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/dep/

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 No.307294[Reply]

always no matter what happens set backs always set me back. and my goals arent that fucking unreasonable either. Change my habits, or enjoy a fucking game. and something major happens to set me back. not only am I scared to change im exausted about constantly being worried about what price im about to pay for that slight moment of enjoyment. its like the default setting for me in this life is to be miserable and useless, anything good going for me has to be double the price of bad luck to throw me back to square one. Nothing but bad luck. im just so frustrated.
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308076

>>307348
eat shit

 No.308733

>>307348
Thanks wizbro!


I am not OP, but I have my own difficulty with goals since some of my "normal" goals were awfully sabotaged by my own parents.

Thanks for cheering me for having goals to begin with! I will try to do *some of them*

 No.308743

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>>307294
Wish I had real goals too.
I relate a lot to the randomness, feeling like I'm an edge case a lot of times.

I genuinely feel like I'm an NPC in a game world at times with broken RNG. It's usually something negative, absurdly unlucky and it stacks up to "unrealistic" stories people think I make up.

Like telling a doctors about having physical pains, limping and this whole thing somehow leading me to a psych ward before they ever bother to acknowledge the physical deformity/damage, only after paying for imaging out of pocket do they finally believe me, and EVEN AFTER THAT they still push the mental shit instead every time some new shit pops up. This is basically every doctor I've met in recent memory for no discernible reason. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE

It happens in positive ways too. Like I'm on the brink of exiting life and all of a sudden I'm given a job far beyond my abilities and tolerated for years despite my many shortcomings and failures in a comfy position that I couldn't ever imagine replicating.

Critical failures absurdly disproportionate to whatever was the cause was and miraculous outcomes and rewards/results disproportionate to the effort put in.
Overall it's negative, but then great things happen just in time to keep me going….
Needless to say I've been embracing determinism as a result, but the absurdity of the experience makes it hard to believe it is strictly determined and not some random outsider having a grand old time messing with me like I used to with insects in a sandbox as a kid.

Makes me wonder how real most people are, or if I'm actually clinically insane and they just hear other words come out of my mouth than I attempt to say.
Then again sometimes the weird unprompted absurdly unrelated NPC like rants from people can be interrupted and somehow they snap back to sanity and give way to what I want. It's very odd.
Wish I was as coherent as some wizards here instead of rambling, but I hope the message is clear enough.

 No.308745

>>308057
okay

 No.308747

>>308743
>Makes me wonder how real most people are, or if I'm actually clinically insane

Most are not real. Covid should have proved this to you. And what do I mean by “real”? Having intelligence enough to think independently of others.
And you are not clinically insane. No man authentically mad would ever be discovered self-aware of his own madness.

>I genuinely feel like I'm an NPC in a game world at times with broken RNG.

You’re just smart and very self-aware in a world in which apparently nearly all are not. Any sufficiently caring and self-reflective human will fall into the belief that he’s beset by soulless people wandering through outwardly random environments as an isolated observer. The ancient gnostics even had a term for this and that term is ἀλλογενής, meaning literally “of a different kind”, but translated as “stranger”. Those who have thoughts like those contained in your post really are ἀλλογεναι (strangers) in a difficult world that is not native to the quality of their souls.

>This is basically every doctor I've met in recent memory for no discernible reason.

I can fairly say: me too! Except I disagree with >for no discernible reason. The reason is quite plain: doctors are indoctrinated; not only “intellectually”, that is in how they understand and treat diseases, but also “personally”, in how they hold the most of their patients in contempt as less than themselves. Doctors (95% of the time) are dangerous prideful psychopaths who look down on their patients while having very little actual curative medical knowledge. You should have known this by your age (presuming here that you are 30+). If I can flatter myself, I already knew to be careful around doctors (that they do not make good decisions and are often uncaring toward sufferers) by the time I was in my early 20s.

>Critical failures absurdly disproportionate to whatever was the cause was and miraculous outcomes and rewards/results disproportionate to the effort put in.

Here’s an interesting passage out of Plutarch from an essay titled “De Pythiae oraculis (On the oracles of Pythia)”, the subject whereof is the investigation of the truthfulness of the responses given to ancient men who would sue for tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


/dep/

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 No.305955[Reply]

Its hard being bad at everything, even the things you do for yourself
Whatever I touch usually ends up ruined
Its very hard on me because I allready expect to fail at whatever I try nowadays
Maybe bad luck is real, but whatever I lay my hands on usually ends up more damaged then fixed
Id like to say electronics are a hobby, but i have destroyed more then I repaired
I have no talents no ability to put any Idea I have in my mind into reality
It doesnt matter if I prepare, if I practice
My fingers dont do what I want them to
Something unexpected happens
I couldnt even fix a carburator on my bike
And I couldnt get the replacement to work either
There are very few times I have tried something and got positive results
I have been fired from every job i have ever gotten quickly
I have been learning japanese for 3 years now and I have seen other people become fluid but despite the time I poured in I still suck
Its very hard to explain to other people, they will say "you have to try more or try something different"
But I am trying and failing
Its not that im just seeing the negatives, when I actually succeed at something it makes me very happy but its a rare feeling for me
I try things, even follow tutorials and it never turns out well for me
I have ruined many things I love by trying to fix an issue and breaking them irrepairably
I just want a bit of sucess in what I do
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308651

>>306021
I hear voices and will hang myself

 No.308662

>>305985
they'll say it's a problem with your learning method or diagnose you with some mental illness like ADHD. myabe it's brain chemistry. honestly, i feel like a type 3 as well. hard work doesn't really matter all that much when you have loads of people that can do the same with fierce competition because it's low skill. so people won't convince you, you'll just be stuck

 No.308707

>>308631
I meant more 'like I am cursed' not a literal curse. More accurately it's almost as if a mysterious intelligence jabs me with these retarded torments.
I can explain everything else in my life except these series of unlikely coincidences following each other.
I don't believe it's God either, if God is real I don't believe he controls reality like this.
It remains a mystery.

