When I was 14, I had to give a speech in front of the class; I was laughed at by everyone. That year was the worst of my life; I was constantly mocked and humiliated at school because my family was poor and struggled to afford my education. I felt utterly defeated, and my father only made things worse—he was always fighting with my mother. The worst happened when I was 18; I was bullied at my new school after finishing elementary school, and my family didn't seem to care. My father was an alcoholic who was constantly angry and fighting with my mother. For three years, I felt trapped, unable to find a safe haven. Just as I was about to graduate from junior high, the COVID-19 pandemic hit; schools closed, and we all had to stay home for online learning. I spent two years studying online at home during the transition from junior high to high school, finally returning to in-person classes once the pandemic ended.
My class had been split up; during the pandemic, we were divided into three groups—1A, 1B, and 1C—and I was in 1C. When we returned to face-to-face learning, class 1C was dissolved and its students were distributed between 1A and 1B; I ended up in 1B. My high school classmates were kind to me and liked me. Eka, who had originally been in 1B (unlike me, who came from the split class), had to drop out because he couldn't afford the fees. While I was popular with my classmates, Ryan—who was an original 1B student like Eka—was jealous that I was well-liked despite coming from the split class. Everyone was hiding their true selves, and their kindness was often a lie. I had a best friend in high school named Andito, but our friendship didn't last; it eventually fell apart. When I gave a speech about COVID-19 in class—an assignment where we each had to take turns presenting—my classmates later shunned me, thinking I was the "bad guy" for talking about the virus. Yet, considering the endless news coverage and trials surrounding the Ferdy Sambo case—where a police officer shot another officer—surely I wasn't entirely the villain, right? After all, even though a high school friend filmed me giving that COVID speech and labeled me the bad guy, the news about the virus was eventually overshadowed by that police scandal; strangely enough, the police case was declared resolved right around the time I gave my speech. Now that I’ve graduated from high school, I constantly feel lonely. At night, I’m haunted by my dark past, and every day feels tedious; the en
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