be done a few times a week.

2. image journaling, where you try to be as verbally descriptive as possible in recording the features of your daily environment, retraining your brain to meaningfully engage with imagery. also a weekly exercise.

>with no emotions attached


This zombifying effect is peculiar to the use of all serotoninergic drugs. I remember a friend of mine relating to me how blunted and colorless the whole range of his thinking felt when withdrawing from escitalopram. I also experienced something similar. Ssris seem to induce some type of imprecise broad-spectrum brain injury, whose many symptoms require patience and intelligence to resolve. However be mindful not to ever lose confidence that the injury can be undone and cured (which I know is very hard when you are still injured). Colorlessness and emotional blunting, like aphantasia and anPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308365

Reminder that SSRIs are jewish poison

 No.308378

Thanks for some of the interesting (scary?) posts you wizzies made in this thread. It solidifies the fact I will never EVER take antidepressants or SSRIs no matter how miserable or shitty my life gets.



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