 No.308713

i succeeded at being a hopeless linuxoid. checkmate, evil god.

 No.308746

>>308644
I got some little rats and they just need to be pushed together.
I think I managed to get them off the plastic frame rather nicely.
Maybe try some of those?


/wiz/

 No.228410[Reply]

I've come to terms that this is my life, but she won't accept that I'm no longer that smart quiet kid who had potential to become a doctor or lawyer.
I clearly have the symptoms of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder#Signs_and_symptoms except the bad ones.
>Psychotic symptoms such as delusions or hallucinations may occur in both manic and depressive episodes; their content and nature are consistent with the person's mood.[4] Approximately 60–75% of people with bipolar I disorder have experienced psychosis.
I'm part of the lucky 25% I guess, but I'm not normal. I tried to adjust so I can function in society, but I'm still a fuck up, and I'm not alone, many people have mental health problems for whatever reason.
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 No.228924

>>228450
Terry must have had absurdly high intelligence to make that entire system by himself. I guess you really need to study it to understand it's meaning

 No.228927

>>228924
Serenity OS is arguably more impressive, but nobody outside of techies talks about Andreas Kling because he's not memeable.

 No.228940

>>228927
it are 2 very different systems with Temple having this religious/schizo themed experience and Serenity being more centered around FreeBSD/Unix like personal computing
I don't think you really can compare the two
also becoming a meme isn't very good for the person himself I imagine

 No.228956

You will probably have to get a formal diagnosis for that. I suffered with this for a long time. Never wanted to go to a doctor because we all know what's behind that, but eventually I thought fuck it and just went. He gave me a insanity certificate and a prescription. I never take the meds, of course.

 No.228971

>>228410
what kind of mental health are you practicing? do you think everything is outside of your control and you can't make change about your life anyways and why even bother doing yourself good…

..or do you try to take responsibility and take the hard path of slowly improving everything you can?

doesn't matter what your mother thinks, she most likely thinks painting her face will make her life better so she has most likely her own problems she needs to tend to…


/wiz/

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 No.228138[Reply]

Stepped on the scale today and realized that despite the initial "push" from a medical crisis a year ago, I basically regained all weight I lost (minus 5-10kg).
I also realized I've been working for almost 3 years now, going to be 30 the same week I'll hit my 3 years of work too.
3 years… of wages wasted.

I don't even know what the fuck I spent most of it on. It just escapes me.
Still live with mom and all my necessities are taken care of she takes nothing from me.
I had a blessed opportunity these past 3 years to save up for the dogshit future that hit the world now and I wasted it on toys and basically indulging all I couldn't as a NEET with no money.
The worst is that since I'm an impulsive retard I mostly have nothing to show for it either.

Health is even more fucked then ever before since I never took action.
Rather every action that didn't prove fruitful or flat out failed resulted in my absolute surrender for another month or three or six…
Absolutely defeated at the starting line basically.

To get to the point of this thread. Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?
I barely have a sense of time. Kinda like when I was a NEET, just instead of 12-16 hours of sleeping and then PC stuff I'm forced to work a rather easy, blessed job.
Once it passes I just feel like I'm teleported to the next shift until I get to sleep through a weekend and months pass.
Even chronic pains don't make me act much. What does one even do to live?

The worst part really is that so many years went down the drain and I really have nothing to show for it. Not even memories.
I want to at least look back on SOMETHING fondly when I'm dying someday.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 No.228966

>>228138
Structured life?

Got a job that is not bullshitting me. Bullshits my mom into thinking I am a white collar of a manager also.

So hey. I am a MANAGER who can blast some music on a half-empty/half-full city bus now.

 No.228967

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>>228138
>To get to the point of this thread. Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?

i played 2000 hours of factorio and after that i knew the answer to this:

you need a system. a system that helps you distribute your attention on your good ideas. every time you have an idea like "i should really lose weight" or "i should really start to do this" or " i should really stop this behavior" there needs to be a something so you can immediately transmute this revolutionary energy into action as to preserve the fragile idea. good ideas are easily overshadowed and you need to protect them against all the things that are competing for your attention so your attention is not taken from you so you can spend it.

i write every little idea i have on a (lined, a7-sized) index card and then on most days when i see the fools do doom scolling on their phone, i do my own scrolling with the index cards and bring those ideas back into my radius of attention. i constantly flood my attention with what i want to accomplish and also i write steps on these cards and track progress a little bit.

that way you stop the natural impulse to flee from an unpleasant life into toys/entertainment and instead handle all your business.

