>>227832>AutismSorry my engrish
Functional autist people got support and good healthy behaviour bacause they got good socialization as young.
If you never got a good support or healthy behaviour or good socialization later your gonna go full into isolation and little by little these isolation gonna make you total retard anyway bacause social isolation make that into your brain.
I at university and at times the feeling of out of place and loniless hurt a lot.
I the autist in a poor family with no treatment in a third world country obbseded with shity freudian psychoanalysis and not science.
Yep, at times i feel like a retard in university and my attention spam maybe is not so focused in my discipline or routines.
The neurodivergent thing at this point its an insult to me.
And yes, i secretly want the feeling of human contact or the feeling of "be" like a human being with friends or a stupid girlfriend or something but i know that very little probable to happen bacause i feel like a outcast i my race and the unique way to them to treat me in a more possible way "human" or maybe normal or normie is just dont giving much info or personal info, larp or acting like normal and mimitizing in a damn stupid hardcore way the damn stupid behaviour they have just to "pass" a little. But in reality i fucking tired of this shit at times i just want to escape from this world, still the idea of love or friends or even a "job" or good utility for humanity or animals is beatiful idea and avway to live to me but… what the purpose if gonna suffer a lot and they never gonna treat me like a damn human being?
I not suicidal or deppresive, i just tired.
That's why sometimes and back in time i enjoyed a lot scapism like mmo, IRC chats, chans, reading thing, book hobbies, art and craft, listening music, etc. But i got tired of computers and artificial lights, bacause the more i go full in these worlds, the more i feel less human and more like a damn robot.
I dont want to die alone, i dont to die without love or the feeling of humanity, sometimes i feel total dehumanized and other times i just cry in plain sight but hidden in these "social acting" structure, bacause i want thing that maybe i never gonna get in this life.
The more simple i got in my approach of life, the more happy i got.