 No.228968

>>228967
Weirdly relevant. After I made this post >>228921 I took a bunch of idk what size cardboard cards and started something similar.
Each card has "desired outcome" with a few checkboxes to see on which days I actually did something to move towards it.
Enough space to make small notes of what exactly needs doing as a next step.
I plan to reflect every 7 days on these.

Splitting things into what can be done by not doing, so passive stuff and things that need me to act.
Avoiding things should be easier to start with. ie. don't stuff your face, don't rip your hair out etc.
Hope it gets the ball rolling with that + small actions.

I do prefer to be pacified through daydreams and entertainment though.

 No.228969

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>>228968

i hope the cards work as good for you as they did for me.

whenever i complete a card, i put it on a discard pile in my shelf and the little discard pile has reached impressive height in the ~7 month i have been using the cards so this now has reached the point where just looking at the pile i feel motivated and able.

there is an old audiobook from the cassette era called "the psychology of achievement" by the author named Brian Tracy. these days you can find full versions on youtube, though i'd rather look on piratebay for a copy. the reason i mention this old audiobook is that the dude has good ideas about what he calls goalsettings. for example he says it is best to review your goals every evening and then make a plan for the next day in the evening. i do believe little cards are more practical for a beginner then writing out a new list every evening but all his ideas about this topic are solid and well worth a listen as is the whole audiobook. maybe you find some good ideas to improve your own system but i think it is amazing that you do this, hopefully you get as good as an experience as i have had.

i just write everything i want to have happen on the little cards and i look at them often and then subconsciously good ideas grow that help me realize them and next time i look on the card, i might find the small step necessary to bring it into reality. what i learned from this the most is how short a day is and how limited the resource called time is. good luck to you, i'll probably read the entire thread and if i think of something interesting i try my best to be short about it and not write an entire wall.

 No.228970

>>228968
>I do prefer to be pacified through daydreams and entertainment though.

that to me sounds like the gravity of your escapist habits trying to weigh you down. i hope you reach the point where you make your actual real life so enjoyable that you don't want to flee it anymore but i am nobody to give this advice, every few weeks or months i take a few days and binge some strategy or management pc-game, which is partly fleeing from my life for a short while but also kind of mental training i believe.


/dep/

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 No.308091[Reply]

What is everyones thoughts on leaving a suicide note? Is it necessary for closure for others? A way to get everything off your chest before you ack? Or just a waste of time?

I have been staring at my .60 cent retirement plan, and am not sure if I would just like to go out and just have everyone guessing. Or if its right to leave a note. Most of my family thinks I am useless or lazy. However they have no introspection on that they are the ones who raised me.
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 No.308728

>>308727
You may say that, but imagine having been tortured before even a month old to no real medical purpose whatever; and the torture being so extreme that it resulted in you having a damaged nervous system and irregular heartbeat for life.

I think "I do prefer" with.

 No.308730

>>308728
Now you know why it's so worldview-altering to be born in a [REDACTED] family.

 No.308732

>>308728
Well, at under a month old you have no memory of the event. I do at age 14 and it was agony even through anesthesia. The recovery was hell and peeing was hell for about one full month.

 No.308734

>>308732
Not having memory of the traumatic event doesn't prevent your neurons from their huge dose of shock though. Come to think of it, this practice could have been inspired by people who put plants through stress to stimulate growth.

 No.308744

>>308728
>>308730
I’ve written this before somewhere on the boards of other fora, but I’ll repeat it here as I think it has some worth in sufficing the truth:

Judaism “works”, that is — it is psychologically effectual — because the entire system is rooted in trauma conditioning. I would even go so far as to say that Jewishness or Yiddishkeit (yiddish for jewishness) is properly speaking a series of codified trauma reflexes affixed into the receiving mind at an age when the mind cannot make critical sense of what it is learning. Here’s an adumbrated list showing my thinking:

Circumcision: learned trauma reflex

Exodus (where evil goyim are persecuting you): learned trauma reflex

Holocaust (which we can agree here without any charge of anti-semitism was/is a dramatized historical event): learned trauma reflex

Contemptible goyim who hate you causelessly: learned trauma reflex

Yirat Ha’Shamim (hebrew for “fear of the skies/heaven”, the essential underpinning point of their “education” system, if you can call it that): obvious learned trauma reflex

Mesirah (the halachic precept that is the reflexive antitype of a mafia code enforcing punitive measures against jews who inform on jews to goyish authorities): learned trauma reflex

Kashrut (hebrew for propriety, meaning obviously properness in one’s dietary practices): learned trauma reflex that like circumcision binds the mind of the believing jew into a state of fear and self-chosen exclusion.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


/dep/

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 No.302164[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
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 No.308658

Alcohol has been driving me rabid over the last couple of months. I don't know why.

 No.308665

>>308658
Alcohol delirium is soon, m8

Avoid quitting cold turkey too.

 No.308710

>>308658
I'm an anxious wreck so when something bad happens I almost immediately start hitting the sauce to chill out.

My best and worst moments in life have been due to drinking.

If I did not drink at all my life would have been boring and safe, which is probably better honestly. You only need to do something retarded once and your life is ruined.

 No.308712

>>308710
i could say the same about anime. watching anime is safer than drinking alcohol, though

 No.308742

I've discovered taking 2000mg of NAC is an excellent hangover treatment. It's also helped me sleep better and feel more sharp. I've also been taking B1 to treat headaches as alcohol saps that from your system.

Ideally I'd have some magnesium as well but I ran out.


[Last 50 Posts]

/dep/

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 No.308343[Reply]

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

Previous: >>307210
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 No.308729

>>308698
>claims SCH is substance-driven
Did I get your point right?

 No.308737

>>308692
okay
>>308698
no clear connection to any drug here
it's more like 50-50, you have the ones who fried themselves on stims or weed and the ones who just started hallucinating one day with no clear reason

 No.308738

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>>308725

 No.308740

Smells like a shonen story, in a sense

 No.308741

I'm normally lazy about brushing my teeth and had random awful teeth pain. Ever since I've started taking high dose D3 + K2 every day the pain has completely subsided and my teeth feel stronger in general. Obviously, avoiding sugary drinks also helps.

One less thing to be depressed about I guess.


/hob/

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 No.70176[Reply]

Discussion about the lucrative, dangerous, and interesting hobby of Dumpster Diving.

High priority finds: Anything worth $$$, duh. Here's some examples:
-PC/Electronic equipment
-Sealed products, boardgames, clothing etc
-Food(sealed and safe)
-Anything you can use

Every day at my job I throw away several thousands of dollars of supermarket goods that are still good but we cannot legally sell them. Sometimes the seal is slightly broken and if anyone gets sick from that, that's a 6 or 7 digit number we get fined, so it's easier to avoid that altogether and claim insurances. Every single night people raid our dumpster. It makes sense.

I also used to use this method to survive decently while I was homeless.

Please post your thoughts and experiences
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.70649

>>70646
1) Beings on Reddit are only going to post the 1/100 times they get lucky, and not the 99/100 times they find junk or outright nothing.
2) I wouldn't put it past some Redditors to fake finding something good in a dumpster for temporary internet fame.

 No.70651

>>70644
Well you are supposed to do a quick visual first.. I mean I'm not digging into mushy compiles of old food and mystery sludge. When game stores were popular enough to have actual locations they would throw away so much gold.

>>70645
Nice finds man, I've been trying to get a nice CRT TV but they seem incredibly hard to find in my local area. Need one for my older games.

>>70645
I'm OP, I'm a good goy too with a job and paying rent and other bills. Most dumpsters are locked or soft locked, and I strictly do not break or bend any type of law. Only do green level ones. Btw the captcha is good for a month i believe

 No.70659

>>70645
>Not Op but where I live they throw out CRT TV monitors and various furniture a lot. One time someone left behind a giant rear projection tv. Back when I was younger, about 15ish years ago, longer even, I got a dumpster dived Gamecube with games, including Metroid, RE, and Zelda. Is that gross?
I don't believe dumpster divers routinely make these finds.
But I think you know that already.

 No.70689

>>70659
I used to find CRTs just laying near trash.

Truth is, I scored a CRT TV once for a 1$

I feel a bit sad I have no place to put a CRT to play old console games on it since Ive seen old TVs laid for free 6 or 7 times already (pun not intended)

 No.70690

>>70689
Why are CRTs popular now, those things give off radiation and are noisy, that whine used to give me a headache


/music/

 No.8728[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Just a random general where you can post and discus whatever music stuff that doesn't quite fit into another existing thread, but you don't feel like making whole thread for it.
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 No.10916


 No.10933

Let me tell you how it go in here, boy it's kinda cold in here, you ain't got nobody make a stove in here

 No.10937


 No.10939


 No.10951



[Last 50 Posts]

/lounge/

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 No.323653[Reply]

I'm curious what the covid-19 vaccination rate is like among wizards.

Personally, I was the only one in my immediate and extended family to not get the vaccine or boosters. No doubt influenced by the normie propaganda, I faced a lot of harassement and pressure from my mother.

Knowing my family, I would also probably have been uninvited from family gathering for not having the vaccine but since I stopped seeing them 2 decades ago, it was a moot point.
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 No.324332

covid proved to anyone with an observing brain that separate nationhood no longer exists and that advertised conflicts between country A and country B are only phantoms animated by the jewish magicians that rule this world. for a people reputed to be so smart, shouldn’t it have occurred to the regent jews that enforcing their covid hoax across all their client states would be an unwise idea, in that it would yield proof for the actual political condition of a jewish world-government? which thinking observer could credit the illusion of a “US/Iran war”, when covid demonstrated both nations to be beneath mutual jewish dictatorships?

erasmus speaking of an instance of perfidious princes playing secret war-games wrote :

“Torqueri poterit et in satrapas istos, qui, tametsi belligerari videntur magnoque rerum tumultu conflictari, tamen ipsi clanculum inter se colludunt, hoc tantum agentes, ut suam uterque plebem exhauriat et imminuta reipublicae auctoritate suam constabiliant tyrannidem.”

“It [the example] shall also be able to be bent into those satraps, who, although they seem to belligerate and to be conflicted with a great tumult of things, nevertheless they themselves secretly between themselves collude, doing this only, so that each may exhaust his own people and with the authority of the republic lessened may solidify his own tyranny.”

this collusive habit however is now no longer peculiar to the affairs of semi-minor princes, but is infected into the all the modern world where nationless jewish satraps invent between themselves schemes of war wherewith to ruin the peoples they pretend to serve. what an idiotic and insufferable ruling condition, that America is not American (it is jewish), that England is not English (it is jewish), that France is not French (it is jewish), that Spain is not Spanish (it is jewish), that Russia is not Russian (it is jewish), that China is not Chinese (it is jewish), and that Iran is not Iranian (it is jewish). the great ambition of judeo-masonry (a politically unified and war-less world) is now proved to be a lie, as these monsters clearly never had any meaning to topple monarchies and kill nationalist regimes in the interest of a common shareable peace, but only in the interest of enabling themselves with more leverage that they might better enslave their enemies and hold them in loops of controlled warfare.

we waken now on whatever given day to be embarrassed with the weiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.324349

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>>324332
What about the people who played along and wanted to ostracise and imprison nonconformists, it's like some kind of psychotic normcattle hivemind thing.

 No.324352

>>324349
Jews suicided their own cattle by simply using the TV to fake a viral pandemic. What does that say about the cattle? Sadly these cattle are also members of our own families. I think 97-98% of humanity does not have free will, or intelligence enough to think for themselves. Very scary. Extremely so.

>>324332
This should be a basic observation but it seems most would rather watch soccer than acknowledge the reality of a jewish world government.

 No.324360

i got covid around 6 times from wageslaving at retail and being an unhygienic slob with no washing hands etc. its just the flu but the headache is a bit worse. i feel the same as i did before i got covid. my mom is much older and i spread it to her and she didnt even care at all it affected her way less than it hurt me.
i thought its funny they tried to push vaccines for covid so much when something like 70% of people dont have friends and dont go outside. u are scared you'll get covid from tapping your debit card or touching the gasoline nozzle? where would you get it from even

 No.324361

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>>324360


/dep/

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 No.308694[Reply]

Do you think suicide hotlines are helpful? I have been calling them almost everyday without anything improving.
Is there a better alternative?
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308709

>>308694
Do not do this, they will rat you out and send cops to your house. Also one time they gave me the number to a sex hotline, I think the operator was fucking with me kek.

 No.308714

I don't use them because I suspect if they think you will attempt right now they send the cops or emergency psychiatric services.
Not gonna risk an involuntary hold just to talk with someone.

 No.308731

>>308714
>>308709
IIRC those suicide hotlines used to exist back in the payphone days.

Too bad you cannot realistically find a payphone these days but some are still out there

 No.308735

>>308714
They only exist as a weapon to screen out desperate people who could do unpredictable harm to the owning class.

The intent was never to help you. As someone macabrely described above, they will even hang up on you right as you are about to end your life once their 12 minute allocation for you is used up.

The only way they will stay on the line longer is if they suspect you might lash out against property or third parties so they can report you, or in extreme cases hold you on the line long enough so you can be triangulated, geolocated and swatted.

 No.308739

>>308731
I know they were dirty and expensive but payphones strangely seem to have soul and character to me. Smartphones are so boring.


/wiz/

 No.228525[Reply]

Why do wizards use herms like succubi for succubi, or is it for specific succubi
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228567

>>228525
>Why do wizards use herms like succubi for succubi,

the word w/o/men automatically self-corrects to "succubi". i believe it is the same case for the word f-e-males. so that whenever these words are straight out written without intercalary modification they are rendered as succubi. in the same way s-oy auto-corrects to "onions" on halfchins.

 No.228568

>>228526
is this your first time on an imageboard???

 No.228574

>>228568
pity he's gonna his mind ruined by the fucked up demons who lurk here but hey everybody had the first time

 No.228575

>>228525
Life in a sense, is a liturgy. I'm not a gnostic, but the concept of loosh is quite helpful. For example, even outside wiz, I spell succubi as w o m * n (with a *). I internally lowered them from their pedestal, and refuse to give them my loosh.

 No.228965

>>228567
This is the answer. You can't type w.o.-m-en without autocorrection rendering it as succubi.


/wiz/

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 No.228407[Reply]

Why is anime so engraved into this site and this kind of culture? Is it just the cause of the succubi or cause japan had the crab culture first?
29 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228515

>>228514
So we basically had the same/really similar experience just at a different time.
Cool to see.
Wonder how the generation whose first anime was something like black clover or jujutso you mention views their hobby. Must be quite a bit different.
I notice younger guys seem to be rather detached from things they enjoy as well. Not sure how to describe it better than that.

 No.228520

>>228515
the detachment is in big part because everything is a bit easier. In dialup days, getting a full length episode could be a week long project, and it *cost* you.

Now to enjoy something you're at most 5 clicks and a one line search from whatever it is you wanted.

 No.228928

>>228513
> What were some of the first memorable anime you watched and at around what age did you start? What got you into it?

well, obviously the first one that I watched was dragon ball, but the first I began to follow was attack on titan when the first season came out. I remember looking for it on youtube haha

what was your first one?

 No.228963

>>228491
Maybe unrelated but it took me until chapter 6 to realize that I was reading a nRX book by Yarvin, lol. I have read Nick Land and I was feeling kinda familiar with the ideas. It completely slipped my mind that Mencius Moldbug is Yarvin pen name.
Also, I wonder if he ever read Nietzsche, because they are basically saying the same thing about Christianity ("God is dead; but given the way of men, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown. ––And we––we still have to vanquish his shadow, too.").

 No.228964

All animation is masonic conditioning, reaching back to the "first animation" which was the sethian masonic "mickey mouse". Later Disney animated movies (very popular in the 1990s) were popularized trauma conditioning for children that used masonic stories like Hamlet (evil uncle kills his regal brother following which the king's son must avenge him) bizarrely adapted to an invented fictional framework of talking lions. The Hunchback of Our Lady for instance was patterned off the legend of an actual operant mason who was said to have contributed to the renewed Gothic/Satanic architecture of that cathedral. All these movies felt dark to me as a boy and still do and for that reason I still avoid them.

Japanese cartoons or "anime" like Pokemon (pocket monsters) have always been complete garbage that I recall were denounced by Christians as having masonic/satanic thematic elements of demonic invocation and evolution. Yugi-Oh (where a little coy boy called Yugi becomes a brave daring card-dueler after possession by a pharaonic spirt or pharaoh, thus Yugi-Oh) was similar complete garbage that I always wondered how others my age were taken in by.

More properly Japanese cartoons like Transformers carry conditioning themes of aliens and outer space – neither of which are real. Ghost in the Shell is basic immortality/transhumanist propaganda. Evangelion (a strange name I always thought, as this is a misspelling deriving from the Greek word εὐαγγέλιον (euangelion) which properly means "good-announcement" or "evangel") is a very over-esteemed cartoon produced by post-wwii masonic-influenced Japanese that concerns a secretive group of kabbalistic rulers ("Seele") resemblant of Jewish bankers who use the "absolute terror" field of children to fight the angels of god. This cartoon is irrationally considered canonical in terms of standard of animation achievement.

I've always found the class of men drawn to Japanese animation and culture in general to be unsavory and weird. Fandom for “Dragonball” was the domain of strange children even when I was a child. This even more so now in our own modern day where "anime" is mostly patent transgender conditioning for youths, the love for which is expropriated by men far too advanced in age to have a legitimate interest in such things.

But perhaps all video entertainment media – not just anime – have always been judeo-masonic propaganda. The most well-celebrated "directorPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


/dep/

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 No.303825[Reply]

Would they? I've been thinking.

My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.
32 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308236

>>308235
no, i hate them too much, that's why they're buried under this pile

 No.308237

>>308236
k

 No.308285

>>303825
I have a friend who would care I think.
Though not in a devastating way I believe since he has other friends too. I'm fine with that if it ever comes to that.
Mom might care too I guess, but likely in a relief kinda way.

 No.308300

>>307075
That is the thing nigga. You don't have to do anything. And that is exactly why people want you to die.

 No.308736

File: 1782513197091.png (762.26 KB, 976x1056, 61:66, 17798107060300003572.png) ImgOps iqdb

Well…


My immediate family would have been at each other throats screaming "how come you didn't see he was going to do this". Some people I know would get sad and get drunk thinking how come *this world* isn't built to recognize and nurture talented people's talents as if the country has evolved backwards to the 1800s. Maybe some of my relatives would get a silent trauma thinking they could have prevented this…



…OR MAYBE the case would have been classified as an accident and the relatives would shit on me for being careless. I can imagine some yobs' litter (beer bottles, vodka bottle, snack wraps) would have been linked to my rotten body, resulting in the "case of death: drunk like a skunk" final lie in my tragic story of being forced to live in the world woven of lies, damn lies.


/games/

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 No.63562[Reply]

I'm interested in rpgmaker games in general, I feel like there's some gems out there ready to be discovered. digg in! as they say haha
I also like to know the games you've played and your opinions on it.
Don't forget to share some gems, wizards!
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.63580

>>63579
dunno, thats pretty autistic. how do you integret that in a rpgmaker game?

 No.63581

File: 1782495231321.png (818.99 KB, 2822x2637, 2822:2637, NamelessCityBoss.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>63580
Ok well. the models are posed and sometimes edited to become portraits for bosses, enemies, ect. I can make a model and from it create several different enemy variants. here the second two pictures are optional "secret" things you can find (this one is easy to find but others will be more obscure). I chose ponies as the magic and differences between them and other quadrupedal species can be interesting. there are no "furry" things like human bodies with animal heads, I find that disturbing honestly. The story boiled down to the most basic is ponies (good) fighting monsters and ancient evils of many sorts. I've written alot of convoluted lore for many things but overall very simple game to play, at the start you will pick one of four 'alicorn' (winged unicorn) to have as your special character. it will unlock special interactions with the world. each can use different equipment and all have different followers. it will really just be a dungeon crawler with fancy paint at the end of the day.

 No.63582

>>63581
sounds like a good idea which could work and be a successful if you happen to release the game

 No.63583

>>63582
I hope to release it one day. but I only have the first 2 areas made and the tier 1 weapons. those are fun to make. little minecraft-like pixel art weapons

 No.63584

>>63583
good luck, wizard


/dep/

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 No.307023[Reply]

This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.

Previous:
>>296511
75 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308551

>>308550
apparently with the exit bag method where you use a bag of plastic it is more effective, I'm not planning on doing it for the short term so I hope when the time comes somewhere in the world suicide pods are readily available, if I try to do the suiciding on my own without help I'll probably fuck it up.

 No.308563

Does anyone know how likely it is in western countries to be forcefeed if you stop eating? Google gives me bullshit results.

Will they make a hole in your stomach and forcefeed you from there? Or will it be through blood? How long can they sustain this? Especially if you refuse any treatment and actively resist.

 No.308564

>>308563
I also read they can put a tube in your nose permanently and push food down your throat with a pump.

 No.308721

I really regret postponing my attempt in april, now it's june and I'm still here

 No.308726

>>308564
They don't need to. They can give you enough proteins, fats and vitamins through IV injection indefinitely.


/wiz/

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 No.227944[Reply]

wizards, this is a truly important question. how do you tell your mom, or anyone else for that matter, that you are really not interested in whatever female they think you should "befriend"?

i know you're going to troll me, but i still kindly ask you to find a second and think about what could be the *optimal* solution. the solution that doesn't burn bridges, doesn't create bitter enemies and yet lets you maintain the high ground. i know this is not fully achievable, but there gotta be an algorithm or something.

my brain just crashes in such situations. it's like "idk wtf are you're even talking about???" i need help
71 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.228894

>>227944
my mom's dead so I don't have to worry. It's more about my dad and me being his sole sun. That he's already hooking up with another succubus and insisting I go into therapy and go onto medication to put up with her that directly effects my ability to masturbate just makes me don't give a fuck any more

 No.228948

>>228241
Gesture language varies between nations.

Good luck deciphering a bloke as myself.

 No.228957

>>227944
With the one and only argument there is: there's no such thing as a friendship between man and succubus.
You can't change a person's perspective on anything, specially if you're in a position of disadvantage from the start. That's the case for every son x parents dynamics. You can say you have no sexual urges whatsoever. I don't know. Perhaps you could stall the annoyance by pretending to be hormonally broken. Or get a diagnosis. That tends to make them jaded.

 No.228961

>>228957
mom says
>sonny just gotta try it plsplspls trust me you're gonna love it!!!
spoiler: she just wants grandkids.

 No.228962

>>228961
All animals do and humans are animals


/dep/

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 No.306545[Reply]

I am not even that horny, a lot of the days I force my self to do it while not even being in the mood for it, it's just the most effective way for me to cope, masturbation is free, gives you instant pleasure and can burn for you many hours at the time, there are times when i find my self touching myself just so I can use it as a way to distract my self for my anxieties and negative thought loops, as soon as i start touching myself all my anxiety and negative emotions start to dissolve as much as i hate and it hate how much i overdo it, i can't deny it makes getting through my days easier when i can just touch my self for many hours instead of just sitting there being miserable feeling hollow bored to tears and empty or anxious and overthinking at worse, my point here is that I believe the addiction for me is a mere sympotom, something I use to escape my negative feelings and the emptiness of my daily life, thanks for reading my blogpost
70 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308597

yuki

 No.308633

>>306545
I have the opposite problem, I've done it so much my dick doesn't even care anymore, I just ignore the feelings now because it'd be too much effort to make anything happen physically.

 No.308671

>>306545
Reaching full week of edging. Didn't quit fapping entirely but it's a start.

 No.308704

>>308596
can you help me with this?
i have been realizing the source of my cravings is a lot of existential dread and knowing "I have to tackle my mental health" but not feeling up for the task of maintaining that effort and changing my life…

so did your detatchment lead you to fixing any of the things that triggered you?

or did your mindfulness practice alleviate it altogether?

 No.308724

>>307853
such a strange plight of existence huh?

i sometimes wonder if my dopamine could self-regulate back to normal

i wonder how many decades i have spent half-present, half-lost in fantasy in my head or lingering tingles of whatever is left from the last wave of ecstacy.

once you get a hit in the day, nothing else can compare. it's hard to imagine a life without the cycle and the chase for more dopamine…

and let me guess, lucid dreams would just be an even more deep layer of escape?

(i know because that's what it has been for me, when I can manage to achieve them…. for the record I highly recommend it lol)

This post sounds like i'm wallowing with you but i genuinely wonder if this is just the best option for us to exist, have a bit of pleasure at least as we slowly slip through existence as a low-level untranscended wizard?


/dep/

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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
241 posts and 35 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308647

>>308628
They let me have one because they think I don't listen to them when I have them both on. I don't mind it though.

Again, I am not sure that the checklists would help since I am not sure if I'd even check them. It is also a problem with complex procedures when I'd have to make really advanced checklists to cover all possible mistakes.

I thought that I might be spacing out simply because of anxiety over wasted time and people watching me. Perhaps I'll try to drink some mint or whatever when I'll be at work next time. At least I'll be less upset when I'll fuck something up.

 No.308649

>>308642
People back then thought the good times would last.

 No.308655

>>308637
What's ur endgame when your parents die? Why not just skip to the chase and go live in a retard home

 No.308663

>>308655
Community homes are hellish, you don't have privacy and you need to follow rules, also you don't have air conditioning and computer usage is limited. I want to remain at home in my bed which is comfy and large. So my plan when my parents die is to sell through an administrator every inherited property of my family and to pay a caregiver to make food and clean my house and do laundry and buy me stuff until the very end. I calculated tbat I will need €2000 monthly to cover the costs, my disability pays €942, so €1058 will be from savings, when money runs out I will die from starvation while sinking in the garbage. My future depends on how many money my grandparents will leave us.

 No.308723

Another development on the clumsiness front.

When I was labeling some cables I recalled that I didn't get the quality control form filled out (and it had to cover like 1000 labelings). Since it was already done I decided not to risk making it up all from scratch and left it alone hoping noone would notice. Of course my boss had to ask about it the next day while he almost never does that. Once he found out that it's non-existent he forced an awkward interchange that went somewhat like that:

>Why did you not fill out the form?
>Well, I forgot
>…
>Why did you forget?
>????

We stared awkwardly at each other for like 5-10 seconds and he went away telling me that I'm starting to act like a retard.

Later he told me that if some sort of auditor or a client would notice that workers miss out filling these forms this way the company could lose the certificate and generally be in deep shit so I MUST stop commiting fuck ups with these forms.

Then he proceeded to complain that despite of working there for two years I am incredibly dependent on others and keep asking silly questions like where to put random shit (I genuinely feel confused and do have to ask such stuff) that has a specified place to be put that I was told about a month before. Then that I am getting late a couple of minutes every day and that I am painfully slow, finishing that in case of any bonuses or god forbid firings I will be at a huge disadvantage.

The thing that pisses me off is that I literally didn't think of that form, it didn't exist until I randomly realized that I have to fill it out. Only reasons why that might happen is that I am so spaced out that I work on some sort of vague auto pilot and keep doing mistakes because of that. Other than that I don't know. Maybe I should try to get an ADHD diagnosis or something? Perhaps a tax cut would make my employers less whiny if disability would grant it…


[Last 50 Posts]

/lounge/

File: 1781000287008.jpg (910.35 KB, 2048x1152, 16:9, 4366525252.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.324033[Reply]

I don't think AI will be around for long, and not for the reason people think.

AI is very old technology, the LLMs utilized are from the 1950s. When computers were first invented they tried using artificial neurons that learnt (the Perceptron). The problem was back then memory and scaling, you could get one node to learn but by the time it went to the next it started to forget. The hardware wasn't there. Because of this AI bots relied on binary tree if/else statements and weren't programmed to learn for decades.

All that happened in the 2010s was that hardware became available to stack LLMs on top of each other. The technology behind AI is veeeeery old, it's a hardware problem. If you're some nerd that reads into tech innovations you'll find the same is true for most inventions. Wood pulp paper wasn't suddenly eureka invented in the 19th century, it's that the steam engine made the processing of wood through mulching possible. The automatic threshing machine wasn't eureka invented, it's that there were dozens of invisible small innovations that fed into it that went unthanked, like the complex mathematic epicycloid calculations that went into the gear functions that some mathematics nerds and clockmakers perfected decades ago.

Anyways, the actual supply chains that are currently feeding the current top of the line GPUs and chips are unsustainable. They're spread across so many countries and it's like a precarious inverted pyramid, each part of the chip fabrication is a monopoly because it's stretching human ingenuity and ability to its absolute limit. And for every part of the input (the lenses, the robotic arms, the chemical acids, the light diodes for the lasers, etc) there's like another 5,000+ companies making bespoke tools for specialists. It's quite literally not cost effective or arguably even possible to scale production further. Like the Concorde and other supersonic jets, the rising costs are not due to economic constraints, but human. The concorde went out of service, and likewise AI will too.

The AI bubble will burst once they try to recuperate costs, once they find out that businesses don't want to pay $100,000 for the slop, they'll get a government bail out. The government will bail it out thinking they're getting a palatinr tier surveillance engine. This will turn out to be a white elephant because the AI data centers built will require replacing every 3 years due to the GPUs burning out, costing hundreds Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.324247

it's funny that AI vibe coding is encouraging sloppy coding that eats more RAM, while simultaneously costing more RAM. Eventually this is going to be like the oil market where it will become economical for new players to enter and undercut everyone. That's probably what China is working on.

I don't think this bubble will burst. The rich will make it go the way of self driving cars, quietly forgotten. They got way too much invested and don't dare admit they made a dumb decision. China doesn't have to win militarily, they just gotta take advantage of this dumb shit to crash our economy.

 No.324277

>>324035
What about China?
The got everything they need on paper.

>>324033
Maybe I'm a retard and missed your point entirely, but again, why would the whole world or AI in general go the way of the dodo?
Consumer grade hardware which is plenty and has a wide market can run insane stuff now.
The whole palantir thing doesn't need as many resources as you seem to think either.

I could see chip making as a whole being hit if a couple big companies get hit in some major war or something.
Idk I'm just some retard anyways. Don't see this happening.
Even if ASML and taiwan as a whole gets obliterated I think a lot of other companies now have the means to produce such hardware.
Maybe not top0.00001% level, but at this point isn't computing already way stronger than we need anyways?

Smart people can just come up with better code, better math etc.
Chinese are already trying to kill USA AI with their own free/open source stuff and they seem to be succeeding in some ways showing people that paying USA companies to hand them all your business data might not be a good value proposition…

 No.324328

>>324247
Self driving cars… forgotten? Lel wut?

 No.324346

I don't have anything to add OP because I think the same is going to happen. It's just a matter of when.
I'm more interested in the (for now still theoretical) quantum hardware.

 No.324350

>>324346
>quantum hardware
Fake except will be used as an excuse used for crypto money stolen (all of them will become worthless) lol


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